Moth
by charnii
Summary: Paul's life changes when a girl turns up at The Rez carrying a bag of money, a child and a troubled past.
1. Run

**.1.**

I ran faster than I ever had before.

My powerful muscles burned under the strain but I can't risk slowing even a little, can't risk them catching up.

The bundle hanging from my jaws wriggled around, as scared as I was. _Hold on Caspar, I'm going to get us somewhere safe._

Pushing myself harder I ignore my screaming body, focusing on the sounds of our persuers becoming more and more distant and the dream of a safe place, a home, becoming more and more of a reality.

Feeling the exhilaration of freedom I left my past behind and just ran.

* * *

It was pouring down with rain when I arrived in La Push.

Panting hard I found a semi-dry spot under a bush, putting the bulky bundle down gently, I shifted back into my human form. Goosebumps rushed over my body at the loss of my thick fur and my hands trembled as I wrestled with the tight knot of the blanket I used as a makeshift bag that I'd filled with as much money as I could grab, a t-shirt and pair of jeans to change into and Casper nestled between the soft cotton and mass of paper bills.

The three-year-old's teary, pale green eyes met my odd ones as I pulled the blanket apart, his arms reaching out desperately to me, face screwing up as he started to cry. "Shh baby." I draw him into my arms. "We're safe now. We're safe." I soothed, rocking softly, running my hands up and down his back to calm him.

We sit there, huddled together, his hands clenched tightly in my hair, face buried in my shoulder hiccuping little cries. Me holding him tightly and trying to hold myself together, trying not to think about if what we had to do next didn't work out.

 _Don't think about it, just get dressed and get moving._

Pushing Caspar away from me I sweep back his mass of dark hair, meeting his eyes. "We have to get moving Cass, okay? We're going to find the nice man and get help."

The little boy rubs his eyes on his sleeve and nods. "Okay."

Placing him on the ground I hastily pull the jeans and t-shirt on, re-tying the blanket together, hauling it up my arm then lifting Caspar into my arms, holding him close to my body as I emerge from the partial cover of the bush. I quickly walk through the forrest, heading towards the smell of people, hopefully we could find the man we were looking for soon and I could get Caspar dry.

A rugged house comes into view, it was painted a flaking red and had a ramp leading up to the door. Rushing up to it I put Caspar and the bag down. "Stay behind me." I say as I move to stand in front of him, hesitating before I knock three times on the door, awkwardly shuffling back a little with Caspar clinging to the back of my legs.

"Jake!" A mans voice shouts from within the house.

"Alright, I've got it! " A younger sounding male voice shouts back. The door swings open, and I step back a little again, placing my hand on Caspar's head, holding him against me. The light from inside the house stings my eyes momentarily before it's nearly completely blocked out by the huge muscled form of a tanned skinned teenage boy. Holding the door open with his left hand he ran his right through his short black hair eyeing my drenched form suspiciously, "can I help you?"

" Do you know where I can find Billy Black?" I ask carefully.

His eyes narrow and he stands up straighter. "Why do you want to know that?" Caspar grasps my legs tighter, hearing the tension in the teens voice.

"Please, I've come a long way. I need to speak with him." I meet his sharp gaze pleadingly.

"Who're you talking to Jake?" The older male voice from before calls from out from behind the hulking teenager.

"Some girl, says she came to talk to you." The teen replies, never taking his assessing gaze from me.

"Well invite her in then, it's pouring down out there! Have I taught you nothing about treating women properly?" The teen makes no move to comply, obviously unsure of whether my intentions are good.

Caspar sneezes from behind me.

The boy's eyes snap towards his shivering form peeking from behind my legs and I immediately tense up ready to flee, or fight, if he makes any wrong move toward my soaking wet toddler. The teen seemed to freeze before sniffing, a thoughtful look crossing his face. Seeming to be satisfied with whatever he'd been thinking, he stood aside and ushered us in, "come on then." Picking Caspar and the bag up again I squeeze past his mass, holding Caspar away from him and walking into the warm house.

He leads us into a homely living room where an older man, I'm assuming is his father, sits in a wheelchair in front of an old TV, watching a baseball game. He turns off the TV and turns towards us upon seeing our sopping forms. The teen walks past us, into another room while I just stand shivering, eyeing the older man. "You want to speak with me ?"

"Are you B-Billy Black?" I ask, teeth chattering.

"That would be me, how do you know my name? I've not seen you around before." His son comes back into the living room before I can answer, a couple of large plush towels in his hand. He passes them to me, I murmur a thank you, putting Caspar down. Wrapping him in the largest towel I rub it over his hair and body, trying to get him as dry and warm as possible. He giggles cutely and pops his face out smiling shyly at me, I smile back ruefully, giving him a quick kiss on the nose before wrapping the other towel around my shoulder and picking him back up. "Markus told me your name. He told me you'd help me." I answer Billy's earlier question, eyes moving between him and his son.

" _Markus_?!" He asks sharply. Tension coils inside me as I see his son's posture straighten. "Where did you meet Markus?"

"He was in the same facility as me. He told me it was safe here and that you could help me get a house. I've got money so I can pay for it." I assure.

"Facility?" He questions shaking his head, confused.

"It doesn't matter." I say agitated. "Can you help me or not?" My voice is weary as I ask him, the long journey and stress taking a toll on me.

He looks at me, assessingly, his son leaning against the doorframe with his arms tightly crossed over his muscled chest. "Well I can't help you tonight, you'll have to wait until tomorrow morning," I start to protest but he holds up his hand to stop me. "If you've got nowhere to stay you and your boy can stay here, on the couch. Jake go and get the spare blankets and get them some of your old clothes, they're soaked through." Billy orders, wheeling himself out the room. " I'll see you in the morning, we'll go see a few houses that are available."

"What!? We don't even know her!" Jake argued following Billy out of the room.

Ignoring the heated discussion the two were having in another room I tentatively sit down on the edge of the longest couch, sitting Caspar in my lap. He looks up at me, sucking his thumb nervously. "See things are looking better already. We don't even have to sleep outside tonight. Then tomorrow we'll get our own house and I'll cook you any thing you want, you can even get your own room once we've settled in a little. We'll be safe." I tell him in a hushed voice, combing through his unruly curls with my fingers.

"Get pet?" He asks, tilting his head and giving me full on puppy eyes, making me laugh.

"Let's get a house first, then we'll see." He flashes me a bright smile, taking his thumb out of his mouth and wrapping his arms around me. Billy's son walks back in, a put upon look on his face as he thrusts a pile consisting of couple of folded blanket, a couple of large t-shirts and a pair of shorts at me. Shifting Caspar a little I take the pile and mutter my thanks, conscious of that fact that the teen was eyeing Caspar.

"What's his name?" He asks after a long pause.

The toddler in question peeks at the seemingly giant boy "I'm Casparw." He replied, sticking his thumb back into his mouth.

"Right. I'm Jake -Jacob. So... what's yours?" He directs at me awkwardly.

"Mama Moth." My toddler answers for me.

"Moth?" He asks incredulous. We both nod. "What kind of name is Moth?" Shaking his head he continues without me answering. "Anyway, I'm going to bed now. You'd better not steal anything and run off 'cause trust, me I'll be able to find you, and I'll send you packing back to wherever you came from, we clear?"

"I'm not a thief." I grit out.

"Yeah well, I don't know that do I? Just remember what I've said. Night little man." He walks back out the room, turning off lights as he goes.

"Scarwy." Caspar whimpers as the room goes dark.

"It's okay baby, mama's here and she's not going to let anything scary hurt you, okay? Let's get you changed and in bed. Arms up." He obediently raises his arms and I pull off his t-shirt, tickling his sides before taking off his pants and pulling on what looked like a woman's t-shirt that pooled at his feet like a dress.

Standing I remove the back cushions from the couch to create some more room and arrange the small square pillows at the arm, laying one of the blankets down. "Come on now, into bed." He hops up and snuggles into the couch, closest to the back. I lay the other blanket over him before quickly stripping out of my own, now damp, clothes and slip into the large t-shirt and shorts, drawing in and tying the strings so they wouldn't fall off during the night, then I lay our discarded clothes over the heater.

Casper rolls over towards me as I slip under the blanket and snuggles into me. "Night, night mama." He mumbles, half asleep. I pull the blankets higher and curl around the sleeping toddler. "Goodnight baby, sweet dreams."

 _Tomorrow we'll get our house and we'll finally be safe._

That night I dreamt of walking down a beach, Caspar laughing loudly as he runs ahead after a huge, fluffy dog and a deep voice calling my name.


	2. Morning

**.2.**

 _"Caspar! Don't go too far!"_

 _"Okay mama!" He calls back running down the beach, trying to get a kite to fly higher and higher into the clear, blue sky._

 _I turn, looking out over the ocean, enjoying the warm sun on my face. The gentle breeze in my hair tickling as the strands brush against my bare arms. My toes in the sand and the soft sounds of the waves lapping at the shores, soothing me further._

 _This is what we've been looking for. This is our home._

 _"Moth." A deep male voice calls. I don't recognise the low timbre but I feel a warmth settle in my chest as I turn toward him._

 _A large man with beautiful russet skin is lying back on a blanket under the shade of the trees._

 _I trail my eyes up his muscular body. Taking in his strong legs, exposed by his blue cut-offs. His chiselled abs and broad chest, huge arms folded behind his head. I couldn't make out what his face looked like, but I could see his eyes._

 _They burn a trail down my body, as mine trailed up his. From my pale hair that falls in waves down to my waist, my pale shoulders exposed in the little summer dress I'm wearing and my toned legs exposed at the knee. All the way down to my sandy feet._

 _His eyes snap up to mine. The dark brown burning into my odd pair._

 _"come here," he rumbles._

 _He desires me._

 _And for once I don't feel the fear of having a powerful man want me._

 _For once I feel free to want this man and my own need for him ignite._

 _Holding his gaze I take a step towards him._

 _I'm jerked out of my trance when a large, rough hand grabs my arm and snaps a large silver cuff around my wrist, jerking me towards the man that haunts me._

 _"You'll never be free bitch," he hisses at me. I claw at his hand trying to break his hold but he just laughs, putting his face so close to mine that I could feel the damp warmth of his foul smelling breath roll across my cheeks, "you're mine."_

 _He starts dragging me down the beach towards a group of men standing around black SUVs._

 _"No! No let me go!" I tear at his hand, digging my heels into the sand, wrenching agains his hold. I look towards the unknown man for help but he's gone._

 _I try to shift but the cuff works as well as it always has._

 _"Mama!" My Baby screams running towards me, wanting to help. A giant dog runs ahead of him._

 _"Caspar! Run!" I cry, desperately craning my head to see him. "Run!"_

 _My captor throws an exasperated look toward the dog and my oncoming toddler then turns towards the group of men. "Kill the dog and the boy. They're no use to us." He throws me into the back of one of the cars, my head bangs against the door._

 _Getting up I go for the handle but it won't open._

 _I start pounding against the window but it won't break._

 _I watch horrified as the men circle around my boy, his hands clenched tightly in the fur of the big dog that towers over him, snarling, wickedly sharp fangs bared._

 _"No! Caspar runaway!" I slam against the window. "Please! Run! "_

 _The men take out their guns and aim, my baby looks at me, fear in those pale green eyes. "No Caspar, no." I cry._

 _"Mama"_

 _Gun shots ring out and my scream tears through the air._

I jerk awake, panting, sweat covering my body. I look around momentarily confused about my surroundings before the haze from the dream clears and I rembered where we are. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I reach my hand towards Cass, needing reassurance that he was safe. My hands hit the cold sofa cushions next to me.

Opening my eyes I hastily look for Caspar but he's not there.

A high pitched squeal comes from the next room.

I jump up and run through the room into a kitchen, before coming to an abrupt halt at the sight that greeted me.

The inhabitants of the room freeze at my sudden entrance.

A young, tanned skin boy with short black hair stares at me, wide-eyed, sitting at a little table with a heaving pile of bacon and eggs in front of him. His fork frozen right before his mouth, the egg on it sliding off and landing with a wet splat on the table in front of him.

Billy sat next him me watching curiously. His son, Jacob, leant back against the counter with my missing toddler squirming in his arms.

Jacob puts Caspar down and he immediately runs towards me and hugs my legs, looking up at me, puffing at a stray curl that falls into his eyes, my hand automatically pushes it away from his face before I pick him up into my arms. He snuggles into me and mutters a good morning agains my shoulder. I pull back a little so I could see his face. "Morning, did you sleep okay?" He nods, tilting his head up towards me to accept a good morning kiss before resting his head back agaisng my shoulder.

"He told us not to wake you so we were going to let you sleep while we made some breakfast." Jacob states, somewhat sensing what my previous tension was about.

"Thank you." I say softly.

He nods, scratching the back of his neck before gesturing to an empty seat at the table. "Sit down, I'll make you up a plate." He turns back towards the stove ladled with multiple pans of fried eggs and bacon sizzling away and scoops out four eggs and six bits of bacon, sliding them on a chipped white plate.

I sit down in the seat directly opposite the gawking teen with Caspar on my lap so he could reach the table. Jacob puts the plate in front of me before reaching over and slapping the younger teen on the back of the head. The teen yelps and halfheartedly glared at the taller teen. "Quit staring and eat your food," Jacob grouches before moving back to load up the other plates. The teen goes back to eating, throwing curious glances in my direction.

Ignoring him I reach for the pile of knives and forks on the table and cut up all the food on our plate then hand the fork to Caspar who eagerly digs in, scooping up a bit of egg and holding it up towards me. I eat the egg off the fork and he smiles at me, pleased, digging back into his food, offering me bites after every one he took.

"Nice boy you got there." Billy says, smiling at Caspar, who smiles back shyly.

"He doesn't really look like you. He looks pretty normal compared to-" The boy waves towards me before wincing when Billy slaps him on the back of the head. "Sorry," he mutters at me.

"No, he has my curls but I guess he takes mostly after his father." I shrug, ruffling said curls.

"Where is his dad?"

"Seth!" Billy and Jake scold.

"Sorry, I'm just curious. I'm Seth." He smiles at me.

"It's okay, I'm a stranger here so it's natural that you have questions. I'm Moth, and this little guy is Caspar."

Casper holds out three fingers towards the others "I'm fwee." The boys chuckle.

Seth holds up ten fingers then shows five, "I'm fifteen." He beams.

Caspar giggles, "old." Billy, Jacob and I protest to that which causes more giggles from the cheeky toddler.

"How old are you?" Seth asks.

"Eighteen." I see both Jacob and Billy eye me thoughtfully.

"But that means you had Caspar when you were fifteen." Seth states.

"Fourteen. Caspar's four in December."

"I'm big boy!" He puffs out his chest proudly.

I laugh and smooth down his hair, ignoring the shocked gazes of the people around the room. "Big boys eat all their food and don't talk with their mouth full." Caspar starts earnestly shovelling the food into his mouth, which causes the guys to laugh and the atmosphere lightens.

"Slowdown, or you'll choke." Scoffs Billy before turning to me. "There's a house a little way off the beach that I think you'll like. Remote enough for some privacy but not too remote."

"Thank you, that sounds wonderful."

"You have an unusual accent, where are you from?" Billy asks me.

"I was housed around the Nevada area but I was born on a small island. I was young when I was moved so I don't remember it very much, but I remember how fresh the air smelt. I picked up the accent from the people that I was raised with I guess." I reply.

"Cool! Is Las Vegas like it is in the movies ?" Seth asks excitedly.

"I don't know...I was pretty sheltered and didn't get out much." I say hesitantly.

"Really? Oh well, my mom can be pretty overbearing sometimes too but she's the best really and she's an awesome cook too! She makes the best meatloaf ever! You should come round to mine and I'll introduce you. I know she'd love Caspar, she loves kids and she's a nurse so if you're ever ill just com-"

"Seth!" Billy and Jacob groan.

"Sorry." Seth chuckles sheepishly.

Shaking his head Billy looks over to me. "Once you're dressed we'll head out and take a look at the house. Go take the little man and wash up, bathrooms just down the hall."

"Thank you." Putting Caspar down, I take his hand and we go and collect our dry, slightly stiff clothes and head to the aforementioned bathroom.

Ridding Caspar of the borrowed t-shirt, I hold him up so he can wash his face with some warm water in the sink. Once he's done I get some toothpaste on my finger and rub it over his teeth, trying to clean them as best I could, causing his face to scrunch up. "When we get our house I'll buy you some proper pyjamas and a toothbrush of your choice. Rinse." I lift him up to the sink so he can sip some cold water. Swishing it in his mouth, he tries to spit it out but most of it dribbles down his chin.

"Light up one?" He asks as I wipe his chin dry and pull on his clothes.

"If you want." I kiss his nose before pushing him towards the door. "Go and wait with the others while I get ready, I won't be long."

"Okay mama." He runs off excitedly, probably thinking about the toothbrush he wants to buy.

Taking a deep breath I strip and change quickly, then use my finger to brush my own teeth and splash some cold water over my face.

I sigh and lean against the sink, my odd eyes meeting the identical pair in the mirror above the sink.

I've looked unusual all my life, even compared to the people in the photos that my ward told me were the people of my village. I figured it was the whitecoats doing, seeing as I didn't even look like my carrier or like the donor described to me. My pale, scarred skin was nothing like the tanned, unblemished skin of my bearer. Her dark, mahogany hair to my moonlight locks. I did get one thing from her though.

My left eye.

It was the same deep, dark, almost black colour as hers. My right a sharply contrasting light blue.

I run my finger over the longest scar on my face, that ran in a straight line from my hairline on the right side of my face, down over my blue eye, down my cheek and ending just below my jaw. One of my only self inflicted scars. I had done it after _he_ had told me that the vivid shade of my light eye was what had caught his attention.

Cringing away from my reflection, and the memories etched into my skin, I shakily try to run my fingers through the knots in my hair, with no success. Giving up, I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom to meet the others, who were waiting for me by the front door.

"Huwwy up mama, go see house." Caspar whines impatiently.

I hurry to the couch and put the pillows back and fold the blankets, leaving them on the arm in a neat pile.

"You don't have to do that." Jacob says.

"It's the least I can do." I reply, grabbing my makeshift bag and walking towards the others, who start to leave the house.

"Wait, where are your shoes?" Seth asks me, pointing to my bare feet.

I look down at my toes and shrug. "I forgot to pack them."

Jacob and Seth give me odd looks as I walk past them after a giddy Caspar, who was running around outside. I breathe in the fresh morning air for a moment before turning back around to face the others.

"So where are we going?"

* * *

The house was perfect.

With a white, flaking, wooden exterior and a little wooden ramp that leads up onto a nice sized porch, where a two seater porch swing hangs down from the right side, I was ready to hand the money over without even stepping foot inside.

"How much?" I ask, eyes riveted on the charming house.

Billy chuckles at my eagerness. "Wait until you see the inside first."

Caspar seemed to like what he could see more than I did, eyes firmly on the swing as he runs up the short ramp. "Mama look, swing!"

Seth runs after him, eagerly lifting him up onto the swing and pushing it for the giggling little boy while Jacob takes hold of his father's wheelchair and pushes him up the ramp. Once up, his father starts wheeling himself towards the front door, Jacob reaching over him to pull the screen door open, pulling out a set of keys from his cutoffs pockets to unlock the door, and holds it open for his dad, walking in after him.

Following in behind them we entered into an empty, spacious room with pale yellow walls and light wooden floors.

"Use to belong to Old Mary before she went to live with her daughter and left it to the community, been empty ever since. It's further away from town than most like, but I had a feeling you wouldn't mind the distance." He eyes me as I walk around the room, taking in the pleasant space. "It's one floor, two double bedrooms, one single. A good sized kitchen, decent bathroom, there's another porch out back and a clearing before the forest starts that Mary used as a garden. It will need some work if you want to grow anything. You'll need to buy some furniture, but the old stove's still here, we'll get someone to check it still works alright. All the plumbing works, heater works..." Billy lists off, leading me through the house. Caspar runs in squealing, Seth close on his heels, scooping him up and taking him out through to the back so they could continue to play, Jacob moving after them shaking his head but not hesitating to start playing along with Caspar's games, while Billy and I discuss details.

Coming to a halt on the back porch, I look out across the clearing, taking in the scents around me.

I could smell the forest and imagined shifting and running through it, trailing the scents of the animals that lived there and teaching Caspar to follow their tracks. The distant, salty smell of the ocean pulls my attention from the forest into the dream I'd had, my mind drifting to the handsome stranger that had briefly occupied it.

 _Who was he? I felt like he was important to me... and he looked at me as though I was his everything._

"So what do you think?" Billy asks. "I'll be honest with you, it's not the cheapest we've got to offer." He states, snapping my mind out of the dream and back into reality. I turn towards him and hold up the makeshift bag.

"We'll take it."


	3. Invitations

**.3.**

After the money had been settled I was still left with a bag full of cash, and since Billy told us we could move in immediately, I asked if they could take us into town to get some essentials and a bed.

Jacob and Seth said they wouldn't be busy until later and agreed to take me and Caspar shopping, so we made our way back to Billy's place, Caspar sitting on the old man's lap and telling him about all of his favourite things.

Once we get back to Billy's, Jacob and Seth go to get the car.

"Say thank you and bye, bye to Billy, Cass. He's not coming with us." Pouting, Caspar reaches up to hug the older man who hugs him in return, patting his back and saying, "you be good for your mother now, you hear? I'll see you soon." Caspar nods his assurance before hopping off his lap and walking over to me, waving at Billy.

"Bye bye Billy."

An old, beat up car comes rumbling out of what is presumably the garage as I pick Caspar up.

Seth jumps out of the passenger side as the car comes to a stop next to us, pulling forward the seat so Caspar and I could get in the back. Leaning into the car I sit Caspar behind Jacob, clicking his seatbelt in. He immediately starts fiddling with the strap that sits across his chest, unused to the feel of it. Before I get in myself I turn towards Billy.

"Thank you, you've helped me more than you can know." I say sincerely.

Billy nods his head in acknowledgment. "I meant what I said to Caspar, I'll be seeing you soon. The house needs a little work and me and some of the others will be around to make sure you're settling in. You're a member of our community now and we take care of own." Touched, never having received kindness like this before, I step forward and wrap my arms around the old man, who hugs me back, surprised.

"Thank you. Come round whenever you want, you're always welcome. I'll cook you a nice dinner when we get settled."

He pats my back before I pull away holding on to his hand."I'll hold you to that, I only trust Jacob with eggs and bacon."

"Hey!" Jacob exclaims.

I chuckle and squeeze Billy's hand before letting him go and hopping into the car, Seth puts his seat back once I'm in and settles into his seat. Putting on my seat belt I pull Caspar's hands away from his own then turn back to look out the window, waving at Billy as Jacob pulls away from the house.

Seth turns in his seat to face me and Caspar, a friendly smile on his face. "So what do you want to get today?"

"I want to get a bed that me and Cass can share for now, some clothes, shoes and some other bits. I'll get anything else we'll need once we've settled in."

"And get my toothbwush." Casper reminds me.

"And get your toothbrush." I brush his hair back smiling at him. He smiles back before turning to Seth and starting to animatedly chat to the young teen, hands moving to punctuate his words, Jacob interjecting whenever he could get a word in. I smile and look away from the trio to watch the scenery as it passes by my window.

I felt strange.

Our lives had already changed so drastically since we had left. Everything was going so well that it made me uneasy.

 _It can't be this easy. Everything is going too smoothly. It doesn't feel real._

Shaking the negative from my mind I force myself to think about the task at hand.

 _Stop brooding. We've got a house to fill._

* * *

I hate shopping.

By the time Jacob and Seth had dropped us back at our new house with our mass of purchases and I had finally managed to wave them off, with assurances that I was perfectly capable of assembling a flat-packed bed frame, I was exhausted.

Physically, from trecking up and down the shops, carrying a nervous, tired toddler who didn't want anyone but his mama to comfort him, along with bags and bags full of everything I deemed essential.

Emotionally, from the stress of the whole ordeal.

I was unused to being around so many people, only having interacted with a select few for most of my life, and I was very aware that anyone from the facility could be around or following us. My nerves made it worse for Casper who had interacted even less with people than me, so being around so many people at once had overwhelmed him. He refused to leave my arms, clinging tightly to me the whole time, his face only leaving the nestle of the space where my neck met my shoulder to point out the things he wanted between items Seth held up for him to see, his thumb stuck firmly in his mouth the whole time. His free hand had tightened particularly painfully in my hair when an old lady had tried to get him to show her his face whilst we were waiting in the que to pay for our things.

I knew this was something we would have to work through, both having been largely isolated for the majority of our lives. I wanted him to have a safe, happy life, I'd left so he wouldn't have to be afraid anymore and could have a childhood like the children from Markus's stories.

Determined, I turn towards my anxious son. "Caspar." The toddler turns towards me, thumb still in place. Crouching down I balance on the balls of my feet, forearms resting on my knees. "Can you help mama with something very important?"

"Imporwtant?" He questions, speech muffled by his thumb.

"Yeah, mama can't do it alone. I need a big boy to help me."

"I'll help! I'll help!" Finally his thumb leaves his mouth as he grabs hold of my forearms, hopping up and down excitedly.

I smile at him afectionately. "Good boy. Now, help mama move this box into the other room." We start dragging the box down the hall into the largest bedroom. I feign struggling with the weight to make Caspar feel helpful as we haul it over to the wall next to the big window.

"What we do now?" He asks, peering up at me with large, apple-green eyes.

"First, we get this box open." I hold up my right index finger as the usually short nail lengthens and sharpens into a claw and I slice it down the box, making Caspar laugh. He loves it when I shift. "Then we get to work."

... ... ... ... ...

Hours later we fall back onto the newly constructed bed, burrowing down under the covers, half asleep. Me in a large t-shirt that fell just above my knees and my new boy-shorts, Caspar in his new set of teddy bear pyjamas.

Who knew that instructions could be so confusing?

Between assembling the damn thing and helping Caspar manuver the corner of the duvet into the sheet, I was ready to call it a day. Luckily we had eaten whilst we were out, because I dreaded the thought of doing anything other than going to sleep. Caspar seemingly agreeing with me, rolls over and snuggles into my side, already half asleep. "Love you mama." He murmurs against my arm.

"I love you too baby." I kiss the top of his head and pull the blankets tightly around us.

A brief thought about the handsome stranger from my dream passes through my mind, and I wonder if I would see him again tonight before drifting off completely.

* * *

I had thought my first night in my new house in the outside would be celebrated with a nice lay in and a lazy morning. I couldn't have been more wrong.

After being abruptly awoken by an incessant knocking at the door, which I'm guessing was Seths doing judging by the sheepish look on his face, I had reluctantly left my warm bed, being careful not to wake Caspar, and made my way down to the front door, cracking it open a little before opening it wider after being greeted with the newly familiar faces of Jacob and Billy Black, the perpetually cheerful Seth and a couple of new people behind them. Both around the same age as Jacob, both as built as Jacob and both staring openly at me.

Seth beams upon seeing me. "Morning Moth!"

"Morning." I mutter back, eyeing the gawking teenagers.

"Came to see what needs doing to the place. This is Jared and Embry, don't worry 'bout them, they're here to help out. Oh," he jerks his thumb towards a truck with a bed full of stuff, "l brought some stuff you need that people had spare, no point in you wasting your money when we got stuff to go around." He starts wheeling himself into the house and I step aside, holding the door open, speechless and unsure about how to convey how grateful I was. He squeezes my hand as he passes me, understanding what I couldn't express. "Now. Where's that boy of yours? I'll need someone to help me order around the goon squad." Billy jokes.

"Billy!" The toddler in question spueals, charging towards the old man, arms outstretched, dark curls tousled from his sleep.

Turning away from the two I focus on the unfamiliar teens, who were watching the pair greet with curious eyes. "Do you want to come in?" The two startle at my voice, nodding and murmuring their thanks as they walk past me, into the house.

Billy hands off my excited toddler to Seth and Jacob, who start arguing over who got to hold him first, then turns to me and motions towards the unpacked pile of shopping bags. "Get everything you need?"

"For now. I'll need to go food shopping though and get a fridge and sort the stove out." I reply, rummaging through the bags, taking out a pair of grey joggers and slipping them on.

"We've got a fridge freezer with us and some other bits too. The boys are here to check the cooker and do all the heavy lifting. You get the bed set up okay?"

"I did it!" Caspar replies, wriggling in Seths arms to be let down before taking his and Jacob's hand, leading them out through the room to the bedroom to show off his work. "I made it with mama." Billy praises the toddler as he follows along.

I was left alone in the front room with the two teenagers, my eyes flicking between them, nervous about their awkward silence.

The taller, older looking of the two seemed to take it upon himself to break the tense silence and steps towards me, extending his hand out for me to take "Hey, I'm Jared, this is Embry." He nods his head in the others direction as we shake hands. Embry raises his hand in an awkward greeting and I raise mine in return, nodding in acknowledgment. "Do you want to show me to the kitchen and I'll take a look at the stove while the others bring everything in from the truck."

"Oh, yeah sure. It's right through here." I lead Jared to the kitchen while Embry goes to find the others. I show Jared to the stove and he immediately starts checking it over, waving me off when I thank him, so I leave him to it and go to find Caspar and the others.

"Caspar, come and get dressed." I call out, finding the group out front by the truck, Caspar sitting on Seths shoulders while Jacob and Embry remove the furniture from the truck bed. Seth puts Caspar down and he runs towards me, taking my outstretched hand,

"T-wex shirwt?" He asks, looking up at me.

"Sure Baby, go find it." He runs off towards the bags. I turn back towards the others. "Do you guys want any help?"

"No, you go see to the little man, we've got this sorted." Jacob calls back.

"If you're sure?" I ask, pausing in the doorway.

"Yeah, we've got this handled, don't have these babies for nothing!" Seth jokes flexing his biseps, causing everyone to laugh and earning a couple of shoves of the other teens.

Leaving the guys to their antics I go and help Caspar get dressed for the day.

... ... ... ... ...

"You should come to Sam's tonight!" Seth announces excitedly.

After spending the morning moving furniture in, my house now boasted a working stove, a fridge freezer, a set of drawers, a wardrobe and a two seater couch, Billy and I had taken note of the rest of the furniture I'd need to buy, he told me he'd keep an eye out for anything else becoming available.

We were now sat in a circle on the living room floor, eating some lunch Jacob had gone and picked up from town.

"Who's Sam?" Caspar aks with a mouth full of chicken nuggets and a handful of fries.

"Caspar." I lightly scold.

He swallows his mouthful before flashing me the puppy dog eyes, "sowwy mama." Billy laughs at his tactics.

"He's our friend, we go round to his a lot. His fiancé Emily is a great cook. You should come for dinner and meet the rest of the guys! Jared's impr- er - girlfriend Kim will be there too !" Seth answers Caspar's earlier question animatedly as I look over at Jared who's eyes had become soft at the mention of his girlfriend.

"I'm not sure, they don't even know us. I don't think they'd be happy if some strangers turn up out of the blue and eat their food." I say feeling uncertain.

"It'll be fine! I already told them all about you and Caspar, and Emily always cooks a ton of food, there'll be plenty for you both."

"Unless you eat as much as Paul." Snorts Jared, causing the rest of the guys to chuckle.

"That might be a good idea, you can meet the rest of the guys and Emily's great with children, Caspar will love her. Besides, you could use some friends, you can't stay by yourselves all of the time." Billy says, eyeing me pointedly. I meet his gaze, still unsure about just turning up at a strangers house for dinner.

"I'm going there after we leave here, I'll let them know you're coming if that makes you feel better." Embry says gently as the rest of the guys start clearing away the wrappers from lunch and preparing to leave.

"I don't know, it's still pretty sudden to just spring on someone." I twist the hem of my t-shirt nervously.

"Stop worrying, everyone wants to meet you and Caspar anyway. The way Seth and Jacob were talking about you has got everyone curious." Jared tells me as we make our way out onto the front porch, Caspar in my arms resting on my hip and the guys making their way down to the truck, Jacob, Embry and Seth jumping in the empty bed.

"That's reassuring." I grump.

"Enough of that now, you're going to Sam's tonight and that's that." Billy says sternly, lifting himself into the passenger seat, Jared getting into the driver side.

"Fine. I'll think about it. Thanks for all the help today. I really appreciate it."

"Stubborn." Billy mutters shaking his head. "I'll tell you what. You can thank me by going to Sam's tonight and meeting everyone." He rattles off their house number and some directions. I narrow my eyes at him and he flashes an unapologetic grin. "Say hi to everyone for me."

Jared starts the truck and starts pulling away from the house.

"See you later guys! " Seth calls out. Caspar shouts goodbyes and we wave until they're gone from view.

I look down at Caspar who starts playing with a long strand of my hair.

"Well baby, looks like we're going out tonight." I mutter. "Shall we make them something to say thank you for having us to dinner?" Caspar nods, giggling excitedly as I walk us into the house to get ready.

 _Well at least one of us is excited._


	4. Rough night

**.4.**

Standing outside the small house I felt about ready to turn back and go home.

Stood at the front door with my nervous toddler in one arm and the slightly scalding heat of a freshly baked apple pie resting in it's tin in the other, I was now stuck with the dilemma of having no free hands to knock with. I felt a strong urge to just back off the little step and quietly go back down the path and make my way home, the boisterous sounds of rowdy males coming from inside the tiny house only feeding that urge.

 _You need to do this for Caspar, he can't stay scared like this forever and neither can you._

Steeling myself, I lift my foot to knock with, but just as I do the door swings open, leaving me frozen with my foot in the air. Seth stands in the doorway, gaping at the sight of me.

"Err. What are you doing?" He asks, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

My face heats up in embarrassment. "I was trying to knock. My hands are full so.." I drift off with a shrug, planting my foot back down on the ground.

Seth starts laughing, reaching for the pie tin in my hand. "What's this?" He asks, popping the tin open before I answer "Apple pie! awesome! Did you make this?"

"Caspar helped." I nod, shuffling Caspar into a more comfortable position in my arms. He peeks his face out from against my shoulder at Seth, thumb in mouth, still too nervous to act his usual cheerful self.

"You made this Cass? That's awesome! Oh, come in! Everyone's really excited to meet you." He gestures for us to follow him into the cosy house, leading us through into an open kitchen dining room with a dining table, piled with covered dishes and plates, that took up most of the space. He brings us towards a pretty, native woman who smiles brightly at the sight of us, making her way from the pan covered stove towards us. "Emily, Moth brought pie!" Seth exclaims, excitedly handing the tin over to Emily, who peers inside, smiling wider.

"Thank you, this looks delicious." She says with a kind voice that matches her bright smile.

With her smooth, russet skin tone, long, dark hair plaited into a thick rope that rested over her shoulder, laugh lines from smiling so much creasing around her dark eyes and claw marks that raked down one side of her face, Emily exuded a warm and welcoming aura.

"I'm Emily, it's so nice to meet you Moth. Seth hasn't stopped talking about you since yesterday." She moves to give me a firm hug. I shift Caspar to my hip to return the hug without him being squished between us. "This must be Caspar." She looks down at my three year old. "Well aren't you just the sweetest thing, just look at those eyes!" She smiles at him. Caspar buries his face into my shoulder shyly, causing Emily to chuckle.

"Are you shy Caspar!?" Seth asks, taking him from my arms and twirling him, squealing and giggling, around the room.

"What's going on in here?" An intimidating man asks, walking into the room over to Emily and I. Wrapping his arm around Emily's waist, he turns his eyes towards me, assessing.

"Moth, this is my fiancé Sam, Sam this is Moth." Emily introduces us, tucking herself against his side.

"Nice to put a face to the name, Seth hasn't stopped talking about you and your son. I thought he was exaggerating but you really look exactly as he described." He extends his hand to me, the other tightening around Emily's waist, holding her so that he was standing firmly between us.

"I hope that's a good thing." I smile back lightly, placing my hand in his.

His grip is hard as his sharp, brown eyes meet my odd ones, warning. I tighten my own grip in turn, smile dropping from my face as I meet his gaze head on with my own hard look, suppressing the growl rising up in my chest.

I understood why he may be suspicious of me, a stranger turning up out of nowhere, with an unknown past and nothing on her but a tied blanket full of money and a kid, but I would not tolerate someone trying to intimidate me.

Especially with my son staring wide-eyed at us.

Seth had stopped spinning around upon sensing the tension in the room, looking between Sam and I nervously.

The house goes silent.

From the corner of my eye I see a group of strongly built men standing in the kitchen doorway, watching the stand-off that was happening between the two of us, but I don't look away from Sam.

Caspar wiggles firmly out of Seth's tightening hold. Dropping to the floor he runs towards me, tears building in his eyes. "Leave mama alone!" He grabs hold of Sam's wrist. Sam quickly jerks his large hand away, the force of the movement causing Casper to fall over, landing with a thud on the tiled floor.

Everyone freezes, all eyes on the fallen toddler.

I'm shocked. _How_ _did it get to this?_

Caspar's face scrunches up, turning bright red as he releases a loud wail, shattering the heavy silence in the room. Sam and the other people in the room move towards Caspar and I snarl at them, warning them to stay back, jolting them to a wide-eyed stop.

I crouch down and pick up my hurting child, bringing him into my arms, carefully feeling the back of his head for any bumps. He cries loudly as I stand, murmuring soothing words and running a hand up and down his back, trying to calm him.

Emily glares at the shocked group and her intended as she steps towards me. "Moth I'm so sorry. He didn't hit his head did he?" I take a step back, easing my way towards the door, wincing at the hurt in her eyes.

"I don't think so, but I'm going to take him home. I think he's had enough for tonight." I say, not missing the disappointment on her face.

 _I'm more tense than I thought, acting like that with Sam, he's only looking out for the people he cares about._

"Oh please don't go, don't worry about Sam, he's just protective." She urges me.

"No, I really think I should go. Err- thank you for having me." I turn and rush out of the house, ignoring the calls behind me as I run into the night, Caspar clinging tightly to me.

 _I've messed up. Billy wanted me to make friends and this happens. What if we have to leave ? Billy said it was a tight knit community, they won't want me causing trouble._

Wanting to get home faster I fish the keys out of the pocket of my dark-blue jeans and hold them in the hand I was using to hold Casper to me. Then, feeling a quick flicker of remorse for the new, soft, red sweater I was wearing, I let the shift roll over me. As my clothes give way to thick, white fur, I feel Caspar relax, soothed by the softness under his body and the firm feel of my muscles propelling us faster.

I speed up.

Slightly inhibited by using one arm to hold Caspar to me, I eat up the distance, enjoying the feel of the forest racing past me, using the run to work out the tension I had been feeling most of the evening.

Entering the clearing to our house, I shift back and make my way across the space and up our front porch. Walking naked to the door I jolt to a stop.

The front door's open.

Silently walking back down the ramp, I crouch down against the side of the porch. Spotting a small hole where an animal had dug under the porch, I put Casper down, holding a finger to my lips, signalling for him to stay quiet. "Casper I need you to do something very important for mama." I whisper. He nods and sticks his thumb in his mouth nervously. "I need you to wait in there while I go and look for something. I promise I'll be right back and I'll cook you anything you want for dinner. Just wait right here. I need you to stay quiet and if I tell you to run, you run and find somewhere to hide, away from the house. Okay?" I look sternly at him, showing him that I'm serious. He swallows anxiously before nodding slowly.

"Good boy." I kiss him quickly on the forehead and hug him tightly before getting up and moving back up the porch, carefully pushing open the doors and peering into the sparse room.

It was empty.

I step into the house, crouched slightly, eyes and ears straining to pick up any sign of intruders. I hear a rustling sound coming from my bedroom and I cautiously creep towards it. Coming to the open doorway I move to see the source of the noise. A hunched form rummaging through our new dresser draws comes into view. The figure grunts, throwing clothes everywhere, seemingly not finding whatever it was looking for. Not recognising the person from what I could see of their back I shift my senses, taking a deep breath, testing their scent.

An uncontrollable gag heaves is way out of my throat.

The person in front of me spins around hissing threateningly. Blood red eyes meeting mine and my blood freezes in my veins.

 _They sent vampires after us._

"Run!" I shout, hearing the startled scuffle followed by the clumsy footfalls of my frightened, retreating toddler.

The vampire smirks, flashing it's fangs. "I love it when they run. Makes it so much more fun." It hisses then moves to flash past me, thinking it could move faster than I would react.

It was wrong.

Snarling, my hand darts out, snatching the foul smelling creature by the hair dragging it back to my face, slamming the bedroom door closed. My own fangs slide down my jaw, my skin rippling with my imminent shift. "You want fun?" My voice rumbles with the beast so close to the surface, the danger of the situation drawing on the vampire as it starts clawing at my iron grip. "Then let's play bitch."

My shift explodes out of me, revealing the monster that lurks beneath my skin.


	5. Sick

**.5.**

Finding a three year old at night in a forest with an injured leg and a dislocated shoulder was easier than it should have been.

I didn't know whether to laugh or scold him when I limped the short distance to his chosen hiding place, easily identified by his feet sticking out the end of the hollowed log.

Standing there, wind wipping my hair around my face with my arm hanging limp and favouring my right leg in a thigh length t-shirt and shorts, just having torn a vampire to pieces, I couldn't help but smile. No matter what happens Caspar never fails to make me want to laugh, even unintentionally.

"I can see your feet Caspar."

He startles before struggling back out of his chosen sanctuary, emerging covered in foliage and smeared in mud. A sore looking scrape runs across his right cheek and I spot a matching set on his hands as he runs towards me, arms out stretched. I bend at the waist to pick him up, wincing at the pain when my shoulder is jostled as he clings tightly to me, sniffling. "Everything's okay baby, mama's here." I sooth, crossing the short distance back into the house. "You're fine, I've got you."

"Mama hurwt." He cries against my shoulder, his arms tightening around my neck.

"I'm okay baby, just a little sore. I'll be all better soon." I reassure him. "Now, how did you get all scraped up like this?" I ask as I place him down on the kitchen counter, looking over the scrapes on his hands, making sure there was nothing imbedded in his palms before turning on the taps and running his hands under the warm water, then wetting a cloth and gently cleaning the scrape on his cheek.

"I twipped over a wock." Getting the first aid kit out of the cupboard as he tells me all about his battle to get to the hollowed log, I get the Disney plasters out, using my teeth and usable hand to get the wrappers off and stick them over the scapes on his hands, kissing each palm and his cheek before placing him back on the ground. "There, All better." I ruffle his hair. "Mama's just going to clean up some mess, so why don't you go do that dinosaur colouring book we bought yesterday, and I'll make us something to eat when I'm finished."

"Okay." He beams, then runs off into the living room to do his colouring on the couch.

 _Okay to do list. Pop shoulder back in, bandage leg, put dinner on, dispose of vampire body pieces, clean bedroom, have dinner, get Caspar ready for bed, read with Caspar, Sleep. Easy._

Sighing, I take a couple of rolls of bandage out of the kit, putting the smaller roll between my teeth.

 _Right. First things first, let's get this back where it's suppose to be._

The bandage muffles my whimper as I snap my shoulder back into place.

* * *

"Mama, someone at doorw."

Lifting my head up, I crack my eyes open to see Casper standing next to the bed, the tanned skin on his face marred by the scrape, that had scabbed over nicely. "Tell them I'm asleep." I grumble rolling over and burying my face back into my pillow.

I hadn't slept much last night. After a long deliberation on what to do with the vampire I had collected the pieces into a trash bag, sitting in on the back porch while I cleaned the rest of the mess and got Caspar fed and ready for bed. I had read to him until he fell asleep before quietly getting up and making my way out of the room. I limped out of the house, grabbed the bag and made my way down to the beach. Dropping the bag onto the sand, I carefully stripped out of my clothes, throwing them into a pile of to the side. Picking the bag back up, I walk into the sea and make my way out, swimming carefully out past the tide and further out before diving, looking for a place to anchor the bag. After a few attempts I found a huge rock, it took all the strength I had left to roll it, one armed, over the bag. Making sure it was secure I resurfaced and swam back to the shore, limped back down the beach picking up my clothes as I passed. Getting home, I'd showered, groaning as the hot water flowed over my cold, trembling body. After washing I checked over my injuries. Other than my shoulder and leg, my the others were minor cuts and bruises though the bites scattered over my arm and ribs would be hell as my body flushed the poison from my system. After I finished I went straight to bed, curling around a deeply sleeping Caspar. I had lain awake most of the night, just watching him. Startling at any sounds that came from the forest, ears straining to hear if it was someone else coming to hurt us.

I must of drifted off eventually though, because the next thing I know, my very much awake toddler is poking me in the face, head haloed by the morning light streaming through my bedroom window.

"Mama." Casper giggles, climbing up and over me and flopping down next to me, green eyes sparkling as he looks into my bleary odd ones. "Mama. Wake up time." He says with his best stern voice.

"You're so bossy." I laugh, moving to tickle him, blowing raspberries against his neck and cheek, earning high pitch giggles from the squirming toddler.

We play for a moment, before load knocking interrupts.

"Moth! Don't ignore us!" The familiar voice of Seth calls out.

Groaning, I sit us up, rubbing my eyes as Caspar pushes my hair from my face. "Fine. Fine ! I'm up, I'm up! You, young man, can go wash and your face, go on."I kiss him on the cheek before he runs off obediently. Getting up, I moan at the ache in my healing body as I make my way towards the door.

Swinging it open, I glare halfheartedly at a shocked looking Seth. Jacob and Embry standing behind him. "I was trying to sleep." I step aside and wave them in. "You guys having breakfast with us?" I ask.

In reply Jacob holds up a brown paper bag. "We brought some food from the diner in town, it's our peace offering." The guys walk into the sparce living room and remove the cushions from the couch, placing them in a circle on the floor, and flop down onto them. They start taking the food out into the middle, Seth turning to me with a frown on his face as I follow after them.

"What happened? You're limping" he asks concerned.

"I tripped." The trio eye me disbelievingly. "Caspar! Seth, Jacob and Embry are here ! They've brought breakfast!" I call. The rapid thudding of little feet makes the guys chuckle before a wet faced Casper runs into the room.

"What happened to your face Cass?" Seth asks, brows drawing down.

"I twipped." Seth throws up his hand in exasperation. I laugh, moving towards Caspar to wipe his face dry with the bottom of my t-shirt before letting him run off to take a seat, while I limp to the kitchen to grab some plates. Caspar is sat comfortably between Jacob and Seth when I come back, chatting amicably. Putting the plates down, I slowly lower myself down onto a cushion, the guys watch carefully, heavy frowns on their faces.

I pick gingerly at my food, my stomach not up for eating, as everyone digs into their own food, Caspar piling Seths plate, giggling as he eagerly scoffing everything down and points to the food he wanted Caspar to grab for him next.

"Emily will probably come around later, she was really upset about what happened last night." Jacob says when we're all finished. "Sam will be in the dog house for a while." He adds making Seth snort.

I start collecting the leftover trash, straining to push myself up, Embry moves to help me seeing my struggle. I mutter a thanks before moving off to take the plates and trash into the kitchen. "She doesn't have to, I'm not upset. I'm going into town to pick up some more things anyway." I say getting a piece of paper and pen to note down what I needed, rubbing my shoulder to massage out the ache.

"Mama, help me get dwessed please." Caspar calls.

"I'll help him." Jacob says, "I don't think you should go out. You should rest today, you look like hell." He walks off towards the bedroom with Caspar to help him dress.

"Thanks." I mutter back.

"You know what he means. What happened last night? I mean you were upset when you left but not all beaten up like this, and Caspar's scraped up. So what happened?" Seth questions.

"Nothing." I sigh, rubbing my temple. The venom reeking havoc on my body. I felt feverish and sick and like I wanted to sleep for a long, long time.

"It's not no-"

A loud growl rumbled through the house.

We turn towards the bedroom as Jacob comes storming down the hall, with a very shocked looking Casper in one arm. He storms up to me grabbing me by my bad arm and dragging me out of the house. I limp as best I can, trying to match his urgent pace and ease the strain on my aching shoulder.

"What the hell Jake!? Let her go, she's hurt!" Seth calls, him and Embry following the angry teen.

Not able to keep up with his fast pace, my leg gives out and I trip, Jacob's firm grip on my arm and the pull of my body yanking my shoulder out again as I hit the ground with a pained yelp, dragged for a second before Jacob registers what happened.

"Moth!" Seth and Embry rush to me as I lay groaning on the grass.

"Get her up, we need to get them to Sam's" Jake orders turning back and putting Caspar into his car. Seth and Embry try to help me up but my leg won't hold me and they couldn't support me properly with my shoulder. Jacob doubles back, scoops me up and sits me in the back next to Caspar, turning back getting in the drivers seat, slamming his door shut and starting the car. Embry jumps in the back with us and Seth hops in front, Jacob speeding off as soon as his door closes.

"What's going on Jake!?" Seth questions Jacob, who drives us furiously through the Rez.

Casper snuggles close to me nervously as I murmur calming words trying to settle him. I'm sweating, the mix of my agrivated injuries and venom fever leaving me hazy, black spots blooming in my vision.

"She's burning up." Embry says worriedly to the others. Jacob looks at in the car mirror sharply, swearing at the sight of me and speeds up.

"I'm scarwed." Casper whimpers.

"It's okay." I whisper, black spots growing more and more, "we're oka-" my words drift and my head lolls, not having the energy to even hold it up anymore. My head throbs in time with my erratic heartbeat.

"She's gonna pass out!" Embry shouts turning to hold my head up.

"Keep her awake!" Jacob shouts, Embry shakes me gently.

"Mama" Caspar cries.

"'Sokay." I slur.

A cry rips out of my throat as the car jolts as it flies over a dip in the unpathed roads, causing pain to shoot through my body.

I lose consciousness to the sound of Jacob shouting out a resounding,

"Fuck!"


	6. Fever dreams

**.6.**

 _"The procedure was a success, the cells have begun to multiply."_

 _"Excellent work. Specimen Alpha will be put on close monitoring for the next nine months. We do not want a repeat of the Beta incident. If there are any signs of abnormalities terminate immediately."_

 _I lay on the cold examination table, The whitecoats words echoing through my mind, 'the cells have begun multiplying'_

 _I'm pregnant._

 _My hand moves to rest on my flat abdomen._

 _I'm going to have a baby._

~oOo~

 _"You're really getting big." Markus states. We were sat at the far end of the grounds, away from the aggressive betas and dazed omegas, leaning against the wall of the enclosed area._

 _"Thanks." Rubbing a hand over my large belly, I feel my baby kick against my palm. "I am cooking a little person in here you know."_

 _"Doesn't look so little to me." The old man mutters. "Have they told you what you're having ?"_

 _"An alpha to outshine all alphas." I say grandly._

 _"There is no greater specimen than Alpha Specimen Moth, the pride and joy of this facility." Markus mocks the Black Ties. I snort at his impression._

 _"I'm having a boy."_

 _"A son huh? Bet they're happy." I don't reply, not wanting to think what will happen once the baby's born, not even sure what would happen. Markus watches me sympathetically, reaching over to squeeze my hand comfortingly. "How are you feeling anyway?"_

 _"I'm exhausted." I reply honestly, resting my head against the hard bricks behind us. "Can you tell me your legends again? He likes listening to you tell them, settles right down." Markus's eyes soften before he flops down onto the ground resting his hands behind his head and begins telling me the stories I'd heard a hundred times before._

 _I close my eyes, soaking in the peacefullness of these moments, the baby calm under my palms._

 _'Don't listen to what Markus said you keep growing, I'll roll around if I have to. Just be healthy. Be strong like Markus's wolves.'_

~oOo~

 _My screams echo through the facility._

 _Laid out on an examination table with the whitecoats moving hastily around me, I felt like my abdomen was being ripped apart. My lower half soaked in blood, more pooling on the table surface between my legs._

 _I was in labour and there was no stopping it._

 _They'd induced me, not happy with the effects my pregnancy were having on my body, not wanting to risk what happend to the Beta happening to me._

 _He was comming too early._

 _Two months too early._

 _I couldn't stop the tears. I knew my baby was going to die._

 _The whitecoats wouldn't keep what they deemed a failure alive._

 _The thought made me cry harder._

 _The whitecoats worked frantically, preparing me for surgery._

 _They're going to cut him out._

 _I cry out as another contraction starts, my body bowing off the bed._

 _"We're ready."_

 _"No no no no no no no." I chant desperately. One of the whitecoats look at me sympathetically. "He's not ready. He needs to stay in there and get stronger. Please! He's not ready." I cry._

 _"The specimen is going into shock, prepare sedative."_

 _"No. Please, my baby. Please." I'm sobbing now, my breath jarring haltingly in my chest, the fate of my son and the pain crushing me._

 _They wheel me into an operating room, a table with the surgeons knives is placed next to me. "Injecting sedative into specimen now."_

 _"No!" I wail, I try and get up. They grab me, strapping my limbs down so I can't run. I start screaming, thrashing against the restraints. They just watch as the struggle gradually stops._

 _My limbs feel like they're made of lead as the sedative starts to pull me under. I try and force my eyes to stay open but I can't, I know in my heart there's nothing I can do but still I fight to keep my eyes open._

 _Rolling my head to look at the person who had looked at me with sympathy, knowing the others wouldn't care enough to stop and listen I move my hand to show that I want her to come closer. She darts a quick look between the other White Coats before moving hesitantly towards me._

 _"His name is Caspar." I manage to whisper to her, " C.a.s.p.a.r." I need someone to know him. For him not to be just another one of their failures. He's my son and I need at least one of them to know that. She nods in understanding, a pained look in her eyes._

 _Then darkness envelopes me._

 _~oOo~_

I feel like hell

My body hollow and weak, the fever burning away my strength.

Soft rapidly changing voices fill the room.

Slowly turning my pounding head I see a large man sitting on a couch across from me, remote in hand flicking furiously through channels, a frustrated look on his handsome face. I try and focus properly on his features but the haze of my fever makes it impossible and I let my head roll back, huffing in frustration.

The man's gaze snaps to me, quickly turning the TV off he gets up and moves towards me, kneeling down to the side of me.

He says something to me but I can't focus enough to make out what he's saying, I feel heavy, like I'm going to lose consciousness again. He taps my face to try and get my attention. Frowning I turn back towards him, cracking my eyes open to peer as best I could at him. His mouth opens to say something before he freezes, eyes locked on mine as he lets out a shuddering breath, his body trembling violently.

He looks like his whole world just got turned upside down.

I move my hand and shakily brush my fingers through his hair, like I do with Caspar when he's upset.

"S'okay." I whisper before I drift off again.

This time I dream of a huge, dark-silver wolf watching over me as I sleep.


	7. Wake up

**.7.**

 _I watch, floating above myself as I lay sedated on the operating table. My tiny baby lay forgotten and struggling for life on a table pushed off to the side of the room, the White Coats not sparing him so much as a glance as they work to save their precious, deteriorating Alpha Specimen._

 _I could hear the wet gurgling of his breath as he fought for life._

 _Watching as the people in the room ignore his desperate plight I feel fury start to build in my chest. The room starts to shake, a loud rumbling sound echoing around the white walls._

 _I hover closer, parallel to my unconcious body._ _My skin is ashen, a thin sheen of sweat covering it, the trauma on my young body too much. I was dying._

 _A monitor shreaks as my heart rate flatlines._

 _I'm enraged._

 _"Wake up." I snarl at myself. "He needs you. Get up."_

 _The white Coats rush to bare my chest, getting the defibrillators charged up._

 _"You need to move. Now."_

 _They press the charge into my chest, my body jolting violently._

 _"He's dying. Wake up."_

 _Nothing._

 _The rumbling noise gets louder, the shaking in the room becoming stronger and stronger._

 _My baby lets out a short cry as the White Coats move to shock my heart back to life._

 _"Wake up !"_

~oOo~

My eyes snap open to see a male face frowning down at me.

The man looks scared. And furious.

He lets out a huge breath when he sees my eyes open and runs a trembling hand through his short black hair. "You stopped breathing." He rumbles. Our eyes lock and his gaze softens.

I let out a shuddering gasp, reaching my hand up and running the tips of my fingers over the strong planes of his face. He grasps my hand pressing his face into my palm. Those familiar eyes not leaving mine.

 _I know you._

Our moment is interrupted when a group of people swarm around us, causing the man to growl warningly. Sam pushes the man out of the way, breaking or contact. His body starts to shake as Jacob and Jared force him from the room, eyes not looking away from mine until he's gone.

I slowly sit up, wincing as my stomach cramps painfully. Emily prostest trying to push me back me down but I push her away, struggling to my feet. A sharp sting in my arm draws my attention to an IV line that's attached to my arm. I rip it out and move to get out of the house.

"Moth, you need to rest. You shouldn't aggravate your injuries!" Ignoring her I rush out of the house, into the night air. The others following close behind. My stomach heaves as I get out onto the grass but I manage to stumble a few feet away from the house before I fall to my knees and throw up.

The venom burns my throat as I purge it from my body, the grass dying under the toxicity of it. Gentle hands pull my long hair away from my face, while another person rubs my back soothingly.

"You didn't have to be sick out here." Emily says placing her hand against my cooling skin. My body stabilising now that the venom had left my body.

"Venom is hell on furniture." I mutter, heaving again, only bile coming up from my empty stomach.

I stand once I stop puking, already feeling much better, aside from my injuries which throb with a dull ache, but they're easily ignored. I've felt worse.

"Where's Caspar?" I ask turning towards the others.

"He's asleep in the guest room. Why don't we go back inside, it's cold out here." Emily replies, eyes worriedly flicking over my injuries.

I nod and follow the others back into the house, Sam and the guys watching me closely. We all sit at the dining room table, Emily places a glass of water in front of me, smiling as I thank her.

"You need to be careful. Sue fixed you up, she's been coming round after her shifts to check up on you and replace the fluids on your IV. Your shoulder and leg are gonna take a little while to heal, you've got a few bruises and cuts as well, they'll be gone by next week, then there's the um... bites. They shouldn't take too long to heal."

"How long have I been out ?" I ask, ignoring everyone's pointed look at the mention of the bites. I take a sip of water and nearly choke when Seth answers, "Three days."

"What!?"

"Yeah you were pretty out of it, you looked like you were having some seriously vivid dreams. You kept mumbling things. Saying something about a Beta and Caspar." He says.

I shudder thinking of the memories I had seen in my fever induced sleep. Seth watches me, eyes willing me to tell him what I'd seen but I just look away, not ready to talk about my life before. So I change the subject.

"Who was that guy from before? The guy that was there when I woke up."

"The guy who went out with Jacob and Jared?" Dragged out more like, but I nod anyway. "Oh that's Paul. He's a real hot head." I feel the others watching me as Seth talks about Paul. "He sat with you most of the time you were sleeping while we were out - Er.. checking some things out." Embry nudges Seth giving him a sharp look.

"I've seen him before... in my dreams." I wince as soon as the words leave my mouth, realising how corny I sound.

The click of the door closing makes us all look over to see an amused Jared and Jacob and a smirking Paul, looking very pleased with himself standing just inside the doorway. My cheeks burn in embarrassment as the others smother their laughs in their hands.

The chipped chair topples backwards as I stand suddenly, everyone watching me with grins on their faces. My cheeks feel like they heat up even more, if that was even possible, and I turn stiffly towards a widely smiling Emily.

"I'm going to go to bed, I'm pretty tired." My words are tight as I feel my spine straighten under all the knowing looks.

"You've been sleeping for three days." Seth says disbelievingly, the others smother their laughs again.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom to wash up, I woke up pretty sweaty." Paul seems to rumble in satisfaction, I shoot a glare in his direction and he flashes a grin back at me.

Emily, thankfully, takes pity on me. "Of course, it's just down the hall, first door on th left. The guest bedroom is a couple of doors down on the right. Feel free to use whatever you need, there's some spare clothes in the closet opposite the bathroom, the boys are always ruining theirs so I've been collecting spares.

I thank her and say a quick goodnight to the other before making my way towards the door leading to the hall.

"Moth." Paul calls out, the deep tone of his voice sending tingles down my spine. I look back at him questioningly. He watches me for a moment, gaze intense, before a large, smug grin spreads across his face "Sweet dreams."

The others laugh as I practically run out of the room, Paul watching my exiting form until I'm completely out of sight.

Finding the bathroom I quickly wash of my sweat in the shower and brush my teeth, then throw on a pair of loose joggers and a large t-shirt that falls off one of my shoulders. With deft fingers I plait my damp hair, tying it off with a hairband that I found sitting next to the taps on the sink. Leaving the bathroom I make my way down to the spare bedroom.

Quietly walking into the cosy space, I hear the soft breathing of my sleeping toddler. I softly tiptoe up to the bed and slip under the blankets, being careful not to wake him as I curl around his back. He automatically rolls so he's facing me, snuggling close and releasing a deep sigh. I wrap my arms around him, relaxing now he's close to me.

 _He's safe. We got him away from there._

I fall asleep with my baby in my arms, safe from the past.


	8. Reassurance

_Authors note: I've set Moth arriving in the New Moon period, while Bella is in Italy to stop Edward, so this story is set in 2006 (I think that's about right) I've also messed with their ages a bit, Seths 15, Jacob, Embry and Quil are 17 Bella is the same age as Moth (18), Jared and Paul are 20, Sam, Emily and Leah are late twenties 25-29. I know it's not right but that's how I'm seeing them as I write._

* * *

 **.8.**

Caspar cried when he woke up and saw me Laying next to him. Clinging tightly to me as he sobbed how much he missed me and wanted us to go home.

Sitting up in the bed rocking him gently in my arms, I whispered words of apology and praise that he had been so brave while I was sick, promising that we would go home soon.

I sat with him for a long time just resssuring him that I was fine.

There was a soft knock at the door and Emily poked her head in, spotting me sitting there she asks if everything was okay and tells me that Sue was in the dining room and wanted to check me over. I nod and tell her that I'll be right out.

Caspar's hold tightens as I stand and make my way out into the dining room. Sue, a middle aged woman, with greying hair and the same open smile as her son, greets me as I enter the room. Emily works quickly at the stove, cooking like she was expecting an army.

I sit at the table as the guys, minus Jacob, walk into the house and sit themselves around the table, I watch from the corner of my eye as Paul walks in and spots me, he moves towards me and I look away. Sam walks in last, giving Emily a kiss before he helps her set the food on the table and takes the seat at the head of the table, Emily takes the seat next to him. Paul nudges Jared over, eyeing him pointedly and takes the seat opposite me and a clingy Caspar.

He watches my hand as it runs through Caspar's hair, following the motion of my fingers smoothing down his dark curls before his eyes flick up to mine. Warmth blooms in my chest as our eyes meet, like the time I first saw him in my dreams I felt the urge to move closer to him. My beast preens under my skin, loving the attention of his watchful gaze.

I don't realise that I'm leaning towards him until someone clears their throat, snapping me out of my daze. Everyone had stopped eating and were just watching our silent interaction, most looking amused at my behaviour. Cheeks flushing I sit back in my seat, Caspar snuggling closer. Paul smirks at me before starting to eat, pilling his plate high as all the others do guys do.

Caspar frowns as I pull away from him slightly, fists clenching tighter on my shirt. I rest my forehead against his, looking into his watery eyes. "I'm not going to disappear Caspar, I'm right here with you and you need to eat."

"Pwomise won't go away?" He asks me, pale green eyes peering up at me through his thick, dark lashes.

My insides melt at his look, always week to the look. "I promise." Giving his a kiss on the cheek I reach over him and pull a plate towards us. Caspar turns in my lap clumsily so he's facing the table. "Now, can you help mama?" He nods eagerly. I guide him to hold the food with the fork while I use my good arm to cut the food into pieces, Carspar automatically scoops up some food and holds it up towards me. I take the offered bite with a grateful smile before reaching over to snag the toast from the plate, content to just eat that while my stomach gets used to having some substantial food in it again.

"How are you feeling?" Paul asks from across the table.

Looking at his face I'm surprised to see him waiting for my answer so intently, seemingly genuinely interested in my answer. "I'm fine, thank you." I reply softly.

He nods, going back to eating his food, glancing up at me after every few bites.

"After we eat I'll check on your inguries, I'm also going to need to ask you some questions so you and Caspar can get to use the drop in center if you or Caspar get sick."

"We need to have a talk as well." Sam says. The look on his face letting me know I had no choice in the matter. I sigh.

 _Great._

... ... ... ... ...

"I've brought a sling with me, you'll need to wear it as much as possible. No strenuous activities. You shouldn't take too long to heal as long as you don't put too much strain on your shoulder. You leg should be better in a few days, but again no strenuous activities, and elevate it when you're sitting down, you need to let your body heal. Your temperature is stable, no leftover symptoms from your fever so I'd say your all clear there but don't eat too much. Light meals for the next couple of days until your stomach gets used to you eating again and until we're sure the venom hasn't caused any issues."

I nod taking in everything Sue tells me. She helps me put the sling on and checks the bandages on my leg aren't too tight. Paul watching everything she does closely, eyes lingering on my scarred skin as Sue lifts my shirt to see the bites on my ribs.

After we had finished eating Seth had helped Emily wash the empty plates, Emily washing and Seth drying and putting them away. A boy who's name I didn't know left, saying someone called Leah was waiting to start their rounds, and the others followed me, Caspar and Sue as she lead us into the living room. I sat down on the couch I had been laid on for the last three days while I had burned out my fever, Caspar on one side of me tucked under my good arm, Sue sat next to me the others finding a seat on the other couch, Paul sitting in the spot closest to me, while Sam leans against the wall, watching.

"I just need to ask a few questions, fill out the forms and I'll take them in to work with me so you and Caspar can just drop in if any of you get sick or injured."

"Okay. Thank you." I nod in understanding.

"It's no trouble, now I'll need your names and dates of birth."

"Caspar, December sixth, two-thousand and two and Moth, May third, nineteen eighty-eight" I see the other guys in the room doing the maths in their heads.

"Last names?"

"No."

"You don't have last names? What about your parents, what are theirs?" I shrug my shoulders. "Caspar didn't take his father's last name?" Paul seems to tense up at the mention of Caspar's donor. I shake my head in answer to Sue's question.

"Well.. okay. Next any preexisting medical conditions?"

"No, but Caspar was born premature so I don't know if you want to put that down."

"How early was he?"

"Two months."

"Oh my, he's really lucky to of gotten through that."

"I know. He's a fighter." I say affectionately, kissing The top of Caspar's head. He smiles sleepily at me before burying his face back into my side, tired from all the crying he did this morning. I really want to get him home but judging by the expression on Sam's face, I'm not going anywhere until I've answered his questions. Wanting to get it over with I turn back to Sue "Would it be okay if I finish answering the questions another time? I'd really like to get back to my house and rest."

"Oh of course! You can just pop in and ask the ladies at reception for me and we'll finish the forms off and get you sorted." She replies kindly."

"Thank you. For all your help." I say sincerely. She collects her things, saying a goodbye to everyone in the room before moving to say good bye to Emily and Seth and leaving for work.

Sam calls for Seth, who comes into the room with a questioning look on his face. "Can you take Caspar while I talk to Moth for a while?"

"Yeah sure. Come on Cass, we can help Em make some cupcakes." Caspar looks up excitedly then frowns looking back at me.

"Go on, I'll be right in here." I kiss his cheek and push him towards Seth who holds his hand out to him, taking his hand he leads my reluctant toddler from the room chatting cheerfully to him. Cass keeps looking back at me, thumb in mouth, worried look on his face. I stand and move towards him, crouching down so I'm closer to Caspar's level, ignoring the twinge in my leg as I look Caspar straight in his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere without you Caspar, I'd never leave you. Now go and make some cupcakes with Seth and Emily and when you're done we can eat together and you can tell me everything you've been up to while I was sick, okay baby ?"

He looks at me for a minute then nods, walking out of the room with Seth smiling softly down at him.

I try and stand, stumbling a little, before a large hand wraps around my waist steadying me, I look up to see the warm eyes of Paul looking into mine. He helps me back into my seat, much to my embarrassment, shoving the coffee table from the middle of the room towards me, lays a cushion on the surface then lifts my leg to elevate it like Sue had advised moments earlier.

"Okay?" He asks looking me over attentively.

"Yes. Thank you." I answer, wide eyed, cheeks bright red, ducking my head away from the smirking faces of the other guys in the room.

Paul takes the seat next to me and Sam moves to stand in front of us all, his gaze hard.

"Now, start talking."


	9. Questions

**.9.**

"What do you want me to say?" I ask uneasily.

"Well first you can tell me why you didn't change even though you were bitten. Multiple times."

I shrug fiddling with the edge of the bandage on my leg. "That's the way I was made."

"What?"

I don't say anything.

"Why did you come here?" He continues.

"Markus told me it was safe here." I reply looking up at him, being met with his steely determined gaze.

"Nobody's seen Markus in over ten years, when did you meet him?"

"I've known him since I was a kid."

"Where did you meet him ?"

"At the facility."

"What do you mean? What facility?" I shake my head, not knowing how to answer. "What facility?" He growls, trying to stare me down. I stare right back, still not answering.

"How do you know about the vampires?"

"They were at the facility."

Sam growls at me and starts to pace. I jump a little when Paul growls back at the older man.

He stops and turns towards me, eyeing me thoughtfully. "Do you know about us?" All the eyes in the room snap to me, watching me closely, Paul's gaze practically causing a physical heat to radiate on the side of my face under his intense gaze.

I tilt my head questioningly.

"Do you know what we are?"

"You're Omegas." The others look confused. "The originals. The harvested."

"What do you mean originals? Harvested for what?"

"For your wolves."

The room goes deathly silent, not even the sound of breathing could be heard, before it erupt into a mass of questions, directed at each other and at me. Mostly at me. I couldn't make out what everyone was asking, people started to crowd me wanting answers. Paul stands up and blocks me from everyone, trembling and snarling threateningly.

Jacob stomps into the room.

We all freeze, turning to look at his murderous glare. "She's back." He growls out. The guys sigh and mutter, going to sit back down in their respective seats.

 _Who's back ?_

Sam gives me a long look before turning to the furious teen. "Did she bring the Vampire back with her?" Jacob nods his head jerkily, "they've moved back in."

"Vampire? A vampire lives here?" I ask.

"Not here, they're not allowed on our land." Jared answers.

"They!?" _There's a coven here!?_

"Calm down" paul rumbles.

"There are vampires here, how am I supposed to be calm?" I look around the room incredulous.

"You're on pack land, they can't cross the boundary or they'll break the treaty." Sam states.

"The vampires here are the ones from the stories?"

He looks as me questioningly before nodding understandingly, "Markus."

"He used to tell me about his tribe's legends all the time, it especially came in handy while I was pregnant, calmed Caspar right down." My right hand automatically moves to rest over the scar on my abdomen, my left picking nervously at the bandage on my leg.

"They'll want to speak to us." Jared says and the group immediately start talking through how to handle the situation. Still feeling unsure about leaning that there were vampires actually living in the area, I rise to my feet, wanting to go outside and get some fresh air. I wave off Paul, who moves to walk after me, and walk out into the kitchen to find my toddler.

Caspar was sitting at the kitchen table, a cake batter covered spoon held firmly in his mouth, Seth sitting next to him cleaning the bowl off with his own spoon. Caspar's face brightens as he sees me, "mama"

"Hey baby, did you have fun?" He nods smiling around the spoon in his mouth. "Want to come outside and get some fresh air with me?"

"Yeah! Seth coming?" He asks, turning to look at the young teen next to him.

"Yeah, lets go!" He helps Caspar down from the table and they rush outside, me following calmly behind them. We go out the back of the house, Seth and Caspar start chasing each other and playing around while I carefully lower myself onto the grass and lay back, eyes closed, enjoying the sun and just taking time to think about things.

 _Well what now? Markus said the coven in the stories had left the area._

My beast prowls under my skin, wanting to break out and tear the threat apart. I wanted to shift, my skin crawled with the need.

"Careful, you're starting to smell like wolf." My eyes snap open, seeing the scowling face of Jacob sitting down next to me. He sees my questioning look and says, "I could smell it at your house. When I smelt the vampire."

"That's why you were so angry?"

"Not at you." He assures. "At the fact that a vampire had gotten onto our land and hurt one of our own."

My eyes soften at his words. "You haven't said anything to the others."

"I figured you would when you were ready. It's pretty easy to tell that you've had a hard life, you need some time to trust us and I get that."

"... Thank you." I say sincerely. His tense body seems to relax and he lays back one the grass next to me.

"There Is something I want to ask though." He says, eyes closed as he soaks in the sun, arms tucked behind his head.

"What's that ?" I ask, curious about what it was that he wanted to know.

"Why aren't you healing? You're like us right? You're covered in scars and your shoulder and leg should have healed by now." He turns his head to peer at me, waiting for my answer.

I don't answer for a long moment. My whole life I was trained not to show weakness and here I was, layed out, bandaged up on virtual strangers lawn after spending three days vulnerable and dependent on them. Next to me, a boy who knew what lurked beneath my skin, and was still trusting me. I needed to show him the same curtesy.

"It's my biggest failure." I say, turning my head back to look up at the sky. "In their eyes." I feel him watching me. "I heal like they do and they didn't want that, they wanted me better, so they conditioned me to ignore pain and keep moving."

We don't speak for a while, the giggling of Seth and Casper filling the silence.

He turns to me a small grin on his face. "So what do you look like when you shift? Is your fur the same colour as your hair?"

"It's white." I nod.

"Fluffy, like your hair?"

"I guess?" I reply, confused when Jacob starts laughing. "What? " I ask sitting up on my elbow, looking over at him.

"You sound adorable. I bet a leech would laugh when they see you."

I feel my pupils dialate and my fangs lengthen. "They usually look pretty terrified actually." I mock growl. Jacob eyes widen in shock and he moves back slightly "How-?"

I hear a snarl and my baby cry out before a mass of fur slams into me and my world snaps into a mess of teeth and claws.


	10. Bad day

**.10.**

The usual pain shoots through my body as I erupted into my shift. Twisting my huge form to grab hold of the attacking wolf's fur, and drag it off me, it's teeth raking across my neck as I hurl it across the clearing. The wolf lands with a heavy thud and struggles to its feet, moving back towards me, snarling.

I prowl around the smaller creature sniffing, confused. It smelled like me, but it looked nothing like me. Compared to my huge, long-limbed, upright form it looked like an normal wolf, albeit bigger than the average lupine.

 _Is this the natural form of an omega?_

The wolf snaps at me as I move closer to it, I bare my teeth back, growl rumbling deep in my chest. It cowers slightly at the sheer menace of me.

A low rumble draws my attention to a group of three huge wolves stalking towards me. The largest, a jet black wolf, in the center, a dark silver wolf on its left and a brown wolf with silver fur around its eyes on its right. After years of training I recognise their movement as corralling me away from the smaller wolf, putting themselves between me and the struggling creature. I play along, studying their movements and dynamics as they stalk towards me.

As they stand between me and the fallen grey wolf behind them. I hear the small cry of my son, jerking my attention up I see Jacob, Embry and Seth standing close to the house, shocked looks on their faces. Caspar struggling to get out of Seths arms.

I move towards them, stepping closer to the group of wolves. The largest one growls warningly at me, the dark silver one growls back. Sniffing the air I smell the scents of Jared, Paul and Sam, all watching me with cautious eyes. As I look between everyone, seeing shocked, closed off expressions on their faces I feel the distance between us widen, my initial optimism for our futures here shaken. My hope at becoming part of their world seeming further from my reach.

 _Jacob was wrong. I'm nothing like them._

I slowly step around them, walking towards where Seth is holding my child. The three wolves follow next to me at a distance, making sure I know not to step out of line.

Getting close to the unshifted group I reach out my inhuman hand, wickedly sharp claws glinting in the light. Seth jerks Caspar away from me instinctively. I growl at the action, hearing answering growls across from me. Again I reach for my baby, carefully picking him up out of Seths hold and draw him into my arms, he automatically grips onto the fur of my shoulder as I hold him to me. Turning away from the cold looks of the group I move carefully past the wolves. Getting past them before I speed up and run off into the forest and don't slow down or stop until I get us home.

* * *

I shift back as I close the front door of our house, sliding to the floor, hugging Caspar tightly, the ache in my chest stifling me.

 _Im a freak here._

All the dreams I had of finding a place to fit it, where I was no longer something strange and new to be watched and feared. Somewhere safe for Caspar and I.

Caspar squeezes me back, sensing my unease and offering me comfort, farming me from the negativity that started to creep past my carefully built walls.

 _Enough of this moping, get up and keep moving._

I bury my face against Caspar's shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent deeply before drawing back and pushing his hair from his face, smiling softly at him as he beams back at me. Standing up I move us into the bedroom and start rummaging through our clothes for something for us to wear. I had a feeling that the guys would probably come after us, to ask more questions I wasnt feeling so eager to answer, so I may as well use this as an opportunity to put off the inevitable and work on Caspar's confidence around people, whilst getting some groceries from town.

"Going out?" Caspar asks me sitting on the bed.

"Yeah Cass, we're going into town." I throw on a pair of black jeans and an oversized jumper then help Caspar get on his own clothes. We move to the door and put our shoes, me helping Caspar tie his laces. "Ready?" I ask. He nods nervously, thumb in mouth, I could tell he was remembering the first time we went, and all the people. "It's okay baby." I run my fingers through his dark curls, "I'm right here with you, I'd never let anything happen to you." Moving out the door I hold my hand out to him, waiting.

He hesitates for just a moment before quickly walking out after me and reaching up to take my hand.

* * *

As if my day couldn't get any worse everyone in the supermarket seemed to be staring.

Caspar stands close to me as we shop, uneasy under the curious gazes of strangers. I quickly grab stuff for dinner and some other bits we need and rush to the checkout deciding I'd rather face the wolves than the gawking shoppers.

When we get outside I try to shuffle the two bulky bags in my arms into a more comfortable position for the treck home, groaning in frustration when an apple falls out of the top of one of the bags.

"I get it!" Caspar calls as he rushes after the rolling apple.

A pale hand bends and picks up the apple before he reaches it.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I drop the bags in my arms,groceries scattering around me, and urgently start to move towards the stranger in front of my toddling son.

The stranger, a teen boy around my age with bronze hair, holds the apple out to Caspar.

His eyes are different but there's no mistaking that scent.

The teen's strange eyes raise to meet me, probably expecting a flustered mother not the sharp glare of a scarred teenage girl storming towards him, long strides fast eating the distance between us.

"Get away from him." I growl, wolf close to bursting through my skin.

He hisses sharply at me, moving back rapidly and placing himself in front of a pretty brunette girl that hopped out of a beat up, orange truck. She tries to ask the vampire what wrong and what was going on but he is too focused on me to answer her questions.

I scoop Caspar up and back away from the vampire, eyes watching closely for any threatening movement. He starts backing the girl back into the truck, pushing her over the truck bench into the passenger side before he jumps in the drivers seat and slams the door. I quickly move back into the cover of the store, away from the screeching retreat of the truck. My eyes follow the old truck, Caspar held tightly to me, as the vamp speeds out of the parking lot and down the road, out of sight.

I relax my hold on Caspar slightly once im certain the vampires not coming back, but unable to stop myself watching the road anyway, just in case.

Caspar looks up at me, scared and wanting reassurance. "Its okay baby, it's okay." I murmur soothingly, as rests his head against my shoulder, rubbing his back until the tension starts to melt from his body and starts to doze off.

Sighing heavily I run a hand through my wild hair to try and ease my agaitated nerves, shaken by how close the vampire teen had come to Cass. I'm almost calm before I make the mistake of looking around and catch sight of the mess of our freshly brought groceries laying spilled over the ground, just as Caspar let's out a little sound of contentment and snuggles closer, settling deeper into sleep.

 _This is turning out to be one hell of a day._


	11. Breakfast

**.11.**

A loud scraping noise from somewhere in the house jolts me from my sleep.

Opening my eyes I see Caspar still sleeping, soft breaths ruffling his dark hair.

I hear the noise again, like something heavy was being dragged across the floor. Getting up, careful not to make any sounds, I tiptoe out of the room and towards the noise. I could hear hissed cursing and badly hushed aguments coming from the kitchen. Making my way into the kitchen doorway I peek around the edge, blinking in surprise at the scene in front of me.

I couldn't help but let out a deep sigh at the sight of Jacob, Seth, Embry, Paul and the boy I don't know the name of, having a heated, semi-whispered, argument around a large wooden table and group of chairs, Billy off to the side of the room shaking his head at the group. Paul suddenly jerks his head in my direction, his eyes immediately running down my bare legs as he lets out a low growl that rumbles around the room, becoming louder as the others notice me lingering in the doorway. He smacks the back of Seths head when he sees him looking at my pale legs.

"I think you'd better get some clothes on." Billy laughs, "you lot can get back to sorting this out, now put it over there by the window and stop arguing."

Caspar starts to stir when I get back into the room. I quickly chuck on yesterday's jeans and bend down, peppering kisses over the waking toddlers face. He giggles and wiggles away from my tickling hands. Laughing, I pick him up and he cuddles close to me. "Did you sleep well?" I ask carrying him out into the kitchen. The guys had arranged the table and mismatched chairs by the window, overlooking the back of the house, warmth bloomed in my chest at the sight of it, my new home was really coming together. Caspar brightens when he sees Billy and holds his arms out to him, I pass him over and turn to the other guys. "Do you guys want breakfast?"

"We can do it. You should sit down, you're supposed to be resting." Paul grumbles, walking over to me and guiding me to sit on one of the new chairs. He pulls out a sling that was tucked in his back pocket and carefully puts my arms back into position, just as Sue demonstrated. I just watch his deft movement mutely, not protesting as he tilts my head back to examine the red marks that go diagonally down my neck, skin broken in a few places, from the scuffle with the wolf yesterday. "I could kill her for attacking you like that." He rumbles out.

I suck in a sharp breath, pupils dialating, my beast standing at attention at his words. He growls, pleased at my reaction, his palm slides up my neck to rest on the side of my face, I can't help but lean into him, head tilted up towards him, half-lidded eyes not leaving his. He leans down towards me, towering over me so that all I could see was him. His hand feels scorching hot where it rests on my face.

Our noses brush. My eyes close.

"Ahem."

I snap back on my chair, eyes wide.

 _What the hell was that?_

I look around the room to see the guys all staring at us, amused looks on their face, Billy covering Caspar's eyes on his lap."Hey now, let's keep it PG, there's young eyes in the room." He smirks at us.

Paul still watches me, chuckles as a blush heats my pale cheeks before taking the seat next to me.

"Jacob's in charge of breakfast." Billy announces, wheeling him and Caspar to the table, Cass's head resting back against his shoulder, still not fully awake.

"I can do it." I protest, starting to rise from my seat. Paul's growl and Seths hands pushing my shoulders down keep me in my chair, he quickly jerks them away when I hiss quietly at the pressure he puts on my bad shoulder, hastily apologising.

"No. Paul's right, let us do it." Embry says, smiling assuringly at me.

I cast a quick glare at the hulking man next to me before nodding reluctantly. "Fine."

The boys get to work.

... ... ... ... ...

There's a knock at the door while the guys are doing the dishes.

I'd been banned from doing anything but to sit and watch, while the others cooked and fussed over me, constantly asking if I was comfortable or wanted to move into the living room or if I wanted another drink. The whole thing was new to me, I was unused to being treated like this.

"I'll get it!" Seth jumps up and moves to the front door, coming back in followed by Sue and a younger Native woman, around Sam and Emily's age. She was a striking beauty, with her russet skin and short, black hair, her long limbed toned body held rigidly as she walked into the room, eyes wandering around the place suspiciously. Sue walks straight over to me and starts asking me questions about how I'm feeling, and how I've been treating my injuries, in full nurse mode.

I cast glances at the angry stranger standing stiffly by the door way. Sue sees the direction of my eyes and turns to look at the young woman. "I came to check up on you and to apologise. I heard what happened yesterday and my daughter was out of line and over reacted on a misunderstanding and you got hurt as a result which is unacceptable. Come over here and apologise Leah." She says sternly to the scowling woman. Leah, steps forward, tucking her short hair behind her ears.

"I shouldn't have jumped on you yesterday. I apologise." She says, a firm tone to her voice and a frown on her face.

I see Paul scowling from the corner of my eye.

"It's okay. It was only a scratch." I subtly dig at her. She narrows her eyes at me in turn.

"We're all sorry about yesterday, even Sam, he read Leah the riot act after you left, well, after wrestling Paul away from her. Mom wasn't too happy with her either so she's been feeling real sorry for herself and been bitchier than usual." Seth snickers.

"Shut up Seth." Leah snaps at him. They start bickering as I turn my attention back onto the people around the table. The guys all roll their eyes and scoff at the bickering siblings. Jacob turns to me, "Sam wants to speak to you. About what happened and your uh- wolf."

"I don't feel up to doing anything today. I just want to stay in and relax." I reply, brushing my fingers through my hair. Jacob nods in understanding, though his eyes give way that he knows I'm putting off talking to Sam about what happened.

"Where did you go yesterday anyway? I came to check on you but nobody was here." Paul asks, eyes following the movement of my hand in my hair.

"I went into town to get some groceries." I say, meeting his eyes, getting the same warm feeling in my chest I've come to expect when looking into their dark depths. "I think I met a couple of those Vampires you were talking about yesturday." I say, looking at Jacob.

I hear an angry rumbling next to me and turn to see Paul trembling, hands clenched tightly on the table, a hard look on his face. I reach out and put my hand over one of his. "Calm down, I'm fine."

"What happened?" He growls out.

"A male one was too close to Caspar, so I warned him off and he hissed at me and shoved a female one into an old truck, then sped off. Nothing really happened." I state. His tremors lessen and he places his other hand over mine, squeezing gently.

"In an old truck? I don't think the Cullen's have anything like that. What did they look like?" A boy asks, I still don't know his name.

"The male looked about my age, bronze hair, slim, the girl was a brunette, quite pretty."

The guys laugh. "That's Bella, she's not a vampire she's human."

"Yet anyway." Paul scoffs.

Jacob growls at him Paul growls back as I look between them questioningly. "The guy was Edward, bella's boyfriend." Embry explains while Jacob scowls heavily down at my new table.

"She's dating a vampire?" I ask, incredulous, the guys around the table nod their heads. "Has she got a death wish?" Jacob slams his hands down on the table, stands and storms out of the back of the house.

"Nice going." Leah snipes sarcastically.

"Jacob thinks he's in love with Bella." Paul explains at my confused look.

"You don't think so?"

"No. she's not.. meant to be with him. But he still cares about her and it kills him that she's with the leech and wants to become one of them."

"I'm going to go and talk to him." I move to get up. Paul starts to protest but I shoot him my deadliest glare, relaxing slightly when he holds his hands up in surrender, watching as I walk out the house after Jacob.

He hadn't gone far, just to the edge of my back porch, where he sat on the top step. I quietly cross the short distance to him and sit down beside him. sighing when I feel the eyes of Paul watching us from the doorway.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise you cared for her." I start, looking over the somber expression on his face.

"Its fine. I'm just frustrated over the whole thing. I mean, how can she be with him? He's a leech." He runs his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"You love her?"

He nods mutely and I can't help but feel sympathy for the teen. The person he loves is in love with someone else, someone who also happens to be a vampire, his natural enemy.

"I know the guys dont think It's real, they think it's just an infatuation. Just because she's not my imprint doesn't mean I can't love her, I mean look at Sam and Leah. They were engaged. He loved her even though she wasn't his imprint."

I hear Paul straighten up from his slouch against the doorframe as I ask,

"Whats an imprint ?"


	12. Imprint

_Authors note: Sorry, will have to cut updates to once a week, works been busy lately so I can't write as frequently as before._

* * *

 **.12.**

Jacob was flustered.

He scrounged around for a reply, looking back at Paul pleadingly. Paul seemed to take pity on him, "go speak with Sue and Leah before they leave."

Jacob wastes no time, jumping up and rushing past Paul back into the house, I watch him go bemused. Paul watches too, shaking his head, letting out an annoyed huff as he passes. His eyes flick to mine and the now familiar feeling of warmth spreads through my chest along with the feeling of wanting to be closer to him.

He walks over to me and sits in the spot Jacob just vacated. We sit in silence for a long while, just watching each other. He carefully reaches his hand out and takes mine, playing with my fingers, my breath hitches as his hand makes contact with mine.

"Do they still hurt ?" He asks eyes not leaving my marked skin, shuffling closer to me and running his fingers along the scars running up my arm.

"No." I say softly, mesmerised by the sight and feel of his large, rough hands tracing along my arm.

"How did you do this one ?" His thumb brushes over a particularly ragged scar just bellow my elbow.

"Compound fracture." His hand moves higher up my arm.

"And this one ?" He runs his finger over a long scar that travel up my shoulder.

"I got snagged when I was climbing a wire fence." He just nods, his fingers brush over the small scar that goes vertically down the right side of my lip, " a fight." I answer softly before he can ask, then his thumb brushes across my cheeks, over the long scar that slashes down the right side of my face.

"And this ?" He asks, moving closer to me, his eyes looking deeply into mine.

"A razor." He releases a harsh breath, tremors race through his body and I'm overwhelmed with the need to comfort him. Scared by the strength of the emotion I jerk away, quickly getting to my feet and walking down the steps of the porch and start pacing up and down the garden area.

 _What's going on ?_

"Moth? Stop." Paul blocks my path, large hands holding onto my arms, trying to meet my eyes but I stare firmly at the ground.

"What's happening ?" I ask him, looking up at him, brows scrunched in confusion and frustration.

"What ?"

"You know what. What is this.. this pull in my chest ?" The grip on he has on my arm tightens and he looks at me as confused as I am. "You're not supposed to feel the pull like we do." He says.

"What is it ? Why do I feel like this ?"

"Its the imprint." He says, sighing at my confused expression. "It's hard to explain." Letting go of me, he runs his hands through his dark hair, frown on his face. "Markus told you our stories right ? He told you the one about the third wife ?" I nod. "When we see our inprint, our whole lives changes. It's like a gravitational pull to them. No one or anything else is important but them, and we'd do anything to make them happy. _Be_ anything, a brother figure, a friend... a lover. They're our mate, our fated partner. Our soulmate." He says meeting my eyes.

I watch him for a while taking everything in. He looks back nervously, waiting for my reaction.

"I don't like sex." I state.

"What ?" He chokes, surprised.

"I don't like sex." I start playing with the ends of my hair, curling it round my fingers. "I haven't had nice experiences with it and I won't be forced." I say meeting his eyes.

"I would never force you to do anything." He says adamantly, taking my hand and moving closer to me.

"Well what happens now? Where does Caspar fit into this imprint thing? We barely know each other-" Paul cuts off my rambling, stepping closer to me and soothing his hand over my cheek.

" We get to know each other, I'll get to know Caspar, take you both out, take you out on dates." He sees my sceptical look. "Hey, this is new to me too, I don't date."

"I don't know what to do. I've never been on a date before, I've heard people talk about it but they didn't seem very happy with the experience."

He laughs. "Well it will be a learning experience for both of us then. And for the record, you're gonna love sex with me." I frown at his smirking face, opening my mouth to retort.

" Mama someone's at the door !" Caspar calls, appearing at the back door, Seth peering round the doorframe.

"Coming." I give a quick look to Paul, who just grins at me, before making my way through the house, the guys sitting at the mismatched table, Sue and Leah must have left.

I walk towards the front door, mind going over the conversation with Paul. _He said we're soulmates. How do you ignore a bond like that ?_

My thought are silenced when I open the door to the pretty brunette from the supermarket parking lot.

"...hey, I heard that Jake was here ?" The strong smell of vampire rolled off her body.

I couldn't control the loud snarl that erupts up out of my chest, as I step out onto the front porch and shut the door heavily behind me. My pupils dialate and my senses shift, searching for her lover that could be lingering near by. The smell and her boyfriend making her a threat to my child and new friends inside my sanctuary.

she backs away off the porch hastily, eyes wide with fear as I prowl after her.

I hear the door open and a number footsteps walk hastily out onto the porch.

"Moth what's going on ? Is that Bella ?" I hear a voice ask, I'm too focused on watching for threats to pay attention.

"What's she doing here ?"

"How did she even know where to find us?"

"Moth ?"

With my eyes held firmly on the dark haired girl, I feel my claws lengthen and I growl in warning.

"Get away from my house."


	13. Familiar Face

**.13.**

"Moth, ease off its just Bella. She's not here to hurt anyone." Jacob says. Moving around me to stand in front of Bella, hands held tentatively in the air towards me.

"I don't want her anywhere near my house." I growl, jolting slightly when I feel Paul place a hand on my arm to calm me.

"Come on Moth, she's a friend."Jacob says incredulously.

"Well she can be your friend at your house. She's not welcome near me or my baby." I say back, the stink of vampire making me cranky and growly towards my new friend. The girl, Bella, peeks meekly around Jacobs back and I feel my hackles raise as she makes eye contact with me, my wolf seeing challenge in those chocolate brown eyes.

"It's pack land, you can't tell me to get off it, anyway I'm only looking for Jacob." She calls.

"Well here he is. Now fuck off." I snap, the familiar tingling starting under my skin as my wolf pushes to shift.

"Moth. Don't be like this." Jacob says, scowling at me. I eye the teen as he stands protectively in front of the girl. He's in love with her, ready to fight me even after seeing the beast under my skin, while she stands and lets him fight her battles. _I'm not fighting with him over this leech lover._

"You talk to her out here, I'm going into town with Caspar. She's not allowed in the house and she better be gone by the time I get home." I growl at him. Turning back into the house to collect Caspar. Paul follows closely behind but I don't pay any attention to him, wanting to get away from the smell and go and calm the wolf under my skin. I shake him off going to the bedroom and quickly get me and Caspar dressed, throwing my hair up into a high ponytail I leave the room to put our shoes on. I rip the sling off, frustrated by the hindrance to my movements when all I wanted was to get out quickly. Paul was waiting for us by the back door.

"I'll come. Make sure you're at least resting your arm if you won't wear your sling." He mutters, frowning at me.

I turn towards the other guys, giving one instruction before I leave. "Make sure she doesn't come any closer to my house. I'll smell if she does." They nod mutely. "Do you want anything from town?" I ask, grabbing a bag and some money.

With the simple reply of "food," I pick Caspar up and move out the back door.

Paul takes Caspar from me, and takes my hand as we walk away from the house as I watch him warily but make no move to release his hand from mine. "I could get the car." He offers.

"No thank you. I like walking, calms me down." I reply, watching the trees around us, still slightly on edge.

"You really didn't like her." He chuckles.

"Her boyfriend is a _vampire._ I don't want that sort of trouble anywhere near me and Caspar or the house. It's suppose to be our safe space, I don't want to be dragged into any sort of mess and it's bound to come with a human dating a leech." I reply, voice bland. Paul eyes me thoughtfully.

"Where we going mama?" Caspar asks.

"Town Cass. Do you need anything?"

"Morw ceweals?" He asks

"Don't you like the ones we brought last time?"

He nods his head. "Want to twy morw."

"Have you tried frosted flakes?" Paul asks, drawing the toddlers attention. Caspar shakes his head. The older man starts talking to the three year old about all his favourite cereals. I smile at the pair, turning to look back at the trees thoughtfully.

 _Well the girl clearly knows where we live. Hopefully she'll be gone by the time we're home. I don't want that sort of drama in our lives, ours is enough, we don't need anymore._ I eye the pair chatting away. _Relax, we're fine, Caspar is unfazed, just stay calm and get on with it._

 _Right_. I think. _Just focus on now and getting the things we need._

* * *

Its harder to stay relaxed than I thought.

Caspar became his usual clingy self when we got into town. Practically leaping from Paul's arms into mine. Paul frowned at his behaviour before I reassured him that it was all the people and not him personally. As usual people stared at my unusual looks, making me wary and Paul grouchy. He didn't appreciate all the eyes on me.

Then there's the fact of Paul's looks.

I'm not so oblivious that I didn't notice how striking he is, but I didn't take into account that others would notice too. My wolf wanted to snap and snarl at the lingering eyes of the local women and that in itself was disconcerting. I'd never felt anything like the fierce possessiveness I felt over the man who stuck close to my side as I glared challengingly as I met the eyes of the leering women. Paul chuckles at my behaviour, continuing to follow after me and Caspar as we explored the shops.

Luckily Caspar started to become more comfortable with the crowds, even peeking his face out of the crook of my neck and accepting Paul's offering arms, looking around at the things Paul pointed out.

Paul was making the most effort, talking to Caspar to draw him out of his shell, and drawing my attention from the people around us to engage more in our activity. We talked about mundane things, favourite colours, and Paul asked Caspar lots of question, he skirted around the bigger questions, sensing that it was not the right time to ask and that I probably wouldn't answer.

We were on our way home, Caspar next to me holding my hand, Paul holding the bags, refusing to let me take one from him, answering Caspar's endless questions about the plants and the birds as best he could. As we entered the wooded area of the Rez, a strong smell of blood permeated the air, causing us to freeze, Caspar looking up at me worriedly, thumb moving to his mouth. Paul looked at me, communicating the need for caution his eyes, I nod in understanding, allowing him to walk slightly in front, while I walk just behind and place Caspar so that he he sandwiched between us as we carefully move forward.

As we come around a bend in the worn foot trail a slow, shuffling sound becomes louder as the smell becomes stronger. The sound was coming from the hunched, shambling form of a person. The person is wearing dirty, torn clothes, their long hair hanging greasily around them. They walk with a heavy limp, favoring their right leg and groan as they nearly trip over a small rock on the path.

"Who's that?" Caspar asks nervously, the bedraggled person turns with a gasp as the sound of my toddlers voice alerts them to our presence.

With their hair hanging limply around their face it was hard to distinguish their features but as I sniffed for a scent there was a trace of something very familiar under the thick layer of grime, blood and sweat. I step out from behind Paul, who trys to pull me back behind him. Pushing his hands away I slowly make my way towards the struggling form.

Their breath rattles heavily in their heaving chest, although I can't see them I feel the strangers eyes on me. They let out a loud gasp, taking a burdened step towards me, reaching a weathered hand out towards me.

"Moth." The person rasps.

 _That voice._

I move further towards the person. Reaching my hands out and smoothing the dirty locks away from the strangers face. A worn face is revealed, familiar warm brown eyes surrounded by deep laugh lines. His aged face looking gaunt and paler than I had ever seen it in all the years that I had known him.

I felt pain in my chest at the state of the person who was the closest thing I'd had to family for most of my life, No, the _only_ family I'd had until Caspar came along.

I draw him to me, wrapping my arms around the older man, ignoring the strong smell of stale sweat and blood and just holding him tight. He leans heavily on me, letting out a tired sigh, holding me back just as tight. "You made it girl. You're okay." He breathes out.

"Moth? Who is that? " Paul calls out from behind me.

I let out a little laugh, resting my forehead against the older man's, eyes closing at the first feeling of familiarity I'd felt since coming here.

"It's Markus."


	14. What happened ?

**.14.**

"Markus okay ?" Caspar asks worriedly, peering up at me with his large green eyes, clinging onto my legs.

"He will be Baby. He just needs to rest and get better." I run my hand through his dark curls.

Everyone had been shocked at our state yesterday. Jacob, Billy and Bella were gone, I assumed they went back to their place. The guys had misunderstood at first as I walked into the house with an arm full of bags and a tearful Caspar, Markus's blood coating the front of my clothes and smeared across my face but then Paul had followed in afterwards with an arm full of an unconscious, bleeding Markus. Seth had rushed off to get his mother to help as the rest of us worked to get Markus comfortable and put pressure on the worst of his bleeding with a bunch of towels. We managed to keep him stable until Sue arrived and pushed us out of the way so she could work.

A long while later Sue had come out and informed us that Markus was stable and she had stitched up his large number of gashes and cleaned all his cuts. She left after a long lecture on how to care for him, and instructions for rest before promptly rushing back out of the house to get back to work.

I played with Caspar's hair a little, just daydreaming while the guys talked in hushed voices around the dining table before I'm drawn from my daze by a knock at the door. I push Caspar towards the kitchen with the others while I went to get the door.

I open it to reveal a concerned looking Emily and a stern looking Sam.

"Moth, we heard about Markus, is he okay ?"

Nodding I step to the side and let the pair in. "He's fine, he'll just need to rest and heal. He's in the bedroom right now sleeping." Emily nods and moves to go take a look at the man who'd been missing for almost ten years.

Sam walks past me and towards the guys, shooting me a look that tells me he wants me to follow, sighing I follow him into the kitchen. The guys were sitting around the table, Caspar sitting on Seths lap and leaning forward to do some colouring in the book in front of him.

"Caspar why don't you go and show Emily your colouring, she's in checking on Markus." He nods eagerly and jumps off of Seths lap and runs past me to find the older woman.

Me and Sam eye each other before moving to sit at the table with the others. "First off. I'd like to apologise about what happened with Leah. It was a shock and we didn't handle it right." Sam's says sincerely, meeting my gaze head on. I nod in acceptance. "Right, well. Now we need to know about what happened to Markus. Do you know anything ?"

"No. We were supposed to leave together but we got seperated, I didn't know the area and I needed to get here so I just kept running and hoped he would find his way since he'd been out before." I say, fingers running over the wood pattern on the table.

"He's been out before ?"

"Yeah, I don't remember being out but Markus was picked up when he was older so he remembered what it was like. He used to tell me about it all the time."

"You mean out of the facility ? You've been in this facility longer than you can remember ?" Sam asks.

I nod slowly. "I was brought when I was five." I say blandly. I hear a low growl and I look up to see the furious eyes of Paul. He reaches across the table and takes my hand, tracing the map of scars across my knuckles

"What did they do to you ?" He asks, voice strained.

I shrug. "You've seen my wolf right ?" They all stare wide eyed.

" They did _that_?!" Seth exclaims.

I wince at the tone of his voice, and the way he addressed my wolf, and nod.

The others start firing off questions coming to their feet, I frown and sit back in my chair, arms crossed defensively. I look over to Paul and see him watching my carefully blank expression, studying me.

" Enough !" Sam growls, the others immediately stop and settle back in their chairs, watching him closely.

 _Alpha,_ my mind supplies. I roll the word around internally for a moment, but the word doesn't seem quite right for Sam, it doesn't seem to fit the older man completely.

" Moth do you know what got Markus in that state ?"

I nod focusing on the Solemn man, "the Betas."

"The what ?"

"The Betas. They're mean fuckers. Had a few run ins with those ones. Not nice." I say, my hand automatically touching the small scar on my lip.

Sam watches me thoughtfully. " what are you ? An omega ?"

I snort. "I'm Alpha."

the others look nervously between me and Sam.

"Alpha Specimen Moth." A gravelly voice says from the doorway. We all jerk our attention round to see Markus leaning heavily against the doorframe, Emily looking worried and slightly annoyed just behind him, Casper help in her arms.

"You should be resting old man." I say rising to my feet along with a couple of others to help Markus into the chair next to mine.

"I'm fine." He grumbles sinking into the chair with a groan.

"Sure." I reply, not believing him for a second, "hungry ?"

"God yes, I can't remember the last time I ate proper food." I move to cook him something but Emily waves me off.

" I can do it. Don't forget you're supposed to be resting too." She starts rummaging through the refrigerator and cupboards looking for ingredients, Caspar positioned on her left hip.

"Why, what happened to you ?" Asks Markus, looking me over.

I leaned towards him, "there are vampires here."

His eyes go wide. "What !? They're supposed to have left. Did they do this to you ?"

" No, there was a stray." Sam answers.

" Was I asking you ?" Grumped Markus.

I rest my hand on his worn one, " easy, old man."

He looks down at my hand and sighs, placing his other one over mine, "Everything's been good apart from that. No trouble ?"

I quickly cast a glance at the others. "Nothing major, just getting used to everything and getting settled in." I assure him.

" And Caspar's been handling everything okay? He's never been out before."

Caspar looks over at the sound of his name. I smile at him and hold my arms out. He wiggles out of Emily's arms and runs over to me, lifting him onto my lap I cuddle him close, ruffling his wild hair. "Caspar's been great, he's been very brave and has been listening to mama for once." I tease tickling his sides. "You weren't so fond of the crowds though, were you baby ?" I ask smoothing his hair back. He shakes his head, clutching my t-shirt tightly. "But we're working on it." I kiss his cheek and he buries his face in my shoulder.

"He'll get there," Paul reassures.

"We'll help !" Seth says from across the table, making the guys chuckle and agree talking about what they can do to help, I smile and chuckle at some of their sillier plans.

"You seem to be settling in." Markus says, eyeing me pointedly

I watch the old man before rolling my eyes, " yeah, yeah, you were right. Happy ?"

"Exceedingly." He smacks and rubs his hands together as Emily places a plate of food in front of him. "Thank you my dear, it smells delicious."

"Hey where's ours !?" The guys protest.

"You've all eaten, Markus needs the food to get better." Emily remarks, taking a seat next to Sam. The guys start whining and chatting between each other, except for Sam and Paul who are watching me and Markus carefully.

"What happened to you Markus. Where have you been for the last ten years ?" Sam asks.

" Sam let the man eat." Emily chides.

"No it's okay." Markus says swallowing his mouthful of food. "I'll answer your questions."

I look thoughtfully at my old friend.

"Enough of that now, it's okay." Markus says returning my look.

"You'll tell us what we want to know ? _All_ of it ?" Sam asks, leaning towards us, the others mimick his action. I feel Paul watching my face.

Markus turns to look at Sam, he studies him for a second before nodding.

"Ask away."


	15. Betas

**.15.**

"First off what is the facility? Moth won't tell us." Says Sam.

" Well that's because she doesn't know." Replys Markus with a frown. "She's a subject. she's been there most of her life but they don't talk to her, she only knows what she sees and the snippets that she overhears." he turns to look at me a scowl on his face. "Have they been giving you trouble over this ?" I shake my head, hands clenched on the table. Paul reaches out to rest a hand on one of mine, I smile softly at him squeezing his hand tightly.

"So what is the facility ?" Embry asks, curious.

"Well I don't exactly know." Markus concedes causing Sam to let out an irritated grunt, "but I do know that they're buying and kidnapping people."

"For what purpose ?" Sam asks.

"All I know is that they're trying to make wolves like Moth. They took me for my heritage and they take strands of your DNA and mess around with it and then the kids like moth come in. The DNA is mixed in with theirs and then they wait for the results."

"So there's more like Moth ? Other wolves that look like hers ?"

Markus laughed out loud, "No. Moth's a fluke, I heard some of the lab workers talking about it, they have no idea how she turned out differently, they haven't been able to recreate her, some come close but they're still just more Betas."

"What are the Betas ?"

"They're failures, they get mixed with our wolf DNA but it messes them up, they don't look human and they damned well don't act human. They're mainly used as attack dogs or for training for the better ones. Sometimes they just fight them for their own amusement. That's how they first found out about Moth."

"What ?" Paul growls, his hand tightens almost painfully over mine, brow set in a harsh scowl.

Markus watches me carefully, "They thought Moth was a failure at first, she wasn't speaking or responding to the handlers so they put her in the pit as a 'bait dog' but she survived and they kept fighting her. She got put against the best fighter, a huge mean looking Beta, no rationality at all, he tore her up pretty bad, I thought she was as good as dead, then she shifted. Killed the Beta with one blow and was whisked back into the labs."

I flinch as memories of my childhood flash across my mind. The constant fights, the rabid Betas ripping at me, trying to tear me apart. Their nightmarish appearances belied the desperation in their eyes, I could see that they were suffering just as much as I was, they were exactly the same as me, I just got the lucky end of the game of chance the whitecoats were playing with our lives.

The beta I'd killed when I first shifted stuck with me the most, I had felt connected to the feral man.

He was massive compared to my childish form, a 7ft mountain of pure muscle. He was covered in scars, more than I have now, a particularly painful claw mark raked across his face, pulling the skin tightly, distorting the symmetry of his face and twisting his expression into a perminant grimace. His eyes were a striking blue, the exact colour of the summer sky.

The emotion in those beautiful eyes had crushed me. I had burst into tears when I saw them, sorrow clawing at my chest, leaving me a bawling mess staring up at the beast of a man. There was no anger. Even as he slashed at my body with his knarled claws there was no anger.

Just pain.

I stared into his eyes as he gored my flesh. I kept murmuring 'sorry' over and over again, making no move to fight back.

The world seemed to slow, the noise of the crowd cheering at the horror show becoming muffled in my ears. I had felt a pressure built in my chest and my temperature rose, I felt like my blood was boiling.

Looking up at the suffering creature I knew I had to help him. I knew I had to set him free.

As the blows rained down on me the pressure in my chest built and built, the betas eyes not leaving mine as he tore at me, I heard one of the watchers call out a cheer at the suffering that was going on and just like that the pressure had burst.

A scream of pain erupted out of me as my body snapped and twisted, growing and reshaping into the monstrous form of my wolf. The beta had backed away from me uncertainly, sensing the power in my shaky form.

The clearing had gone silent. Shocked at the sight in front of them.

I met the beta's eyes, trying to convey everything I felt, trying to let him see my remorse for him. And for that long moment I would later tell Markus that I had seen the flicker of who he once was in those summer eyes.

He made no move to stop me as I landed the blow that killed him.

I had made it quick, I didn't want him to suffer anymore than he already had.

After, my wolf form had melted away leaving my half dead human body laying broken and limp on the ground. I don't remember what happened after that. Only waking up in a bare room, not being able to move and the excited murmurs of the whitecoats nearby echoing around the empty space.

"Moth ?" I snap out of my memories and my eyes focus on the concerned faces around me.

My hands were shaking violently, and I felt the sting of unshed tears in my eyes.

 _No. Stop thinking about it._

"I need some air." I say, briskly rising from my seat and walking out to the front porch, sitting down on the swing. Closing my eyes I take deep, calming breaths to soothing the hurt from my past.

Markus had approached me shortly after I had killed the beta, when the whitecoats had finally let me out of the stark room they were keeping me in.

Sitting on the grass of the penned space, suffocating in my sorrow, wrapped in itchy bandages my wounds barely healing, the old man had sat down next to me and started chatting to me as if we had known each other all our lives, well as if he had known me all my short life. I was wary at first and didn't speak to him for weeks but that didn't deter him, he just kept talking and talking and talking. Until I talked back. Then he had stopped and just smiled at me with his huge toothy grin and we have been close ever since.

Footsteps alert me to a presence and I looked up to see Paul standing in the doorway.

"Hey." He says as he walks over and sits down next to me. I shuffle over so he can fit his muscular form into the space next to me. "You okay ?"

I nod, "I don't like thinking about the past. I got me and Caspar away from that place, I don't want to dwell on it."

"You can't just bury it Moth, that was your life up until a little while ago, it doesn't get erased just because you want it to. It's part of you, it's made you who you are."

I snort derisively, "And look at how I turned out. I've been fighting since I was five years old. I have nightmares and I can't relax in a crowd. I can't wallow in my past Paul. If I think about it I'll drown in it and I won't be able to keep going and I need to. Caspar needs me to."

Paul opens his mouth to reply but he is interrupted when Jacob runs up the steps of the front porch. He pauses when he catches sight of our serious expressions, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly, "er- sorry, I didn't interrupt anything did I ?"

I shake my head, " No. we were just talking. Why are you in such a rush anyway ?"

Jacob straightens his stance, his expression becoming serious, " I came to get you and Sam. The Cullen's want to meet you." Paul snarls, getting to his feet and standing in front of me. Jacob growls back and the front door swings open, the guys piling out to get between the two.

"Whats going on ?" Sam asks, emerging from the house.

"The Cullen's want to meet Moth. They want to meet us at the border tonight."

" They're not going anywhere near her." Paul growls.

" Easy Paul." Sam warns. "Why do they want to meet Moth."

" Bella mentioned what happened earlier and well they want to meet her for themselves. Edaward was pissed." Jacob snickered.

"Tell them no." Paul growls.

" She can make her own decisions." Jacob snaps back, Paul bares his teeth at the teen.

" It's alright Paul." I stand and place my hand on his back, looking at Jacob. " I don't want to get involved with any vampires Jacob, I'm sorry."

"They just want to meet you and talk Moth, you don have to have anything else to do with them afterwards, just speak to them this once. Bella wants to meet you properly too away from your territory so you not so.. protective."

I think it over, _Jacob's right. I'd only have to meet them once. It's good to know where the threats are._

My hand sooths over Paul's tense back as I think things over. He relaxes under my touch, turning to face me, his back to Jacob and the others. Taking my hand he holds it to the chest, thumb running over my scars as he seems to be getting in the habit of doing.

"You don't have to go. Don't go just because Jacob asked. You can just tell the leeches to go fuck themselves." Paul says, ignoring Jacobs grumbling indignation behind him. I smile at his words, earning a returning grin from the man. He steps closer to me, ignoring the snickering and wolf whistles of his pack mates behind him, his free hand coming up and resting on my cheek. Still wary of having a sudden strong connection to someone other than Markus and Caspar I don't lean into his hand right away but he doesn't say anything just waits for me to relax. He looks me over and sighs "I'll go with you if you want to go."

"Who will stay with Caspar ?" Jacob runs with my question as if I'd just agreed to go.

" Seth and Quil will stay and we'll call Jared over too." He nods to the teen who until now name I didn't know. I look around Paul at the others.

Seth and Quil nod in agreement. Eyeing the teens and Jacobs hopeful face I nod, " _o_ _nce."_

His face brightens and he nods his head rapidly. "Once. I'll go tell Bella you agreed." He runs back down the porch and off in the direction of his house. The others murmur and go back into the house calling to Paul and me to come as they make a plan for this evening and my first, and only, meeting with the local vampire coven.

 _This is ridiculous. You're supposed to stay away from vampires, not meet up and have a chat with them._ I grumbly at myself for agreeing.

Paul watches me with understanding in his eyes. "We can still tell them no you know."

I lean into his hand that was still tracing the scars on my face, his eyes following the almost hypnotical movement. "I know. I'll do it this once for Jacob but that's it."

He nods and rests his forehead against mine. "I don't like the thought of them being near you."

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself. I'm pretty damn scary when I want to be." I tease.

He chuckles before our moment is interrupted by the stern voice of Sam calling us in for planning. My wolf stirs at the command wanting to rebel against the authority the wolf is using towards us, but I ignore it, enjoying the small moment of peace before the evening arrives.

Paul groans before grinning at me and turning and walking into the house, My hand still in his. I follow along, mind going over all the possibilities of this evening.

 _Relax. It will be fine. We'll meet, I'll listen to what they have to say come home and never have to see them again._

 _Easy._


	16. A Brief Encounter

_Authors note: Sorry for the late update, a lot is going on here, for one thing I'm in the middle of moving so my whole schedule is a bit up in the air at the moment , I'm trying to write in any free time I get so just bare with me for a little while._

* * *

 **.16.**

"Easy." I mutter to myself, feeling the tingling at my fingertips of my claws wanting to push through.

Paul in his giant wolffish form brushed against me, eyeing me pointedly. Nodding, I shake my hands out and breath in the clean forest air, growling agitatedly when even that couldn't offer relief as the stench of vampires became steadily stronger the further we walked. I was the only one in my human form, crowded in the middle of the pack of huge wolfs. Sam leading, Jacob and Paul on either side of me flanking Sam and Leah bringing up the rear.

I had spent the rest of the day with Caspar and Emily, and Seth after he and the pack had finished talking over tonight's plans. We played around in the garden for most of the day before making our way back inside to cook dinner. I was pleased to realise how adept Emily was in the kitchen, together we churned out enough food that seemed to be required to feed the group of muscled boys, Casper helping of course, and had the table set and filled in no time. We had all dug in, me sitting between Paul, who piled my plate with food after frowning at my light eating, and Caspar who ate with gusto at the encouragement of a chuckling Seth. The chatter around the table was lighthearted staying away from the subject of tonight's meeting, I wasn't sure whether to be thankful about that or not as the pressure in my chest was no lessened by the deliberate avoidance. After I'd given the people who were staying with Caspar the rundown on his new nightly routine before being reassured by an undertanding Emily who waved me off to get ready. Quickly getting changed into some loose clothes that were ideal in case of any trouble, a move that Sam acknowledged with a knowing look. I smothered a giggling Caspar with a barrage of hugs and kisses before passing him off to Seth's waiting arms. Following the guys out to the front and respectfully looking the other way as they stripped and shifted, cheeks burning as I felt the amused gaze of Paul. He bumped into me playfully to let me know I could look and I shoved him back mock growling at his wolffish grin

Walking towards the meeting point the tension in my body was palpable, my wolf prowled under my skin wanting to break through and put an end to the source of the strengthening stench.

Coming up to the agreed clearing the coven came into view. There were five of them standing unnaturally still. I hear a small gasp as we come to a stop in front of them and feel their eyes taking in my equally pale form. Paul lays down next to me while the others fan out either side of us.

The more mature looking blonde man who seemed to be the patriarch of the family stepped forward, a warm greeting and an easy smile on his lips. "Evening, you must be Moth, I'm Carlisle and this is my family. we decided that we would bring the same amount of people as you so it wouldn't be so overwhelming. You could meet the rest of us another time perhaps." I nod mutely, before remembering that I'm here to _talk_ to the vampires.

"I appreciate that."

He smiles a little wider and the darker haired woman behind him smiles too, the others have a variation of serious expressions on their faces, especially a scarred, curly haired blonde, his expression looked especially severe. The ice-blonde man gestures to to woman, who steps up next to him, his arm automatically wrapping around her slim waist. "This is my wife, Esme. And these are our sons, Emmet," he gestures to the dark haired giant to his left then the stern looking blonde, "Jaspar and you've already met Edward." The bronze haired teen nods at me.

Having agreed to try for Jacob and I thought I may as well be cicvil if we were only meeting this once I dicided to make and effort. Nodding back at the teen and softening the tenseness in my body then turn to look back at the blonde patriarch. " What is it you wanted to meet me about ?"

" We were curious about you and we wanted to make sure there weren't any misunderstanding after the recent event. Edward tells us that you reacted badly to meeting him. Which leads me to assume that you know about us. About what we are." He still has a small smile on his face but his eyes are sharp, assessing my every movement.

"Yes. I know what you are. And I don't want that sort of trouble anywhere near my child."

"We would never hurt a child." The woman says vehemently, standing straighter.

"Maybe. Maybe not." I shrug. The dark haired, hulk grunts in irritation, arms crossing tightly over his chest. I shifted my stance in turn. Paul shifts closer, pressing against my leg centering my attention. My hand unclenches and I rest it on his fur, digging my fingers through the coarse outer fur to the downy softness underneath.

Looking back to the coven I see them all staring at me, faces showing their curiosity. The strained looking Jaspar's gaze running over the scars on my face, I return the favour. Taking in the multitude of silver bite marks that cover his skin. Meeting the young man's eyes I feel the tension leave my body, replaced by a calmness that I had never felt in a vampires presence. I tilt my head curiously and he mirrors the movement.

The soft, ringing voice of Esme draws my gaze. "How do you know about us ? You don't smell like a wolf and you don't look Quileute if you don't mind me saying."

"I'm not Quileute. I know about your kind because there were vampires where I was raised." Brief memories automatically flash over my mind as they always do when I mention my past.

"They were cruel to her." Edward says suddenly, stepping forward next to Esme and Carlisle. The wolves stand at his sudden movement and the other two vampires stepped forward to flank the others. Edward stares deep into my eyes, a hard expression on his face. "She's not born a wolf. They made her a wolf."

"How do you know that?" I ask, hands shaking, claws growing. Paul snarls at the bronze haired teen, Emmet hisses back.

"Edward enough, she's upset." Esme says, eyebrows drawn worriedly.

" How do you know that ?" I ask again as I move towards the vampire, the wolves crowd around me, trying to stay between me and the coven. "Do you know them ? Are you one of them ?" My nostrils flare and chest heaves with the heavy breaths of my trembling body. my pupils are blown and the hairs on my body were stood on end with my iminent shift. My heart pounds faster as I see the look on the vampires face. "You know them !" I feel the calming feeling pushing at me, trying to smother down my escalating temper but I push it away with a snarl at the scarred vampire.

Sam moves his head from Paul to me, signaling an order to Paul.

I feel a jerk of movement next to me then suddenly a scowling and very naked Paul is standing in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulder and pushes me back a step. "Moth, you can't fight them."

My crane my head trying to look around Paul's massive form to the bronze haired vampire beyond him. "He knows them. I can see it in his face. He knows them !"

Paul casts a quick glance over his shoulder towards the teen. "That true ?"

Edward addresses his answer towards his coven "Volturi." Is all he says. The other members look visibly shocked and start talking rapidly to each other.

 _They know people from the facility._

A crashing sense of fear settles in my chest. Catching the others off guard I spin and start tearing my way back out the clearing and back to the house, the sound of calling echoing through the forest around me.

I feel like I'm running blind through the forest, I can't focus on anything but the needs to get back to my baby.

 _They know them and they know where we are. The human knows where we live._

I don't take long to get to the house, not slowing as I speed up the porch swinging the door open, I storm down the hallway, heading towards the sound of quiet talking from the dinning room.

The people in the room turn to look at me as I march in, surprised by my state, I make a beeline for the cupboard I had stashed all our money in and started to pull out the tins I had kept it in, rushing to other cupboards to pull out food. Markus immediately tries to stand to come to me but his injuries made him week and his exhausted muscles strain to push him up out of the seat, giving up he tries to get my attention by speaking to me. "Moth what's wrong ? What are you doing ?"

"We have to leave. They know _them_ Markus. We have to leave." Markus's face pales.

"What ? You can't leave !" Seth says, snapping out of his shock. The others look between each other unsure how to react.

"No you can't." The deep voice of Paul grumbles from behind me. He and the guys filter into the room filling the space with their large frames.

"What's going on ?" Jared asks the others. "What happened ?"

Paul's eyes don't leave mine. "You can't leave Moth."

"They know them Paul. The girl knows where we live. We can't stay. We have to leave."I look into his eyes imploring him to understand.

"Where would you even go ?" Leah's sharp tone asks.

" I don't know but we have to leave." I turn from Paul and resume frantically gathering items.

He walks over to me and rests his hand on my arm. Snapping my attention to him. "You can't go. You have nowhere to go and what about Markus, he's injured."

"I don't know but we can't stay here now."

" You don't have to worry the Cullen's aren't going to say anything and even if these Volturi did come after you we would protect you and Caspar." Jacob says determinedly.

" You don't know what they're capable off. They'll kill him if they find us." I say, worrying my hands nervously, "that's why we left."

"What ? Markus ?" Seth asks.

"No." I shake my head, looking around the room, meeting the knowing look on Markus's face before looking back at the others. "Caspar. They want to kill Caspar."


	17. Caspar

**.17.**

"Alright. Now lets talk about this. Just tell us what is going on, then we'll figure out a way to help. No more questions, just tell us Moth." Sam's voice was the softest I'd heard it directed at me.

I was sat around the dining room wolves, minus Leah and Quil who left to go on patrol, were sat around me. After my outburst Sam and the others had arrived, and upon seeing my distraught state had set about, with the help of Markus, trying to calm me down, and after many refusals on my part they had eventually convinced me to at least sit down and discus the situation so that we could find a solution and not make any unwise, rash decisions.

Paul sat opposite my position, a hard look on his face trying to meet my eyes but I avoided his gaze, eyes firmly set on the tabletop. Markus was next to me, worn hand resting on my arm in support. He looked at me, nodding at my returning look. _He wants me to trust them completely._

Pursing my lips, I hesitate to give away the information they need. The information that put my babies life at risk.

I sigh, running my hand through my tangled locks. Looking around at the attentive gazes of the pack. Sighing again, I give in. _They need to know._

"In the months leading up to my fourteenth birthday I noticed that the whitecoats were acting strange. They were excited about something and when they acted like that it meant bad news for me." Ignoring the intensity of the guys attention I go on with my story. "For a While nothing happened. Then, on my birthday they get the armed guys to swarm me, they cuff me and drag me out of my room and down Into one of the operating strap me down to a table and strap my legs into those metal things. What are they called ?" I turn to look at Markus questioningly.

" Gynacoligal stirrups." He answers, voice hard and his grip on my arm tightening in his anger,

I nod, "yeah, those. So they strap me down and that's when I realise what they are planning, I heard that they were doing the same thing on some of the famale Betas, anyway, Once I was secure they sedated me. I woke up later in a white room on a metal table and I can hear the whitecoats talking to each other, but they're out of my sight line and I'm too tired to move. I hear them say that the procedure was a success and that my cells were multiplied before I fell back asleep and woke up back in my room later."

" Wait, what did they do to you ?" Seth asks, a confused frown on his face. I sigh, _so much for no questions._

"They inseminated me." I say blankly. I hear gasps and Paul snarl viciously across from me, I look up to see him trembling violently.

"Paul. If you can't control yourself go outside and cool off." Sam says sternly.

"No I want to hear the rest." He growls out. Furious gaze not leaving my face.

I don't continue for a moment, watching Paul carefully. He was breathing heavily through his nose, his chest heaving with the harsh breaths. "Go on." He growls.

Taking a deep breath, my hands trembling, but not from anger, I reluctantly go on. " I was very carefully monitored. More than I had been in my entire time there. They rarely even let me out into the yard and I was constantly under testing. It hadn't gone well with the Betas. None of them had survived long enough for the baby to be removed and survive outside of the carriers. They didn't want the same to happen to me but were willing to risk it for a superior specimen I guess." I shrug my shoulders, eyes planted back onto the smooth surface of the table.

"They were trying to make a better version of you ?" Embry questioned softly.

I nod. "I'm bigger than the rest of the specimens and I'm the only one that can shift completely between my two forms. None of their attempts to recreate my result on other people were successful so they theorised that it would be successful if the specimen was linked directly to my genetics. They figured that if I was producing these results as a young female, then a male would be even bigger and more aggressive. Plus I had some kinks they wanted smoothed out in the next alpha specimen."

"So do you knows who's, er- the donor ?" Seth asks awkwardly.

"No." There'd been a period after Caspar had been born when my eyes would roam around in search of familiar features that my baby might have inherited, but there were many dark haired Beta males, none with the pale green eyes of my child. After a while I had given up and come to the realisation that whoever his donor was didn't matter. Capsar was my son. No one else's.

"Can you tell us the rest of the story Moth ?" Jareds voice draws my attention back to the waiting group. Shaking my previous thought line from my mind I go back to telling my story.

"They started to relax after a while. My health was fine, I was uncomfortable all the time but they told me that was normal and to expect it to get worse the bigger I got."

"She was so tiny." Markus said softly. "She was so little with this huge swell at her abdomen. She could barely move around sometimes." His voice was shaky with the weight of his memories, I rest my hand on his and squeeze softly. Turning back to face the others.

"I started declining when I was around six and a half months along. I was dropping weight rapidly and I could barely move. I would sleep all the time and rarely managed to get up. They kept me monitored for a little while before the decided that my decline had gone far enough and they were aborting the experiment." I breathed in a shaky breath. "They induced me when I was seven months. I knew it was too soon. I tried to get away but they sedated me. I tried to fight it off but I couldn't. I'm not really sure what happened next. I know that my heart stopped beating for a while, one of the whitecoats told me later when I was having an examination."

The table was vibrating with the strength of Paul's tremors by now. My leg was bouncing rapidly under the table and my hand were tapping restlessly on the tabletop.

"I don't remember what happened but the next thing I know I was awake and was standing over my baby with a blade to my throat screaming that if he died then I'd die too. I must have been pretty convincing because they rushed to do what I said. I didn't let them fix me even after Caspar was stable and I refused to drop the bade. Eventually they had to call in one of the black ties and he came in and said he wanted to negotiate. He told me that since the baby was alive there was no need to kill him because that made the whole thing a success, but I still demanded that Caspar stay with me the whole time, not be handed of to some strangers. He was against it at first but I convinced him in the end and they let me keep him and raise him. I didn't let them do any of the stuff they did to me on him or threatened to kill myself. Anyway, Caspar stayed with me and I raised him as best I could, probably why we're so attached to each other, I couldn't let him out of my sight in case they snatched him from me. And I lived in fear of that everyday. I still do."

"They're not getting anywhere near Him." Paul growls, more growls rumble around the room in agreement.

I feel Sam watching me intently so I turn and meet his eyes. "So, why do they want to kill him ?" He asks.

I suck in a deep breath. "It was easier to negotiate Caspar's life when they thought he was like me. Better than me." I eye him pointedly, willing him to understand.

"But he's not ?"

"No." I breath. "I knew he wasn't of course, I could smell it since he was a baby, but I wouldn't let them near him so they didn't find out. But they started to suspect, and they observed more carefully and I knew that I had to get him away because there would be no negotiating when they found out."

The guys whatch me closely. "When they find out what ?"

my breathing becomes more erratic, breathing deeply I force the truth that I had kept hidden for so long past my dry lips.

"Caspar's Omega."


	18. Stay

**.18.**

There was silence around the room.  
Confused looks on everyone's faces. I growl frustratedly, scraping my wild curls away from my face.  
The guys look between each other before Embry speaks up cautiously. "What does that mean exactly ?"  
"It means he's a failure." Markus says bluntly. I growl at the term, on edge from the evening. "In their eyes." He soothes.  
"But didn't you say that we're Omegas ? So he's a wolf ?" Seth asks.  
"Exactly. He takes after our heritage. He carries the genes to shift, there's a chance that his wolf side would present itself or he could stay human. Moth shifted at the age of five, but she had wolf signs since she was born, that's why they thought she was a Beta. She still does in her human form, they wanted to fix these things in Caspar but he's not even Beta."  
"You said that Beta's didn't look human, Moth is a little uh- unusual looking, but she still looks human." Jared says.  
"They're not as pronounced as the other Betas but she has some of the same characteristics."  
"So they found out about Caspar ?" Jacob asks, leading the conversation back to the main issue.  
"I'm not sure, but they were starting to suspect. They started watching him closer, and doing these little tests."  
"Like what ?" Seth asks curiously.  
"Nothing like what they did to me luckily, but once they just gave him a little electric shock as we walked past. I think they were trying to trigger him to shift. I didn't want to stay for it to escalate. "  
"Why would they kill him if he was an Omega, wouldn't they just use him like they used the others ?"  
"They knew that Moth would never allow that, she would rather slaughter everyone involved than let him go through that. She made it clear that things were different when it came to Caspar when she held that blade to her throat and demanded they save him. It was the first time that she had ever stood against them."  
There was silence around the room.

Pauls gaze bored into me from across the table. "You can't leave."

"I have to." I say looking into his eyes, pleadingly. "They'll kill him if they get their hands on him. "

"We'd never let that happen." He says adamantly, his body tensed as he stared me down.

"You don't know them. You don't know what they're capable of."

"Don't underestimate us. We're made to kill leeches." He growls coming to his feet, his body trembling violently.

"Don't underestermate _them._ They run a facility full of wolves, you think they don't know how to handle you ?" I rise to my feet, matching scowl on my face.

"Er. Guys ?" Seth says cautiously.

"Leaving is a stupid idea. What about Markus ? You think that you could drag him and Caspar away by yourself ? And what then ? Where would you even go ?"

"I don't know but I can't stay, _they know them Paul !_ And that human, she knows where we live." He growls at my raised tone, and shakes his head at my reasoning.

"You can't leave !"

My wolf snarls In frustration, my teeth elongating and claws curving wickedly out of my finger tips.

"Enough." Sam's hard voice breaks through the tense atmosphere. Snapping my attention from Paul's furious form I look around the room at the cautious glances of the guys looking between Paul and I.

"I need some air." I growl before turning and making my way out onto the front porch.

Taking deep breaths in through my nose I pace up and down the porch shaking the tension from my arms and the wolf from my system, pushing the shift back down.

 _We have to go. We can't stay. If we stay it's not just Caspar I'm putting in danger._

My mind raced through multiple different scenarios. If anyone from the facility found out where we were it would tear through the idyllic peace of the Rez. If the wolves stood between them and us they would be destroyed. I couldn't let that happen. Steeling my resolve I spin and move to walk back into the house, only to bump into the solid wall of muscle that is Paul.

His arms come up and wrap around my waist as he pulls me close to his scorching body, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I shudder at the contact and he growls and holds me tighter.

"Don't leave." He murmurs against my throat, lips brushing my skin as he utters the soft plea.

My heart pounds in my chest, the heat of his body seeping into my skin, relaxing the tension in my muscles. I slump bonelessly into his arms, his earthy scent surrounding me. My hand run up his arms as I rise onto my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck, one hand resting against his broad back, the other running through the short hair at the base of his skull as I push my nose against the side of his neck inhaling his scent deeply.

He groans at my actions, one hand moving from my waist up under my shirt and rests it on my lower back, hand splayed across my pale skin. "Please Moth. Stay." I don't reply I just hold him tighter.

he pushes away a little so he could see my face, he take his other hand off my waist and rests it against my cheek, thumb brushing against my lip, setting tingles on pleasure through my nerves. I lean into his hand, not looking away from his deep brown eyes.

"We'll talk to the Cullen's. Make them understand. Jake doesn't think there will be any issues but we'll make sure. We'd never let anything happen to you or Caspar, Moth. Stay." His forehead rest against mine, one brushing my own.

"They'll kill you." I whisper. "They'll tear this place apart until they find us."

"They won't find out you're here. We'll make sure of it. If they ever did find out and you had to run I'll go with you. I'll take you and Caspar away from here. You can't run Moth, you don't know what the world is like, you wouldn't get by. Stay, let us help you. Stay." He breaths.

"But what if they get hold of Caspar ?"

"They won't." His hand sooths up and down my back, fingers ticking down the curve of my spine, his lips brushing against mine as he whispers his reassurances.

My beast seemed to purr and preen under my skin, wanting to rub our body against his and soak up his scent and his warmth. My eyes search his, emotions rolling through me, clashing with the want to run and hide from the threats of the facility and the need to stay with this man. To stay with my imprint.

 _I want to stay with him._

"Stay Moth."

I feel my head nodding against his, unable to speak at the intensity of his eyes and the crushing emotion toiling through my body.

 _You'll be putting everyone in danger if you stay._

"Say it." He rumbles, "say you'll stay." His lips brush tantalisingly against mine, my breath comes out in a little hiccup.

 _You're being selfish._

"I'll stay." I whisper.

He exhales harshly as his tension melt from his body and his hand moves from my cheek round the back of my neck as he finally presses his lips to mine.

 _I'll stay with you._


	19. The date

**.19.**

 _"No !" Caspar squeals, running down the garden away from me._

 _"Come back here you cheeky monkey !" I take off after him, making short time of reaching and scooping him up into my arms. "This is revenge !" I rub my cheeks into his face and burying my face into his neck, smearing the paint Caspar had sneakily planted on my cheeks all over him._

 _"No mama !" He laughs, "tickles !" He wriggles in my arms to get away from me, cheeks red under the paint from laughing. I sink down onto the grass holding onto the squirming toddler and laying him down on the grass between my legs as I lean over him and tickle his sides. "Give up !" He breaths "I give up !" Laughing I flop down on my back next to his breathless form, closing my eyes and enjoying the peaceful moment together. We lay there for a moment, the surrounding are silent except for the rustling of the forest in the breeze._

 _Then I smell the blood._

 _My eyes open and I stare at the clear blue sky, deceptively peaceful as the smell gets stronger. Holding my breath I slowly turn my head to look over to see the familiar landscape of my garden gone replaced with a bare field, the sparse space edged in dense forestry._

 _Dead wolves lay scattered over the area. Their huge forms gored, beyong repair._

 _my breathing turns erratic, my chest heaving._

 _I hear a wet gargling sound next to my ear, my head snaps round to see Caspar's panicked eyes staring back at me. His throat shredded, life flowing from him, staining the grass_ _red._

 _"Caspar." I whisper, tears streaming down my face._

 _My body won't move._

 _"Mama." His eyes are hooded and he struggles to focus on me, a small smile on his bloodied lips. "You stayed."_

 _The life left his eyes,_

 _And I screamed._

* * *

Jolting up in bed I sigh heavily and run my hands through my knotted hair.

 _Another nightmare._

Shaking the panick from my system I turn to check on the sleeping Caspar. Head snuggled into the pillow, dark hair covering his face, a few strands lifting with his breaths. He looked peaceful, my sudden awakening had not roused him from his slumber. Pushing his hair from his face I press a small kiss into his cheek, sweeping my thumb across his cheek, the scab that was there completely gone now, before getting up and heading to the bathroom to wash the remnants of the unpleasant dream away.

After I showered and dressed I walk into the kitchen to make some tea and make my way out onto the front porch to sit on the porch swing. Sinking heavily into the seat I can't help but think over yesterday's events.

After the kiss Paul had just held me for a long while, pressing small pecks against my jaw and brushing kisses against my lips. Even after we went back into the house he held my hand and kept his hands on me the whole time. The guys had been happy I'd decided to stay, after smirking at my red face peeking out behind Paul after he'd lead me back into the house, I had sat back down at the table with just Sam and Paul this time, we talked over some stuff and Sam assured me that we would make sure that the word about me and Caspar being here was not going to get back to the facility and he had set Jacob the task of talking to the Cullen's with Quil and Embry going along with him before they got up and left, gesturing for Paul to follow as he had patrol. Paul had paused on the doorstep sweeping his thumb against my knuckles as he waited for the others to move out of earshot. Stepping close to me he had asked me to go on a date with him. I was unsure, not knowing if it was safe until The pack spoke to the coven and not knowing any date etiquette but those doubts flew out the window when Paul laughed and brushed more soft kisses agains my lips murmuring reassurances, so I'd agreed, which earned me a firmer kiss much to my delight. He left with a backwards glances and an instruction to be ready my six tomorrow night.

I was nervous about tonight. Not knowing what to expect or how to act on a date. Sighing I think over what I'd overheard at the facility. I'd thought dates were a bad thing as everything I'd heard about them was bad, some of the staff quickly brushing a stray tear, murmurings about wet kisses and foul breath with a chorus of fake gags in accompaniment, exclamation of 'douche bag' dates and 'lousy lays', but Paul had asked me and I couldn't imagine anything with Paul inciting these reactions.

Confused I walk into the house to see Markus laying across the sofa, he smiles at me as I walk in. "Hey, how are you feeling ? Do you want some tea ?"

"I'd love one, and I'm feeling fine, just a little sore, nothing to worry about, you know I hate it when you start worrying."

I shake my head at the old man, walking to the kitchen to make a fresh cup of tea and a new one for Markus. I walk back in to see him breathing heavily as he struggles to sit up. I raise my eyebrow at him, smiling as he growls at me before finally getting himself comfy and taking the tea from my hand. I sit in the free space next to him, tucking my feet underneath me, facing him. "What do you do on a date ?" I ask.

He looks over at me curiously, "why do you want to know that ?"

"Paul asked me on a date.

Markus scoffs. "He seems like a player, I see the way he hangs all over you. Probably just wants to get in the new girls pants." He shakes his head.

"He's not like that."

"Sure. I know guys like him and they ain't nothing but trouble. Heck, he's probably got a line of hookups that he can call if he's wanting someone to warm his bed, he shouldn't be bothering you."

"He's my imprint." I scowl, causing the old man to nearly choke on his tea.

"What !?" His eyes search mine. "You're serious ?" I nod my head. "I wish you'd mentioned that earlier, now I feel like an ass."

"You are an ass." I reply, shaking my head at the old man. I feel his hand touch my leg, squeezing apologetically.

"I'm sorry. I'm a grumpy, old ass, who doesn't think anyone's ever going to be good enough for you." I roll my eyes but put my hand on his and squeeze back. "Best thing to do on a date is be yourself." I huff frustratedly as I hear a knock at the door.

"You're no help." He laughs as I rise to answer the door.

"Morning Moth." A very cheerful Emily says as I open the door.

"Morning, what are you doing here ?" I ask confused.

"I'm taking you shopping !" She pushes me through the house, waving goodmorning to a very amused Markus as she ushers me into the bedroom and pulls the blanket back from a drowsy Caspar. "Come on now get ready, we've got a lot to do before tonight."

"Paul told you about the date ?" I ask as I lead Caspar into the bathroom.

"He asked me to help you get ready so hurry up, we've got to get into town." She orders.

I hurriedly get Caspar ready.

When I emerge, Emily is chatting happily away to Markus, she rushes over to me and drags me towards the door. "What about Markus ?" I ask looking back at the smirking old man.

"Jacob and Billy are on their way round, they'll be here shortly."

"Don't worry about me Moth, I'll be fine for a couple of minutes. You just have fun." He chuckles at the disbelieving expression on my face as I'm dragged out the door by the older woman.

* * *

Emily is a force of nature.

"Mama!"

"Yes baby ?" I say looking away from the flowy fabric in my hand and towards my excited toddler. He was carrying a large pile of t-shirts in his arms, his dark hair barely visible over the top.

"Can I get ? Please ?"

"You don't need that many Cass, you have plenty at home."

"But mama !" He says dropping the clothes to the floor and meeting my eyes head on with his pleading ones. Looking over my stubborn toddler I decide to make a compromise. I crouch down to his level and meet his gaze squarely. "You will pick these up and put them back where you got them from." His mouth opens to protest but I hold my hand up, " Once you put them back you can choose one that you want. That's it." I rise back to my feet going back to what I was doing.

"But I like them all." He whines.

"One. Or none at all." I say looking back over at him. Seeing that he wasn't going to get his way he huffs grumpily before gathering the shirts he dropped and running back over to where he got them from, bending down along the way to pick up the shirts he drops.

I shake my head at the clumsy tot.

"I don't know how you resist those eyes of his." Emily chuckles from next to me. Rummaging through the rails and pulling a few more items out before handing them over to me. She's been dragging me around town all day, carting me through a seemingly endless amount of shops, chatting about her past dates along the way. "Now go in there and try these on. We need to see what sort of clothes would suit you, I'd be able to see better if you didn't wear those baggy clothes all the time." She huffs pushing me over to an area with bored men waiting around. Emily shoves a pile of clothes into my arms and slides the curtain across the rail blocking me from view. Sighing I hang the clothes up and quickly strip and change into the first outfit. Slipping into the first dress, a small strapless thing that flowed from under the bust and floated delicately around my knees, I opened the curtain, holding the bust up as it slipped down if left unchecked.

"Why am I doing this again ?" I mutter as Emily spins me around and checks me head to toe.

"You need something to wear for your date with Paul tonight." She reminds me.

I feel the blush work it's way onto my cheeks. "Right." Emily laughs at flaming cheeks, pushing me back to try on another outfit.

My mind races as I struggle into the next dress, a skintight, pink little thing that squeezes my body in on itself and barely covers my ass. I step out to show Emily who snorts loudly at the grimace on my face, which draws attention to our little group. I catch one of the guys run his eyes up and down my constricted figure which set my nerves on edge and made me want to growl at the leering man, that urge was interrupted when a now cheerful Caspar came running over a bright, yellow t-shirt held firmly in his fist as he barrelled down the isle towards me. "Mama you look like a sausage !" He says gleefully planting himself on one of the waiting benches. I scowl at Emily as she burst out laughing causing Caspar to start giggling at the two of us. Growling I turn and stomp back into the changing room making quick work of rolling the horrid contraption off my body. "Why do I need a dress anyway, I've got clothes at home."

" Paul's taking you somewhere nice. You would stick out like a sore thumb if you go in your t-shirt and shorts combo." She replies through the curtain.

"It's not like I don't already." I mutter as I pull on the next dress and frown at my pale form in the dressing room mirror. My body swarmed in canary yellow florals.

"Oh enough of that now, come out and show me the dress, we've got to get shoes yet." I groan at the thought of more shopping pulling the curtain back to see a smiling Emily. She immediately starts inspecting the dress. I can't help but groan again as she orders me to spin, before shaking her head and sending me back to change.

This is going to be a long day.

* * *

"How do I look ?" I ask awkwardly, heels clicking against the floor as I walk into the living room where Markus, Billy, Sam, Jacob, Seth and Caspar sat. Wide eyes and open mouthed expressions greeted me. I ran my hands over the form fitting dress nervously. "That bad ?"

"No !" Emily says coming in from behind me and slapping her fiancé on the back of the head. "You look amazing. Right boys ?" She glares at the others.

"You look great !" Seth exclaims. The others nod in silent agreement. "I don't know why girls wear those things though." He says pointing to my feet, "how do you even walk in them ?" I laugh as I look down at the shoes in question, the tall contraptions Emily had dubbed 'killer heels' added a good few inches to my height and it was only my years of combat training that kept me upright and balanced in them otherwise I'd be stumbling around like a newborn calf.

"You want to try them ?" I ask playfully.

"Don't bother." Markus replies for him. " he wouldn't look half as good as you. You look magnificent my dear." I walk over to Markus and bend to kiss his cheek.

"Thanks old man."

I hear a knock at the door and my heart starts pounding.

"That will be him. Go on, everything will be fine here while you're gone." Billy says. I quickly say my goodbyes, giving Caspar a kiss and telling him to be good for everyone before making my way to the front door.

The smell of flowers greets me as I open the door. Paul holding the beatiful bunch of pale Lily's as he stares at me from the doorstep. He swallows hard and takes a step towards me, passing the bouquet to a giggling Emily, who had been attempting to spy on us, before he wraps his arms around my waist. I hear Emily leave to give us privacy and put the flowers in some water.

"You look." He shakes his head. "Incredible. I don't want to let you out of the house." He growls, causing me to blush.

"You look incredible too." I murmur shyly. And he did, the crisp white shirt and black dress pants showed of his huge form, the few buttons on his shirt left undone gave tantalising glimpses of the smooth, russet skin of his broad chest his warm eyes scorching a trail over my body as he takes in my appearance.

After a long day of shopping Emily had decided that the off the shoulder, red dress that ended just bellow my knees and 'hugged my figure in all the right ways' as she put it was the dress that was guarantied to drive Paul wild, but we weren't finished at the dress, we then had to trapes back through town for accessories. the whole day had only put me off shopping more, but the way he was looking at me made my day of retail torture worth it.

Pauls hand moved to my hair, shivers ran down my spine as he ran his fingers through the moonlight strands.

Emily had taken me to a place to get my hair done and the women there had marvelled at my mess of pale curls, awing and running their hands through it, admiring the thickness and length. It had taken a long time for them to straighten my unorderly locks, when they had finished it was pulled away from my face and cascaded down my back in a thick sheet of pale blonde, they asked to take some pictures to put on their wall to show customers but Emily had rushed me out the door citing that we were in a rush and had urgent business to attend to, namingly something called a pedicure.

Paul wraps some strands around his fingers, before unwinding it again and running his fingers down to the ends and repeating his actions. His other hand placed in the small of my back, thumb rubbing up and downs my lower spine. I press closer to him, my hands coming up to rest on his chest, causing him to groan and hold me tighter.

"Where are we going ?" I whisper, cheeks blazing and heart thumping. He presses his nose into the side of my neck, inhaling deeply, I move my head back to give him more access, hands clenching in his shirt. He presses a quick kiss on my pale skin before moving away from me, taking my hand and leading me out into the night, calling goodbyes over his shoulder.

"I'm taking you to a nice little Italian place." He glances back at me as he leads me towards a car. "You like Italian ?"

I've never really eaten Italian. "Sure."

* * *

"You really do look beautiful." Paul says from across the table.

He'd taken me into a little restuaraunt in Port Angeles. He told me he'd asked Sam about good places to and had told him that he knew someone who worked here and would be able to get us a table. The food was delicious, Paul had ordered enough to feed a small army and we had shared, me picking of platters and Paul devouring the rest. The conversation had been easy, though I was on edge from being in such a cramped space filled with people, Paul had sensed this, making skin contact as much as possible throughout the evening to keep my attention on him and not what was going on around us.

"Thank you." I run my hand over his open palm that rests on the table between us, using the other to mop up the sauce from the plates with the leftover bread, feeding mouthfuls to Paul In turn.

"I can't keep my eyes off of you." He murmured to me, hand closing over mine, eyes watchful as I licked the sauce from my fingers. "You're not enjoying it here right ?" His eyes meet mine, to looking upset in the least.

"I'm just not used to being around so many people. But I've loved this, I don't understand why the people from the facility hated it so much, I don't want this date to end."

"They're just not going with the right people." He snorts. Gesturing to the waiter he asks for a check, a short while later he settles the bill and moves around the table to pull my chair out and help me to my feet. "I didn't mean for us to leave." I say quickly.

"Relax. The dates not ending, we're just getting out of here, it's too stuffy." He leads me out into the cool air and back towards the car.

"Where are we going ?" I ask when he sits himself in the drivers side.

"Somewhere I like to go when I want to be away from everyone."

...

The waves lapped at the shore lazily, the sound soothing. Paul had driven us back to La Plush and taken me to the beach. The sand soft between my bare toes, as I had abandoned my heel in the car. Paul walked ahead of me turning to look back at me with a smile on his face.

"Better ?" He asks.

I nod "This is where I first met you."

"What ?" He asks confused. Stopping and turning fully towards me.

"This is where I saw you in my dreams, you were laying by the trees and Caspar and I were walking along the sand." _And then everything went to hell in a hand basket._

"And how do I compare in real life to my dream version." He asks, a teasing grin on his face.

My odd eyes meet his dark ones. He'd unbuttoned his shirt and it was swaying around him in the soft breeze.

"You both look at me the same way." He quirks his eyebrow.

"And how's that ?"

"Like you want to devour me." I breath.

His breath escapes him in a harsh exhale. "Shift." He says

"What ?" I ask, confused about the sudden turn in conversation.

"I want to see you. Shift."

I shake my head. "You've seen my wolf. You treated me like a monster." Hurt from that particular moment laced my voice.

"No." He steps towards me, hands gripping onto my arms. " I was just shocked. I wasn't expecting you to look so different, I thought you'd look like us. Leah's an ass but we couldn't let her get hurt. No matter how much she deserved it." He muttered that last bit.

"She attacked me, I was only defending myself."

"I know." His hand comes up to cup my cheek. " I know. I'm sorry. I promise something like that won't ever happen again. I've been thinking about this since that moment. I know things have happened to you and I know you don't want to tell me everything but I need to know everything about you, it's like a pull in my chest to get as close to you as possible, so I need you to trust me and you don't, at least, not completely."

"I do trust you." I say, resting my forehead against him."

He presses a kiss against my temple, pushing away from me. "Then shift for me."

Watching him I see the seriousness in his eyes. He needs me to do this.

 _And I need him to accept my wolf._

Taking a deep breath I shake the tension from my hands and start to call forward my wolf but Paul holds his hands up to stop me suddenly. Seeing my dejected look he shakes his head and holds his hands out to reassure me. "I haven't changed my mind, but could you take the dress off ? I don't want it to get torn up."

I cant help the giggle the burst from my lips. "You really like this dress, huh ?"

His answering grin is wicked sharp as his eyes trail down the dress and back up to meet my eyes. "Hell yeah."

I sigh in resignation. "Turn around then." He mock pouts but does as I say. Quickly reaching back I unzip the dress and wriggle out of it, hurriedly picking it up off the sand and folding it neatly before placing it off to the side. I turn back to Paul, eyes roaming across his broad back. "Don't turn around until I've shifted."

I see his head nod. Taking in a deep breath, I feel my pupils dialate as goosebumps erupt over my body, nails growing, fangs slinging down from my jaw.

 _I hope he won't regret this._ Is my last thought before I let my wolf out from beneath my skin.


	20. Meeting

**.20.**

Paul POV-

She was a terrible beauty.

All long limbs, lean muscle, deadly teeth peeking out from her muzzle. Not human and not wolf, but an unnatural blend of the two.

She was breathtaking.

Sat back on her haunches, her long, fur covered arms in front of her, resting on her knuckles, wicked claws curved across her palms, she screamed danger. Yet her eyes, filled with that underplaying sadness she kept in her human form, watched me with trepidation. Waiting anxiously for my reaction as though her happiness depended on what I did next.

Squaring my shoulders I step forward, palm outstretched, inviting contact. She whines lowly, lowering her head, moving forward until her cold nose brushes my palm. Seeing that I didn't jerk away from her she pressed forward, rubbing her huge form against my side, a cat-like rumble pouring from her chest as though she was purring. She circles around me, keeping her body pressed tightly to mine, she swipes her tongue over my palm, causing me to chuckle.

Her eyes meet mine and I see the relief in them. Laying my hand on her head I dig my fingers into her thick, white fur, moving them to scratch at the base of her ears, as she rumbled her pleasure. My other hand moved over the raised curve of her spine, noting the visible bumps and the jutting out of her ribcage. _She needs to eat more._ My wolf stirred with the need to provide for our mate.

digging my fingers deeper through the lush coat I felt the lines of the scars that covered her human body. The lines that dashed across her skin, that hinted to the horrors of her past had enraged me at first, only of the smooth feel of her beneath my rough palms soothed the wolfs need to find and destroy the cause of such horrific reminders of all she'd endured. Now I couldn't help but touch. My hands always seemed to gravitate to any pale expanse of soft skin that they could reach, tracing the extensive collection of scars as though I could erase them with my touch or sooth the old hurt she carried in her eyes.

She plopped down by my feet, pressing her head closer to my hand, urging me to continue my administrations, that ever present rumble becoming louder when I dug my fingers more firmly into the fur around her ears.

"Are you sure you're a wolf ? Sound more like the little tabby cat my mom keeps." I snicker. She huff in irritation, rising to her feet, she flashes me a sharp little glare and rises up onto her hind legs, stretching up, she towers over me as she throws her head back, muzzle raised to the night air and howls. The haunting sound of the familiar call sends shivers down my spine and trembles race over my body as she calls to my wolf.

"Moth." I rasp.

Sitting back on her haunches she looks at me, challenge in her eyes as she throws her head back and howls long and loud into the night again.

She wants to meet My wolf.

Letting out a shuddering breath I start to strip quickly, rushing as I feel my wolf rush through my body to answer her calls. Dumping my clothes into a pile I feel my body heat up as it shakes violently.

I give into my wolf as I shift to meet my mate.

* * *

Moth POV-

I whimper at the sight of his wolf. His huge, dark-silver form similar but so different to my engineered blend of human and lupine.

He starts to circle around me, eyes staring straight into mine, nose twitching as he scents me. I duck low, showing submition and trying to make myself as small as possible. He freezes, then cautiously makes his way over to me. He nudges me with his nose and licks my muzzle, rubbing his huge head against mine. I cautiously return the action, burying my nose against his throat, inhaling his comforting scent, feeling the pleased rumble in his chest at my action. He nudges me, backing away into the trees, showing me he wants me to follow. Carefully moving after him, he leads me deeper into the woods before slowing a crouching low, mimicking his movements I creep up next to him to see what he is seeing.

A Small herd of deer grazed just ahead of us.

He wants to hunt.

My instincts surge, wolf excited to hunt with our imprint. He steps forward slightly, eyeing me pointedly, asking if he needs to lead me in this hunt.

I flash my fang in a wolffish grin, and slowly walk away from him, circling around the back of the heard as they grazed unaware. His drake eyes follow my movement and I feel his anticipation as he realises my plan, he crouches lower into the shrubs ready for what's to come. I continue around the herd, poising myself behind them, waiting a moment to make sure none sense any danger before I coil myself, ready to spring into action, I catch Paul's eyes, they flash excitedly as he surges from his hiding spot.

The deer panick spinning to run from the huge wolf, leaping over knarled tree roots straight into my waiting claws.

* * *

Birds chirped as woke, the fresh smell of the forest swirled across my senses and an immense heat cocooned me. Cracking my eyes open confused, I was confronted with the plush forest ground. Frowning I began to sit up but something was coiled around me and tightened as I tried to move. Looking over my shoulder I felt myself relax at the sight of Paul, face relaxed as he curled into my back.

My very naked back. Flushing, I look around, seeing no clothes in sight, and none on Paul for that matter, I hastily wriggly out of his blazing hold and frantically search for something to cover myself with.

 _Why am I out here ?_

Memories of hunting and play fill my mind, and I flush of the memory of us finding a small hollow in the roots of collapsed tree and curling up together and falling asleep to the steady beat of Paul's heart.

I hear chuckling behind me. Snapping my head round To see Paul, a huge grin on his face as he watches me. His hand coming up to take a strand of my wild hair, curling and uncurling it around his fingers. "Morning." His voice is husky in the morning. He lays his arm out across the ground, inviting me back to to his arms.

"Morning." I can feel the vivid flush of my cheeks as I turn and lay my head across his arm. Only heating more when he moved his other hand up to brush my cheek and twirl my hair back around his fingers.

"How are you feeling ?"

"I'm fine, shifting hurts but it goes quickly."

"Shifting hurts you ?" A frown creases his brow as he asks, concerned,

"A bit. But it's over quickly." nodding, eyes roaming over my face, a small frown still marring his brow. Quickly moving forward I place a quick kiss on his lips, blushing at the smirk that appears. He moves towards me this time, brushing his lips against my burning cheeks, moving across and placing a quick kiss on the tip of my nose and moving down to press firmly against my lips. Pulling away he rests his forehead against mine and chuckles. Opening his eyes I look at him, questioningly.

"The guys aren't going to let me hear the end of this." Confused for a moment the chirp of birds pierces through the morning fog in my mind and my eyes widen comically before I bolt up and start looking around the are for our clothes.

"Moth ?"

"I Wasn't suppose to be out _all_ night. Caspar's going to get up soon." Frantically looking around, I throw my hands up in frustration, turning around to a lounging Paul. "Where are our clothes ?"

"Relax, they're at the beach, were not far." Getting to his feet when he's sees the expression to my face he walks over to me and rests his hands on my arms. "It's fine. Wait here and I'll go get them, the beach isn't far from your house, you'll be home before he wakes up." He reassures me. He places a lingering kiss against my lips before going off to collect our clothes. Nodding I watch as he jogs off towards the beach, blushing at the sight of his bare ass.

looking around our bed for the night an absurd memory flashes through my mind. One of the facility workers gushed get about the party she'd been to the night before and the embarrassment of going home in the same clothes, calling it 'the walk of shame.'

Groaning, I bury my face in my hands.

Markus is going to love this.

* * *

"So how was your date ?" Markus asks over the stack of cards he's dealing out between him and Billy, I hear Billy make a noise to show he was interested in the answer too. Looking away from the soapy dishes in my hand and over at the curious old men I keep a carfully bland expression on my face.

"Alright." I shrug, fighting the goofy grin that threatened to break out as my mind raced over the events of last night.

"Just alright ? Come on, tell us how it went." Billy chimes in, looking up from the card game he was playing with Markus.

I think it over a moment. "Better that expected." I say blandly, not giving him anything he could use to tease me with later.

"Oh you're no fun. Give us one detail at least ! I fell asleep before you got home and that was late, so it must have been good." He says, exasperated at my short answers.

I pretend to mull it over. Thanking all my lucky stars that the beach was so close to my house and I had managed to get home and changed before anyone woke. "The food was good. I really like Italian. Maybe I should cook it for you. Have you had Italian before Billy ?"

Markus replies before Billy has a chance to. " Of course he has ! I would prefer you make your stew though." He grumps turning back to his card game.

" It's been a while since I made that, would you like to stay for dinner today Billy?" I ask drying my hands and stuffing some money into my jean pockets as I called to Caspar, chuckling as I hear his feet slapping down the hall towards us.

"You know I never turn down an offer of food, as long as you don't mind, can Jake join us as well ?" He asks.

"Of course, there's always plenty of leftovers, I'm sure Jake will help with that issue." I reply as I shove my shoes on and bend to help Caspar with his own. Billy chuckle as he mutters about Jake's black hole of a stomache.

"Where are you going ?" Markus asks as he watches me get Caspar ready to go out.

"to get some groceries. We're running low and I need the stuff for dinner tonight. You want to come along ?"

"Nah, I'm alright here, Jake will be here soon so don't worry. Can you pick us up some beers ?" I nod as I leave the house, calling goodbyes as I go.

Taking hold of Caspar's hand I smile down at him, and receive a bright smile back.

"Stew for dinner Cass."

His smile widens. "Lamb ?"

Nodding I give him a questioning look. "Are you just going to eat all the meat or are you going to be a big boy and eat all your vegetables this time ?" I ask, smothering a laugh at the conflict visible across the toddlers face, wanting to be a big boy but rebelling against the thought of eating his veg. Giving up the fight I laugh, swooping down to scoop the conflicted toddler up into my arms. He snuggles close as we make our way to town.

...

" Hello." A stiff, formal tone sounds from behind me.

Turning sharply I see the curly haired, blond male from my meeting with the local coven. Stepping back, my legs bumping into the box of vegetables, I pull my son tightly against my side, a warning growl rumbling in my chest.

His eyes widen and he takes a step back holding his hands in the air to show he means no harm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm not going to hurt you. " his voice is as strained as his expression. The multitude of bite marks flash as the harsh fluorescent lighting catches them.

"What do you want ? Where are the others ?" I ask, eyes searching around him for any sight of the other coven members. My wolf bristle at being caught unaware, not likeing how close the vamp was to Caspar.

"They're in the dress shop across the road. I saw you come in here so I slipped away." He said, carefully lowering his hands.

I look at the vampire confused. "Why?"

"I'd just like to talk to you. I think there's been some misunderstandings and I'd like to sort them out before it causes any trouble for my family."

"Your family is not the one who will be in trouble if anything did happen." I say quietly, eyes trained on the scarred vamp.

"You're scared." He states frowning, I feel the calming feeling pushing at my rising unease.

I growl a warning. "Stop that. Whatever you're doing. Stop it." I step towards him.

He holds his hands up again. "I just want to talk." Pausing, we watch each other for a long moment, other shoppers walking by throwing questioning looks between the two of us.

 _I can't fight him. Caspar's too close and there are others nearby._

Taking my eyes from the vamp I look frustratedly at the people milling about the store, if I killed him here there would be no peace for us, we'd have to run again and I'd promised Paul I wouldn't do that.

Letting out an irritated growl I look back at the strained looking vampire, pulling Caspar safely into my arms.

"Five minutes."


	21. Relax

**.21.**

"Here's your coffee sir." A pretty waitress says sweetly, batting her long lashes at the predator in front of me.

"Thank you." He says stiffly, not looking at the girl as a disappointed frown crosses her face before she walks off, ponytail swishing briskly behind her.

We'd entered a small little café and had chosen a booth at the back, away from the curious eyes trailing after our strange looking duo and the clingy toddler.

"Why did you even order anything ?" I ask, running my hand up and down Caspar's back. I feel him press his face harder against my shoulder, little hands clenching tightly in my shirt.

"It's just something we do to blend in." He answers, eyes taking in my sons anxious form then flicking back to meet my hard gaze.

I nod at his answer.

"How old is your boy ?" He asks.

"He's none of your concern. I agreed to give you five minutes to say what you have to say, so say it." I hear the wolf in my voice. So close to the surface with the vampire so close. His stench weeping from his porcelain body, creeping through the air of the café. My eyes flick around, the smell is so strong to me I almost expect even the humans to have a reaction to it, a crinkle of the nose at the foul odour.

Theres a long awkward silence between us as I wait for him to speak.

"We wont tell the Volturi about you." He gets straight to the point. I raise my eyebrows in reply, waiting for him to go on. "It's not in my families best interests to attract the Voltori's attention, doing so would have repercussions for us also."

Sitting back in the booth I eye the scarred vampire in front of me. "How do I know that you won't go to them. Im sure you're aware that giving me to them would put you in great favour."

"We're not how you or the wolves think of us. We just want to live in peace and bringing in the volturi would jeopardise that." He sighs as he sees the distrust in my eyes. "I can't do anything but give you my word." He watches me closely eyes taking the scars visible on my skin as I had taken in his, a strange emotion crosses his features and pushes against my mind, twisting amongs my tumultuous feelings.

"What ?" I ask confused by his expression and the feeling he's pushing towards me.

"Nothing." He says, shaking his head.

"Your messing with my emotions again, so what ?"

"You just remind me of myself a lot, that's all." He finally says, gesturing to my scars.

"Lots of people have scars." I say, frowning at the brooding vampire.

"They don't have the same meaning behind them though. They didn't get them the same way we did."

"And how did we get them ?"

"From someone changing us. Forcing us to be something we're not."

"And what's that ?" I murmur.

"Monsters."

A long, tense silence stretches between us.

"You give your word that your whole coven will keep mine and Caspar's presence here a secret ? " I ask, wanting to be away from the man in front of me and the similarities his past reflects back at me.

"Yes. I'll give you our number and you can confirm with Carlisle if that makes you feel better." He pulls a pen from his pocket and starts jotting down a number on a napkin, jerking his head up suddenly he looks out the cafe window. " Alice and Esme are coming." He says as he slides the number across the table towards me. Recognising the name of his coven mates I spare a glance out of the window before snapping a hand out and grasping his wrist. Claws pressing against the cold marble of his skin. His eyes darken as the meet mine, my pupils blown.

"I'll take you at your word vampire so you'll take me at mine. If your family guides the claws that will tear my family apart nothing will stop my own from returning the favour." His eyes snap down the the small crack that appears under the sharp pressure of my claw.

"Jasper ?" I hear a high ringing voice call. I snatch the number from his hand, shoving it in my pocket as I shift Caspar onto my hip and use my free hand to gather our bags as I rise from the booth.

"Moth." A motherly voice greets. "It's lovely to see you." Her amber eyes meet mine as she smile cautiously at me. Frowning at the older woman I look back at the scarred vamp, he nods his head to me, his hand covering the small injury. Returning the nod I turn, ignoring the two women, and walk from the café and start making my way home.

"Home now ?" Caspar stirs in my arms, leaning back he looks at me, thumb firmly in his mouth.

"Yeah baby, we're going home now. You still up for helping mama cook ?" He nods his head eagerly, thumb slipping from its comforting position onto my shoulder as he turns to look around as we make our way home. I smile as he starts chatting away, he was becoming more confident and relaxed away from the house.

Hopefully I could now too. The vampire says they don't plan to give us away, and we have others that want to look after us now, it's not just me that can protect us now, there are others who will watch our backs, I can let my guard down. I was not feeling much more relaxed at the thought. _It's going to take a while, like Paul said that was our life and it's not going to just go away now we're out._

I wish it would though.

* * *

We made quick work of getting the stew on, it would be fine to simmer away for the rest of the day left mostly unattended so I decided to take Caspar down to the beach while the men laughed over their newly acquired beers and talked about the old times while they played their card games. With the instruction to the guys for them to stir the stew occasionally we set off.

Caspar ran in front of me, hiding behind trees while I pretended to search for him, feigning that I couldn't see him even when he stood in front of me waving his arms and calling my name.

He ran and I chased the rest of the way and I scooped him up as soon as our toes touched the sand, running with him squealing and giggling in my arms the whole way to the water. It was a warm day so I waded in lowering Vaspar into the water. He clung to me relentlessly as I tried to dip him into the sea, his feet and arms wrapped tightly around me. In the end I stopped trying to get the little monkey off me and just sat down, laughing, into the water, Casper shrieking and giggling, splashing me. He jumped from my lap, the shallows I sat in coming up to him collarbone as he stood on the sand. We had a splashing war which he won after I called for mercy from his relentlessness. He just laughed and waded around, dipping his head below the water and emerging with various shells and long strands of seaweed.

We played and explored for a while as he chatted away happily the whole time. He told me about his favourite animal the sea otter, he saw a picture of a mother and baby sea otter in one of his books and it reminded him of me, because I always cuddled him and I was fluffy. I smiled at his words, drawing him into my arms and laying back, floating on the water, holding him with one arm above the surface so we floated along like the mother and baby sea otter.

With my baby in my arms, the warm sun and the hush of the water I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time.

Well I did until I got a face full of wet fur and a panicked shriek in my ear.


	22. Pack

**.22.**

I shove the huge beast away from me.

The smell and mischievous sparkle in the wolf's eyes kept me from reacting to the sudden action as I stood with a shocked Caspar in my arms and glared at sandy coloured wolf. Seth gave me a sheepish look as he moved to nudge his nose against Caspar, who watched the wolf timidly. "It's fine Cass. It's just Seth." I put him down into the water where he watched the gangly wolf curiously.

"Seth wolf ? Like mama ?" He wades forward, hands moving to clutch at Seths fur. Seth lowers his head a licks Caspar's nose causing the toddler to giggle, his nose scrunching up adorably. Reassured now he recognises the playfulness that is Seth he immediately restarts his play. Moving around Seth, who cranes his head around to see what the three year old is up to, Caspar moves around the wolf, running his hands along the fur he can reach, eyes thoughtful as he takes in Seth's wolf.

"Not like mama." He says, turning back to me, a frown on his face. Seth whines at his tone of voice, moving his head to nudge him reassuringly.

"No." I say softly, "not like mama." Kneeling down, the water lapping at me as I meet my babies large, apple-green eyes. "Like Caspar."

He frowns confused, looking between Seth and I.

"Casparw differwent to mama ?" I can see the little wobble start in his lip as his bottom lip juts out in a pout, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Different isn't a bad thing Cass. You're still my baby." I say, looping my arm around his waist and pulling him towards me. He stands stiffly, spine straight and fist clenched tightly at his sides, not sinking into my arms as he always does. I hear the hiccup in his breathing as he fights his tears. "Shh, it's alright Caspar." Pressing against him I draw his stiff body closer to mine, letting my scent surround him to try and sooth the distressed toddler.

"Don't wanna be differwent to mama." He cries. "Want to be together with mama. Don't wanna be aparwt fwom mama. Don't wanna be on my own." His arms lift up he grabs my wet t-shirt, clinging desperately on to me.

"Hey, shh, we aren't going to be apart Cass. You're never going to be on your own. I'm not going anywhere." Drawing him up so he's standing on my knees and is eye level with me, I wait for him to meet my eyes. "Do you know what being a wolf, being like Seth means ?" I ask once he meets my eyes. He shakes his head. "It means you'll never be alone. You'll always have someone there for you. Like in your book, what was the baby wolfs family called ?"

"Pack." He whispers.

I nod, brushing a hand threw his curls to push them from his eyes. "Pack. You're like them Cass, you're pack, and you'll never be alone again. And I'll always be there for you, I'm not leaving you. Ever. Understand ?" Caspar cries and buries his face in the crook of my neck, holding onto me tightly. I rock him as he cries, murmuring loving words and reassurances to the toddler, who just clings to me tightly, tears not subsiding.

We're jolted out of the moment when Seth throws his head back and howls, long and low. There's a long pause before other howls call back. Goosebumps raise along my arm at the eerie sound. Caspar tenses in my arms. Seth howls again before getting up and trotting out from the water, over to the group of wolves that were stepping out onto the sand. Seth greeted them, tail wagging happily, moving behind them and taking his place amongst them. I see the dark flash of Paul's fur amongs them, just off to the right of his alpha. Sam, massive in his wolf form stood in front, his jet black fur a stark contrast against the light sand, his gaze planted solidly on Caspar.

Caspar was frozen in my arms.

Looking between the wolves and my three year old I stand and walk out of the water, stopping a small distance away from the group. Pulling Caspar away from me I nudge him towards the wolves. "Go on Baby. It's okay." Looking back at me hesitantly, he walks forward, towards the imposing figure of Sam and his pack mates behind him. He stops along the way to look back at me, I nod and smile encouragingly, urging him forward with a wave of my hand, "go on Cass, it's alright, I'm right here." I see him straighten up his spine, balling his hands up in determined little fist and he turns from me.

Taking the last steps to close the distance he meets his pack.

* * *

"This is delicious !" Seth exclaims, the others murmur their agreements.

After the incident on the beach I had invited the rest of the guys over for dinner. I hid a laugh at the sight of their hulking forms all crammed around the table, leaning eagerly forward as I set the pot of stew down and the platter piled high with crusty bread that was smothered in butter.

"You'll have to tell me the recipe Moth." Emily says from down the table, eating much more demurely than the rest of the guys, including her fiancé.

"It's nothing really, you just chuck everything in the pot and let it stew for at least four hours." I shrug, dipping my hunk of bread into my bowl. I catch Paul frowning at my bowl before he huffs and leans forward to scoop another ladle-full into my half empty bowl.

Looking up at my confused frown he just answers with a gruff, "you need to eat more." Seeing the rest of the table frowning at his action he growl frustratedly, "her wolfs all skin and bones." The others look between us shocked.

"I'm always telling her she's got to eat more, she's too skinny." Markus agrees from across the table, Billy nods in agreement.

Seth leans forward and dumps his slice of bread in front of me. "Here, you can have my bread, I've already eaten five anyway."

"It's fine." I frown, moving to hand the slice back. "I'm not skin and bones, I eat plenty." I say looking pointedly at Paul who rolls his eyes at me disbelievingly.

He turns to look at Sam, "Her spine is visible and she barely ate any of our kill."

"You went hunting together ? Cool ! I want to hunt with you too Moth ! I bet it would be awesome with those claws of yours."

"Its crazy, it's like something out of a movie when she gets going." Markus supplies, only getting Seth more excited.

"Mama the best." Caspar chimes in from his position on Jacobs lap.

"It would be cool to hunt with you." Jacob agrees ruffling Caspar's hair.

"It's not like you haven't seen me as a wolf before." I frown at the people around the table.

"Yeah but that was different. Everything happened at once and we weren't expecting you to look so different." Jacob dismisses.

" I wanna see your wolf again !" Seth whines.

"Wolf mama." Caspar giggles, picking up on Seth's antics.

There's a knock at the door, Emily gets it up to answer first, chuckling at my mock glare as she foils my attempt to excuse myself from the discussion.

I just sit and glare at the table as the guys discuss what it would be like hunting with me. I feel Paul place his hand on mine, and the familiar sweep of his thumb over the scars on my knuckles.

"You'll have to shift with us sometime, how will you run with the pack when you're in your human form ?" Jared states.

"I've never run with a pack, I just go on my own." I say distractedly as I turn to look in the direction of the door, hearing a hushed discussion going on between Emily and whoever was at the door.

"That's not how we do it here. You'll have to come with us now you're part of the pack." Sam says gruffly, continuing to eat unlike the others who stopped to discuss my wolf.

"I'm part of the pack ?" I ask, looking over at Paul as he squeezes my hand.

"Of course you are !" Says Seth looking at me as though I was a child.

"But I'm not Omega." I say confused.

Sam sighs and puts his spoon down, meeting m eyes squarely. "I don't know about this Omega business but you're part wolf and Paul's imprint. That makes you pack."

"And you're my daughter in everything but blood, that makes your pack." Markus says gruffly, seeing the emotion in my eyes he rises and moves around the table to me. Feeling a strange emotion I pull my hand back and cover my eyes as the tears blur my vision. I feel as Paul moves from his seat and moves towards me, placing his one hand on my back and the other goes to my hair to sweep it from my covered face. He murmurs in my ears trying to get me to look at him. The discussion from the door gets louder as Emily and the other person get closer, Emily sounds upset and unsure. Markus has his arm over my shoulder, pressing his forehead to my shoulder in comfort.

Pushing back the emotions that are rolling through my body I raise my head and smile softly at Paul and the other's concerned looks. "Sorry, I'm just being silly." Placing one hand over Paul's hand on my cheek and the other gripping Markus's arm wrapped around me I squeeze reassuringly. "I'm fine."

"Jacob ?" The person at the door barges into the room, causing us all to turn and look. Bella stands in my dining room, Emily standing behind her.

"I tried to tell her that Moth didn't want her in the house." Emily says, looking at me apologetically. I don't reply my gaze locked onto the human that smells like vampires in my kitchen. My pupils dialate as she looks at me challengingly, raising her chin slightly as she meets my gaze. "I'm here to see Jake."

People rush to grab me as I stand from the table.

Looks like I'm going to be shifting after all.


	23. Bloody Knuckles

_Authors notes: So sorry about the late updates ! I've officially moved into my new place now so I'm back on track. It was hard to get back into the writing mode after how busy everything's been around here but I hope you enjoy the chapter._

 **.23.**

"Get out."

Everyone is frozen as they watch our standoff. Caspar whimpers at the tension in the room, wriggling in Jacob's arms to get to me.

Bella's chin notches up, though her eyes show her nervousness at facing me, my wolf visibly close to the surface. "I'm here to see Jake." She repeats.

"You can wait for him outside." Snaps Markus. He stands with his hands on my shoulder. "Calm down Moth." I shake his hand from my shoulder, my wolf not wanting anyone in the way of us and the intruder in our home.

"I told you, you're not welcome in my house." Tingles race down my body, my wolf pushing out under my skin, wanting to show the human how scary we can be but I push it back. _I will not lose my temper._

"I'm friends with the pack." She says, frowning at me.

"And that means jack shit to me. This is my house and I don't want you here or anywhere near me or my baby. So for the last time. Get the fuck out of my house." I snarl out.

"Moth !" Jacob exclaims, standing and handing Caspar of to a shocked looking Seth.

"Bella step outside." Sam orders. Eyes locked onto me as he rises slowly from his seat, not wanting to trigger any reaction from me, especially with his imprint so close to the heated situation. I feel the others rise in their seat, and I growl lowly at them in warning.

"Come on Bella, I think it's best you wait outside." Emily says calmly, placing a hand on Bella's arm to guide her out.

"Moth." Paul steps close to me. "It's okay, she's leaving." Throwing a glare over at the brunette he turns back to me, moving closer. "Step down. It's okay." He murmurs to me. But my eyes are glued on the girl who is _still_ _in my house._

Bella frowns at the people around the room, eyes going back into to mine. She looks me over nervously before squaring her shoulders and saying, "I'm not leaving without Jake."

Right then.

* * *

"You shouldn't of done that." Paul says from the bathroom doorway.

Glancing up at his reflection in the mirror I take in his angry frown before looking back down at my bloodied knuckles under the steady stream of cold water form my bathroom tap.

"You'd rather I hit her ?" I ask, turning off the tap and pressing a cloth to my wounds.

"Yes." He replied stepping forward and taking the cloth from my hand and rearranging it to press more securely at the deep split in my skin between my first two knuckles on my right hand. "You're gonna get another scar." He scowls, thumb brushing against the undamaged skin on my hand.

"I was mad that she was in the house but I'm not gonna kill her for it. She's important to Jacob."

"Well you're important to me." He grumbles. Smiling softly at his word I move forward and press into his hulking form, head coming to rest just bellow his collar bone. I feel him shudder against me before his other arm comes around me, holding me tightly against him. He ducks his head to rest his cheek against the top of my head, breathing in my scent. "You should have done it my way and just thrown her out on her ass." He grouches, squeezing me close.

"My way worked just fine." I say, free hand coming around to rest against his broad back, rubbing soothingly, chuckling when he grunts in answer.

My way _had_ worked fine. After the human had refused to leave I had lunged forward, fist raised to strike, causing her to stumble back in shock. Her eyes widened as her back hit the wall, realising that she had nowhere to go she squeezed her eyes shut waiting for me to make contact. Satisfied that my plan would work I continued my momentum and slammed my fist straight through the wall next to her head. Ignoring the sharp pain in my knuckles and growling at the whimper the brunette let's out I glare straight into her frightened eyes and offer her one last "get out." Needless to stay she wasn't feeling so stubborn after that and had made a hasty retreat. Jacob had followed quickly behind her, shooting me a glare as he past and the guys had followed dragging a trembling, very reluctant Paul behind he growled that he would be back once they sorted this once he realised they wouldn't let him stay behind. I had pulled my bleeding hand out the wall, ripped a chunk out of my t-shirt and tied it around my knuckles and turned to receive a tearful Caspar who clung tightly to me. After calming the scared toddler, who had fallen asleep, and laying him down in bed where he only frowned slightly before his face relaxed, I had to settle the very apologetic Emily who fussed over my hand and Markus who grumbled about how I should of given the girl a good slap upside the head and a kick in the backside. Shaking my head at the two pushed of Emily, reassuring her I would be fine and that none of this was her fault then excused myself then set about clearing the table, which Emily and Markus protested at the hole time, giving up in the end when I ignored them and instead set about helping trying to do as much as possible. After the table had been cleared and I had compromised on the dishes, I had gotten the two some tea and excused myself to the bathroom where I could wash up and properly take care of my sore, bloody knuckles.

"Is Jacob really mad ?" I ask, looking up at the frowning man.

His eyes take in my face, hand moving up to brush through my hair, twining it around his fingers. "Who gives a fuck ? You're hurt and that's all that matters to me right now."

"I'm fine, I just need to bandage it up." I nod towards the kit I had brought into the room.

He jestures for me to sit on the edge of the bath before moving to get the bandages to wrap my hands. Kneeling before me he gently takes my hand and starts working to clean and wrap my knuckles. He hisses when he sees the raw flesh and peek of bone that the gash exposed. "We'll call Sue. You're gunna need stitches." He growls tightening the bandage around my knuckles. Resting on his knees in front of me his hands rest on the top of my thighs, thumbs sweeping the bare skin just bellow my shorts. "Don't do this again." He frowns, watching my blank expression. "No more hurting yourself." I lean forward my arms wraping around his neck, good hand running through the hair at the base of his skull. Moving closer to him I press my nose just bellow his ear, moving down slightly and inhaling his comforting scent, pressing a soft kiss against his throat afterwards.

"It's fine. I've felt worse." I shrug against him.

He pushes me away slightly, hard glare on his face. "Like that makes it alright Moth. Being use to these sorts of pain isn't normal." Embarrassed I look away, arms moving from his neck to the edge of the bath, my knee starting to bounce anxiously. Not letting me put any space between us he uses his finger to lift my gaze back to his, "and I want to kill the sickos who hurt you, if I saw any of them I would rip the fuckers to pieces." His eyes ignite with the promise of violence, leaving me in no doubt that he would do what he said. "But they can't get you anymore, I won't let anyone hurt you. Including yourself." I start to protest before he cuts me off. "you're my imprint. My soulmate. You getting hurt and the thought of anything happening to you-" he breaks off, shaking his head. "It drives me crazy."

I press close to him, offering comfort.

"I know I couldn't have done anything about before we met, but any marks left on your body from the moment our eyes met make me feel like a failure who can't protect what's mine."

"No." I say softly pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He groans, moving his mouth to press more firmly against mine. I sink into him as his body presses closer to me.

Kneeling between my legs, he holds me tightly against him, "take care of yourself more, no more putting yourself in danger." He says between kisses, mouth not leaving mine for more than a moment.

I pull away at his words, frowning. "I'm not going to cower and hide Paul, I can take care of myself."

"But you don't have to do everything on your own anymore. You're pack, we take care of each other." I blush at the mention of pack, causing him to chuckle, a soft expression coming over his face. "Fuck you're adorable." He grins as my face brightens.

"Stop teasing me."I scowl.

"I'm serious." His face straightens. "I'm serious Moth. Be more careful." He brings my wrapped hand up to his mouth and kisses the bandages carefully. "Trust us to be there for you."

Watching his intense gaze I soften. "Okay."

He moves his face closer to mine, lips brushing against my skin. "No more scars baby." He breaths against my lips.

"I'll try."


	24. Day at the Beach

**.24.**

"Does it hurwt mama ?" Caspar asked, small hands holding my bandaged hand carefully.

"No baby." I lie, pushing the throbbing ache in my knuckles to the back of my mind, squeezing his hands lightly for reassurance.

He frowns at me then looks back at my hand, bending to press a light kiss against the bandages, pulling back he rubs the kiss into the bandages with a triumphant look on his face. "Therwe all betterw."

I laugh and wrap him in my arms, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you baby." He burys his face against my neck.

"love you mama."

"I love you too." I reply, pressing my cheek against his. We sit on the front porch swing, waiting for Paul who was taking us to have a picnic down on the beach. After listening to Caspar relay his love and desire to go back to said beach Paul had come up with the ideal, grinning when I offered to make us food to have while we were down there, warning the others off when they asked to come. Two huge picnic basckets that Emily had lent me sat by our feet full to the brim with food. Emily had also taken us into town to buy swimming costumes, Caspar chose a pair of light-blue swimming trunks that were covered in small cactuses wearing sunglasses. Overwhelmed by the amount of swimsuits available I had just stood in awe as Emily had chosen one for me, a sky-blue one piece, throwing in a pair of sandals too. I had thrown my usual shorts and oversized T-shirt over the top and packed a few towels and a blanket for the picnic.

Turning my head when I hear the sound of a harsh exhale, I smile at the sight of the Paul who was standing just in front of the tree line. He shakes his head and starts walking towards us, smiling back as Caspar jumps from my lap and runs to meet him halfway, arms outstretched for Paul to lift him into his arms, giggling and immediately starting to chat excitedly. I pick the baskets up off the deck and walk towards him, laughing at his attempt to keep up with Caspar's rapid questions. He sees me holding the huge baskets and frowns, "I'll take those." He holds out his hand towards me to put the baskets in his hold. Shaking my head I instead go up on my tip toes and lean into him, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

"I've got them. You can hold Caspar for me." He seems conflicted whether to let me carry the weighty hampers, but I just smile and press into his side as we start to walk down to the beach. "I like seeing you and Caspar bonding." I say quietly, causing his expression to soften, his eyes warming as he wraps his arm around my waist, holding me close as we walked.

"And I love when get that look on your face babe." He murmurs, bending to press a lingering kiss against my mouth.

"I want a kiss fwom mama too." Caspar whines, squirming in Paul's hold. Paul groans against my mouth before pulling away and chuckling at my pouting child. Laughing I lean in and give Caspar a kiss, nuzzling his cheek causing his to giggle and bury his face against the side of Paul's neck.

We laughed and continued walking down the beach.

* * *

Paul POV

She was driving me crazy.

I watch eyes glued to the scarred hands as they slide the too large t-shirt up over her head, her hair pulled up revealing the pale expanse of her back. She carefully folds the shirt up before reaching down to push her shorts down her hips, the toned lines of her legs making me swallow as my body heats up.

Silently cursing my idea of a day at the beach I forced my eyes away from the sight of my stunning imprint in the skintight, backless, swimsuit, turning my eyes to the sky while I tried to think of anything to get myself under control.

I had suggested we have a day at the beach after her little boy, Caspar had given me the perfect opportunity to spend the day with her when he told the guys about how much he loved the beach and how desperate he was to go back. It had also given me the opportunity to bond with the toddler, like I promised Moth I'd do.

"Look Paul !" Caspar shouts, running towards me pointing to his stomach. I laugh when I see the white smiley face of sunblock, stark against his tanned skin. With his dark hair and russet skin he looked more like a member of the tribe than the pale luminescence of his mother, only the wild curls of their hair was similar.

"Come here you little rascal." Moth chases after the giggling toddler, snatching him up as she moves over to the picnic basket we had layed out. She sits down and quickly rubs the lotion into any expose skin, placing a quick kiss on the pouting toddlers nose before reaching into one of the picnic baskets and producing a bright yellow bucket and spade that had a couple of seashell shaped moulds inside. "Go play with this while we finish putting sunblock on. Stay away from the water until we're ready, okay ?"

"Okay mama." He nods eagerly taking his new toys from her hands and running of to start building his sundcastle.

I watch fixated as she starts to rub the sunblock into her legs and any other opposed skin she could reach. Catching me looking she smiles sheepishly, " Markus made me promise to wear it. Said I need to take care of my skin in the sun." She grimaces as she smells the chemicals smell of the lotion as she rubs it over her face, head tilting as she moves to rub it over her neck.

" He's right." I say holding my hand out to her, motioning for her to pass me the sunblock, " Turn around, I'll help." She hesitates for a moment, red blooming across her cheeks before she nods and shyly turns to expose her back to me.

Squeezing out some of the lotion onto my hand I rub it between my palms before I smooth it over her back. My eyes running over the most prominent scars on her back. The three long claw marks ran from her left should diagonally down towards her right hip. She shivered as I move my fingers to trace the thick lines, my wolf growling at the image of the huge claws that must have inflicted them. Sensing my rising anger she turns to look at me head resting against her knees. Her odd eyes look squarely into mine, a soft look on her face. "No more scars." She murmurs taking hold of one of my hand and bring it to her lips. She presses a soft kiss into the rough skin before nuzzling her cheek into my palm.

Growling I draw her face to mine, pressing my lips firmly against hers and sweeping my tongue against her lips. She startles at the sensation, shyly reciprocating my actions. I press into her as we fall back onto the blanket, swallowing her small gasp.

"Paul." She breaths against my mouth. I feel her teeth lengthen as she nips at my bottom lip making me groan. My hand moves to her hip, sliding under to press against her lower back, thumb stroking her soft skin, I groan again getting lost in the sensation of my imprint beneath me.

" Mama !" I freeze as the toddlers voice cuts through my haze. We look up simultaneously to see Caspar standing with his hands on his hips a disapproving frown on his face. "Not kiss time. Swim time !" Moth laughs beneath me, as I thunk my head down onto the blanket. She pats my back consolingly, looking up at Caspar, "sorry baby, we're ready now." He taps at my back so I'd move off her.

"Right. Come here !" I burst from my position, sprinting towards a shocked looking Caspar and scooping him up just as he turned to run.

A thrilled squeal leaves his mouth as I sprint towards the sea, diving in hoping the water will cool me down.

* * *

Moth POV 

"He's out." Paul chuckles.

"He's had a tiring day. I'm surprised you kept up with him so well, I though only Seth could do that. Even I struggle sometimes." I laugh, placing the towel over Caspar's sprawled for and walking over to Paul. Paul smiles at me as I get to him asking if I wanted to go back now, I shake my head In answer, resting my head against his chest. I feel his fingers in my hair before he removes the band and the pale strands cascade around my shoulders, curls wilder than ever after all the swimming we'd done today. His hands run down from my scalp running through to the end of my long tresses and resting on the small of my back, holding me against him, Head resting against mine.

"You look amazing." He murmurs against my hair. " I couldn't keep my eyes off you."

I press closer at his words enjoying the heat of his body against mine. We stand together for a long while, just enjoying being with the other, the soft snores of Caspar in the background mixing with the gentle lapping of the waves against the shore.

The moment is ruined when a shrill whistle cuts across the beach. I feel Paul tense against me, he pulls back, placing himself infront of me and an approaching group of teens, four guys and three girls. "Who're they ?" I ask, peering out from behind him.

"Just some guys from school from school." He grumbles out.

I move to stand next to him resting my hand on his back, "they're your friends ?"

He looks down at me, eyes softening as he wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me into his side. "No, I just hung out with them occasionally, but that stopped when I became part of the pack." He shrugs.

"Yo Paul !" One of the taller guys steps forward to greet Paul, paul returns the greeting, stepping away from me and bumping knuckles with the rest of the guys. I stand back warily, noticing the looks I'm receiving from the group. The girls especially seem to eyes me pointedly from head to toe. One girl steps away from the group. she was tall, very tall just a couple of inches shorter than Paul. With sleek black hair and skin a smooth mocha colour. Wearing a deep purple bikin that showed off her lean body, gold sandals glinting in the sun as she moves toward us.

"Paul." She says, stepping up to Paul. "I've missed you."

My body freezes as her arms wrap tightly around Paul's neck and she slants her mouth right over his.


	25. Mine

**.25.**

"What the fuck Monica ?" Paul shoves the girl away from him and her and her friends giggle. The guys slap paul on the back like he'd won something but Paul shoves them away too, a furious look on his face. The girl turns and smirks at my shellshocked expression.

"Moth." Paul says turning towards me. I don't look at him, my eyes were glued to the smug looking girl as she wriggles her fingers at me. Paul crowds me, placing his body in front of mine blocking my view of the group. "Babe, look at me." My eyes snap up to his and he curses at my expression. I know my pupils were blown, my muscles rigid and I felt the trembling in my limbs. My chest heaved as I tried to get under control but the giggling of the girls grated at my nerves.

"Who's that ? Aren't you going to introduce us ?" The girl smirks, sidling up and clutching Paul's tense arms, placing herself only a hairsbreadth away from my growing claws.

"Back off, Monica." He yanks his arm from her grasp then using his body to block her from my darkening gaze again.

"Moth, focus on me baby."

"Get her away from me." I grit out, holding on to my shift with the skin of my teeth.

"What's the matter with her, she looks like she's gonna cry. Doesn't she know she's just a quick fuck ?" Laughs one of the other girls.

"Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about." Paul snarls, the girls eyes widen and they step back. The boys look nervously at an increasingly enraged Paul.

The trembling in my limbs increases and I feel the stretch of muscle as my wolf pushes to show herself. "Paul." I whisper shakily, "I'm going to shift." My voice rasps with my fear of my imminent shift and my need to do it and put the bitch in her place.

"Shh baby." He presses his forehead against mine. "Everything's going to be okay." He turns suddenly, snapping another curse when he hears the girls start their malicious giggling again. I feel a growl rumble in my chest.

"Easy man. They're just joking around." The guy Paul had first greeted, said cautiously.

Ignoring him Paul focuses solely on me. His hands smooths up my neck to cup my face, " look at me Moth." Hearing the tone in his voice I drag my eyes off the scowling brunette and force myself to focus on Paul. "We're going to get Caspar and our stuff and leave. No ones going to get in our way and nothing is going to happen. Okay ?" Gathering myself as best I could I nod my head stiffly and abruptly turn and start packing everything up. Carefully lifting Caspar into my arms I turn and wait for Paul who is talking quietly to the group of guys and girls, I could see the tension in the muscles in his back.

Monica makes an affronted noise at whatever Paul said to her, the noise so shrill it jars Caspar awake in my arms, and snaps her head towards me. Caspar blinks his eyes around, shocked tears pooling in his eyes, I hold him close soothing him as Monica slips past Paul and starts running over to me, my hackles immediately rise. Placing Caspar down behind me where her clings to the back of my leg, I shift my stance, right leg slightly forward, feet planted in front of my child. I see Paul hurrying to catch up to her, her lithe form faster than his bulk.

"You fucking bitch !" She shrieks, Caspar flinches at the sharpness of it. "You think you're special but lets me tell you, once he's bored of you he'll come back to me. He always does."

"Back off. " I growl the stench of Caspar's fear cranking my anger up.

"Or what ?" She sneers, stepping closer, trying to use her size to intimidate me. She hears Caspar whimper and laughs when she sees my child clinging to me, "No wonder he's all over you. You probably spread your legs for anyone, bet you don't even know who the kids dad is." She focuses in on Caspar. "Do you know who daddy is or does she let you call anyone she fucks for more than a quicky that ?"

The crack of her nose under my fist wasn't as satisfying as it should of been.

* * *

"Woah, moth your eyes !" Seth exclaims as I march through the house.

Ignoring his words I walk over to him and hold Caspar towards him, "can you take him please ?"

"Sure." He says, taking hold of my blotchy eyed toddler. "Hey, what's the matter Caspar ? Have you been crying ? What going on Paul ?" He looks between me, as I make my way out the back of the house, and Paul as he puts the baskets down on the table. I hear him mutter something and tell the guys to help themselves to leftovers before I march right out the back of the house.

I stand a few steps away from the back porch, watching the breeze sway the trees the edge the clearing, trying to time my breathing and get my temper under control, but I felt restless.

After I slammed my fist into Monica's face I watch as she dropped to the ground. I just stood there as she laid sprawled, not reacting when Paul, followed by the group of teens surrounded us and as they called me a 'psycho bitch' and 'freak' as they dragged their limp friend off the way they'd came. I couldn't allow myself to move until the group was out of sight, my body burned with the need to finish what I'd started but I couldn't allow that. I'd never allow myself to do that again.

I don't react when Paul walks to stand behind me. I feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"Are you mad." I ask, not wanting to look at him.

"What ?" He takes hold of my shoulders and turns me to face him but I keep my eyes planted on the ground. "Look at me." His hand moves under my chin to lift my gaze to his. "Why would I be mad ?"

"I punched your ex in the face. And your friends think I'm a freak."

" I told you they're not my friends, I just hung around with them at parties and stuff. And she's not my ex." He sighs when he sees my frown. "We used to mess around. It was never serious and she new that. Everyone I hooked up with new that it wasn't going to be anything more than that."

" But Monica made it sound like you were an ongoing thing."

He ran his hand through his hair frustratedly. "Fuck. It was convenient okay ? I know I'm an asshole but I'd be looking for some fun and she was always around and willing and she never asked for anything more."

"She seems pretty possessive of you for someone who doesn't want a relationship."

"I don't know where that came from, she's never acted like that before. "

"That you know of." My gaze slips from his again. "She said you'll go back to her when you're bored."

His body stiffens. " You think I'm going to get bored of you and fuck someone else ?" He says, anger in his voice.

"You know I don't like sex and you obviously do." I clench my hands, hating my show of weakness. "You said I'd like it with you and that you'd wait but I don't know if I could ever let anyone touch me like that again, and then what ? You're going to be satisfied with that kind of relationship ?" I look back at his, his searching expression. "I heard the people in the facility said Paul. Heard them talk about how important sex in a relationship is all the time."

"Fuck the people at the facility." He growls. Drawing back from him we watch each other for a long moment, his eyes roam my face taking in my tumultuous expression. "Listen Moth." He sighs. Taking my hands in his, brushing the scars over my exposed knuckles and the bandages on the other. "I never wanted to settle down and do the whole marriage and kids thing. When the guys started meeting their imprints, I hated the idea of _having_ to be with someone. The guys told me I couldn't understand until I met my own imprint but I'd just shake them off and go have fun, hooking up with random chics. But then I walked into Sam's and there you were. You were swamped in a huge t-shirt from Emily's spare cupboard and laid sweating out your fever on Sam's secondhand couch, I'd never felt so drawn to anyone in my life but I shook it off and told myself I was only following Sam's orders to watch over you. Then you opened your eyes and I knew. Everything Sam and Jared said was true. You changed everything, every minute we spend together just confirms that and then this morning when I came to get you and saw you and Caspar waiting for me on your porch swing, for the first time in my life I imagined you holding my child while Caspar runs around the yard with his siblings. You're it for me. There's never going to be anyone else. Whatever issues we have we'll figure it out together that's it, and that includes all your worries and insecurities. You're the only one for me baby. End of."

I couldn't speak, my emotions leaving me choked as tears pooled in my eyes. Instead I step forward and shove him backwards.

He falls back onto the deck with a grunt, I quickly move until I'm hovering over him, resting on my knees on either side of his body and my hands framing him head. He lets out a low growl when he sees my eyes, hand moving to my hips. "You have her smell on you." I growl out brushing my lips over his.

"I'm yours baby, only yours." He presses his mouth to mine with a groan as I mould my body to his.

"Mine." I growl as I nip at his bottom lip, wolf pleased to hear another groan rumble from his chest.

"Fuck baby, you drive me crazy." He growls against my mouth. His hands move to side under my t-shirt to feel my bare skin.

I feel the warm heat of his hand against my back just as I hear Caspar call out for me from in the house.

"Mama Seth said he could beat you at armwestle !"

I couldn't help but laugh as Paul drew away from me with a groan, this one in defeat. "I think our biggest challenge will be me getting some alone time with you with no interruptions." He grins, eyes softening as he runs his knuckles down my cheek.

I press one last, thorough kiss against his mouth before quickly getting up and walking into the house, stopping in the doorway and looking back at his slightly dazed eyes watching me.

"We'll figure it out." I smile, sauntering into the house to prove a cocky looking Seth wrong.


	26. Memories

**.26.**

A bright light flashed through my closed eyelids jolting me awake. Snapping my eyes open I glare up at a sheepish looking Seth holding a camera. Frowning at the younger teen he chuckles and looks above my head, following his gaze I see a pleased looking Caspar giving Seth a big thumbs up.

"What are you two up to now ?" I grumble out, moving to get up.

"Memorwies." Caspar states in explanation. Not understanding I look to Seth for him to elaborate for me.

"We're taking pictures that you can put around the house. Memories for you guys to look back at. All families have some around the house."

"What brought this on ?" I ask walking over to him and peering at the camera in his hands, curious to see the results of their mischief.

"Caspar was curious after mom mention one of our picture of me when I was a baby." He shrugged, "hasn't he ever had his picture taken ?"

I shook my head in answer, "no." I said softly, "I never let them have anything to do with him." Seth looked at me searchingly.

"They took pictures of you though ?" I nod. "Did they ask you ?"

"They don't need my permission, I'm a product of their making, they documented every expect of my being." I shrug.

"You're still a person though." Seth frowned.

I just shrug again in reply, ignoring when he frowns at me. "Can I see?" I ask nodding towards the camera.

"Sure !" And just like that he snaps back into the usual cheery Seth that I'd come to know. He presses a few buttons then turns the small screen towards me. My hand moves to my hair as I see the picture, feeling the flowers they had sneakily twined into long strands as I slept.

In the picture my hair had been spread around me, the nearly white strands standing out against the dark green of the grass I lay on. My hands rested over my belly and my legs were gently crossed at the ankle. The vibrant orange of my large t-shirt stood out against the calmness of the rest of the photo.

"Let me see too !" Caspar holds his hands up for me and I bend down and pick him up so he could see the camera. His eyes brighten as he sees the product of their work.

"Mama pwetty." Caspar says, smiling at me.

"Thank you baby." I say, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He beams at me before looking back at the picture on the little screen.

"Can I take some ?" He asks Seth, giving his best puppy dog eyes, "please?"

Seth laughed and reached over to ruffle Caspar's dark curls, before holding his arms out for me to transfer Caspar over. "Sure Cass! Let me show you how to use it." I smile at the pair as Seth goes over instructions with a very eager looking Caspar.

Walking back into the house I leave the pair to themselves, to get onto chores and spend time with Markus, thinking of all the memories that we could make in our little house.

... ... ...

"Cheese !" I hear before I'm nearly blinded by a camera flash. Looking over my shoulder from where I'm hanging out the washing I see a pleased looking Caspar running off to show Seth the picture he just shot. Seth and Caspar look at the picture, Seth giving Caspar a big grin and a high five before they turn back to look at me, innocent expressions plastered on their faces.

My eyes narrow suspiciously as the pair wave at me, walking off out of my sight.

Maybe giving Caspar charge of the camera wasn't such a great idea after all.

... ... ...

A throaty moan escapes my throat as the nearly scolding water from the shower runs down my body, easing the tension in my shoulders and back, enjoying my moment of peace away from Caspar's new passion for photography. Caspar had managed to sneak up on me when I least expected it, shouting out 'cheese' and blinding me with the flash. I had left him with Markus after Seth had left and managed to sneak into the bathroom to have a shower and a break from my little terror.

Still I couldn't help but smile as he ran off, giggling, to show Seth his latest shot, which mostly starred me looking very shocked, which only made the pair giggle and plan their next attack. I was just happy to see my baby happy and interacting with people without clinging on to me and hiding his face from others, he was settling in and even if it came at the expense of having my corneas burned off in a camera flash I would put up with it.

"Cheese !"

Cue blinding light.

On second thoughts.

"Caspar !" I rush out of the shower, grabbing a towel and quickly tucking it around me as I sprint after my maniacally giggling toddler. "Get back here !"

I follow him down the hallway and out of the house, slowed by my wet feet slipping against the smooth wood floors.

"Run Caspar !" Markus cheers from his spot on the porch, laughing loudly as we run past.

Caspar runs to the middle of the clearing, turning to face me with a sheepish smile on his face, cheeks red from all the running and laughing. I stand a few feet away, towel wrapped tightly around me, hair in a soaked tangled mess, soap studs sliding down my limbs.

"Give me the camera Cass." I take a step towards him holding my hand out. He steps back, shaking his head, fighting the smile from breaking across his face.

"Mama's going to have to take it herself if you don't." I say taking another step towards him. Eyes showing my wolf, my limbs lengthening as I crouch down ready to pounce.

We watch each other, waiting for the other to move before Caspar takes off, squealing and giggling as I take chase, not missing a stride as I shift. Caspar peaks over his shoulder quickly and laughs in delight when he sees my wolf. He runs as fast as his legs can carry him throwing glances at me as I run after him at a reduced pace. He trips, too focused on me and our game than his surroundings. I speed up and catch him mid fall, leaning into a roll, with him held safely in my arms.

"Mama." Caspar laughs hands clinging to my fur. I nuzzle his cheek with my snout, swiping a lick up the side of his face causeing him to giggle.

We stay snuggled together for a long while, both drifting off for a nap in the warmth of the afternoon air and the monotonous sounds of Markus rocking gently on the porch swing.

"Wait ! What the hell are you doing !? Put that down !" I hear Markus yell.

Then a gunshot rings through the clearing and pain lances through my side.


	27. Stranger

**.27.**

My head snaps up to see an unknown man wearing dark clothes, with dark brown hair and a moustache walking slowly from the over grown path, pointing a gun right at me.

Caspar cries out at the load noise, and stares wide eyed at the slowly approaching stranger.

missunderstanding my sons fear the man takes a quick glance at Caspar before locking his eyes back on my snarling figure. I'm couched low, using my body to shield Caspar from the stranger and his gun. "It's alright son. Just stay calm."

"Stay calm !? What the hell do you think you're doing ?!" Markus yells moving quickly between us and the approaching man.

"Stay back sir. You don't want to trigger an attack."

"Trigger an attack !? Are you mad !?" Markus shout incredulous.

"Sir, I said stay back, we've had a few attacks recently, we don't want to provoke it to hurt the child."

 _He thinks I'm a wild animal. He doesn't know about the wolves here._

Looking up at Markus I see the realisation in his eyes too. Looking down at Caspar, to the woods and between him and the stranger I see him nod in understanding. I quickly lean down nuzzling Caspar reassuringly, snarling towards the stranger as another shot rings out as pain shoots through my side again. I rush off into the woods with one last growl towards the stranger as Caspar is quickly scooped up, kicking and screaming by a furious looking Markus.

Looking back quickly to see the stranger with his eyes and gun still trained on me but talking towards Markus and a wailing Caspar. I look away and run into the woods, searching for a secure place to hide in case the human comes looking for me.

After moving a little way into the forest, I find a little hollow beneath some brambles and exposed tree roots. Squeezing into the small crevice I swipe my tongue across my wounds and wriggle around, trying to get as comfortable as possible while I wait for the human to leave.

I drifted off unknowingly in my long wait, being awoken by the cold splash of raindrops on my exposed skin, having shifted back as I dozed, I shivered as the sparse drops increased steadily before the sky opened and the rain fell in heavy sheets soaking everything through. The hollow felt more spacious since I had shifted back so I made easy work of sliding myself out from beneath the minuscule cover of the thorny branches and knarled roots, covering the front of my body in mud and bark. I straightened up as I emerged from my hiding place mentally cursing at the night sky.

 _How long had I slept ?_

I knew people would be worrying about me so I quickly started to make my way towards my home, wincing at the sharp pain in my side, ignoring it since there wasn't much I could do until I got home.

The sound of uneven footsteps cause me to pause, turning towards the sound I hear rasping breaths and quiet groans. Quietly as possible I stalk the retreating noise, curious, keen eyes watching closely. I follow along slowly, conscious of the sound of my footsteps on the sodden ground, then I hear a loud thud and a stuttered moan of pain. Alarmed I speed up and break through some bushes to see a man laying sprawled in the mud, starting forward to help the downed stranger I stop dead in my tracks when the smell of a Beta reaches my nose.

Snarling I stalk forward, seeing the stranger tense at the unavoidable wet squelch as my foot sinks into the mud. He jerks his head around to face me, is nostrils flare in fear as he scents me, his eyes covered by a dark mop of hair plastered to his face.

"M-M-Moth."

"How do you know my name ? Did they send you ?" I snarl out, the stranger on the ground flinching away in fear.

"N-No. M-Markus. Sa-safe." He stutters out.

"Markus? Safe ?" I ask confused.

He nods frantically, "R-r-ran t-together. L-lost." I hear him start to sob as he pulls his hands to cover his face.

Moving forward I grip his arms and pull them away from his face, and push his air from his face, " You ran with Markus ? Why would I believe you ? He never mentioned anything about running white anyo-"

My breath leaves my lungs in a harsh exhale as I meet the familiar apple green of his eyes.

"Who are you ?" I ask so quietly it's almost drowned out by the sound of the rain.

"N-no name. M-arkus." He says, struggling with his words. Tears mixing with the rainwater on his face as the leaked from the corners of his eyes.

Those eyes. The same as my baby's.

My hand brushes the mans cheek as I press closer, appealing to the dominant beast side of his DNA, knowing that the physical comfort would soothe him. He leans into my hand, his underdeveloped brain taking comfort in simple touches.

I feel like I'm in a daze as I lay there comforting the distressed Beta before I snap out of it and set my mind back to the matter at hand. Drawing away, shushing him as he whimpers and clings to me, holding onto my arm tightly.

"Shh, it's okay. We're going to Markus."

 _"_ M-m-Markus ?" He asks eyes wide with fear.

"Yes, I'm bring you to Markus, and we'll get you all warmed up and fed and then we can all talk. Okay ?" I ask, taking care to make sure my voice and body language is as soft as possible.

The human thought I was a wild animal but no-one knew wild until they came face to face with a raging Beta.

"Okay." he whispers reaching up to me as I help him to his feet.

Once he's up the tell tale signs of the Beta are painfully evident. He towered over me, limbs longer than narutal, claws curving from his fingers, ears pointed and more wolf like, eyes unhuman, fangs sharp but then there were the traits that made me tremble, the dark hair, russet skin, the nose that is so familiar to me.

 _Caspar._

"Come on, let's get out of this rain." I say softly, placing my arm around his waist and his around my bare shoulders for support when I see him stumble forward. He leans heavily on me until I'm basically dragging us through the mud that slows me even further, nearly tripping a few times under the weight of the Beta and the drain of the cold and my wounds.

I nearly cried when I saw the lights of my home as I walked into the clearing in front of my house. "We're here." I murmur to the nearly unconscious man. He mumbles something unintelligible, too out of it to make out what he's saying.

The door slams open before I could even take a second step into the clearing. Paul, Sam, Markus and some of the guys rush out into the rain towards me. I hear Sam bark orders before the weight of the Beta is taken off me and I hear Markus exhale in shock as he sees the face of the person I had dragged home, but I don't pay any attention to them. I'm too focussed on Paul, the expression on his face unbearable as he hauls me into his arms squeezing me almost painfully against his chest. His arms wrap tightly around me, causing pain to shoot through my side, but I ignore it in favour of squeezing closer to the trembling man as he buries his face into my shoulder.

"You're freezing."

"Well I have been walking naked around the forest." I chuckle trying to ease the tension rolling of his shoulders.

He growls lowly before he sweeps his arm under my knees and carries me into the house, grabbing a throw that rested over the back of the couch he sits me down, wrapping the blanket around my shoulder and rubbing some warmth, over the blanket into my shivering muscles.

"Why do you have blood on you ?" Paul asks his voice tight with his tension. The guys start settling around me for an explanation but I can't focus on any of them, my eyes glued to Markus as he walks out of his room and leans in the doorway, not making eye contact with me.

"I was shot." I say blandly, ignoring the sudden burst of action around the room and keeping my eyes glued on Markus as he finally makes eye contact. I feel people try to move me to lay down or get me to focus but my sight is blinkered on Markus.

"I thought he missed you !" He shouts, walking towards me.

"No." I say softly. The people around me stop trying to get me to cooperate and look between me and Markus. "Who is that Markus ? how does he know us ?" I ask.

"He doesn't have a name. You know they don't name Betas." He says, face not giving anything away.

"What's going on ? That guy is a Beta ?" Sam asks his posture stiffening as he goes into Alpha mode. "You brought a Beta here ? You said they were dangerous and you brought one here ?" He growl causing Paul to go on the defensive and growl back.

"He's not like the others." Markus says defensively. "He's a child. Harmless." He say to more to me than Sam.

"He knows me. I've never seen him before."

"I told him about you. You and Caspar." He looks at me pointedly. I start to tremble as the tension builds.

"Moth. You need to relax, you're hurt and you're exhausted." Paul says pressing close to me, trying to get me to look at him.

"He has his eyes Markus." I whisper, my emotions clumping in my throat.

Markus just looks at me. Waiting for me to ask. The guys shift uncomfortable with the easy atmosphere looking between me and Markus and waiting for some sort of cue. Paul presses his face to the side of mine trying to offer comefort but I'm wound too tight to relax.

Tears pool in my eyes, one slipping out to run down my cheek before being brushed away by Paul's thumb, as he murmurs reassuring words into my ear, unsure about the whole situation and how to fix it.

"Tell me he isn't." I ground out. Desperate and dreading his answer.

"Isn't what ? What's going on Moth ?" Paul ask leaning away from me to look between Markus and me. Hand brushing my hair behind my ears. He stands and growls at Markus, "get whatever this is over with so we can help her."

"Paul. Ease off." Sam says, watching The situations closely and ignoring Paul as he snaps at him irritatedly.

"Markus." I breath, more tears rolling down my cheek. "Tell me he isn't Caspar's father."

All eyes snap towards Markus as his eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes trying to form a reply as I wait anxiously for his answer.

"Please Markus."


	28. Truth

**.28.**

"No!" Markus exclaims, almost distraught.

With that one word all the tension leaves my body and I deflate in on my self.

"He's his brother."

"What ?" I just stare at the older man. "How is that possible ?"

"The DNA they used to impregnate you. It's one they have stored away. They only use it when they think they might be successful since its valuable. His mother died like the others but he survived."

"But he's Beta." I say. Eyes wide.

"Exactly. But he's not like the others." He says quickly. "His mother was the most successful they'd been before you and that's not saying much, he's still not right. He's been locked away since he was born. I met him the first year I was there, I tried to run away but I got lost and I stumbled on the room they were keeping him in."

"What do you mean he's not right ? Is he dangerous ?" Sam asks leaning against the wall, arms crossed, as he took everything in.

"Of course he is, potentially. So is Moth, but that doesn't mean she'll hurt you. He may look scary but he's a Beta he's not like us, mentally."

"What does that mean ?" The others ask.

"The brain doesn't develope. Usually it gives them the reasoning of a toddler and the attitude of a short tempered psychopath that can snap into a murderouse rage and attack anything within range until they burn out, but he just got the toddler part." He sighs looking around at the confused looks "He's got the mental age of a child. Like I said he's harmless."

"Why didn't you tell me. " I ask, emotions clear in my voice.

He looks at me sadly. "Because I know you Moth. You would have tried to get him. I needed you out. I was going to take care of getting him and explain when we met up but everything went to hell and we separated, I thought they got him."

"You we're going to leave him ?" Seth asks, frown on his face.

"Yes." Markus replies matter of factly. "I wasn't going to sacrifice Moth or Caspar's freedom for anything. The plan was that I'd go first and she'd run in the confusion. She would have changed the plan if she knew about him and I couldn't let her blow her best shot to get her and Caspar out of there. I wouldn't want her to come back even if they'd caught me."

"I would have gone back for you." I whisper.

"I know you would have, that's why I didn't tell you what I was doing. You wouldn't have left to wait for me at the meet up point, you would have stayed back to help." His eyes soften as they take in my expression. " Listen Moth, I've lived outside and he was thirteen when I met him, a few years before I met you, he's tainted by that place, but you. You have the best chance of getting away from there and living the life you've always dreamed off. He couldn't survive out here on his own if I'd got caught but you could, even if you couldn't you'd make yourself. For Caspar. So yes, I didn't tell you about him and I didn't go back for him when I thought they'd caught him."

"He's Caspar's brother !" I say standing, glaring at the older man. "He's Caspar's family." The others move closer, ready to intervene if I lose it.

"And you're Caspar's mother ! He needs you more than anyone." Markus shouts, posture rising up in agitation.

"You knew what they were doing to him, what they were going to do if they caught him and you didn't look for him. You haven't even mentioned him since you got here." I growl.

"I knew what they did to him and what they did to you and what they'd do if they caught you. And _you_ know what they will do Caspar if they catch you."

I snarl at him in my irritation, spinning round I grab a cup from the table and launch it across the room, hissing as the movement pulls at my injuries painfully and press my hand against them. Paul, Markus and the others instantly step forward towards me to get me to sit down but I resist, too agitated.

"Moth, you're injured, you need to calm down." Markus says softly, looking troubled.

"Don't. Don't tell me to calm down Markus. You lied to me. You manipulated me. What ? You were never going to mention this ? You were just going to brush his existence under the rug ?"

He doesn't answer me. Looking down to the floor. "I was only doing what was best for you."

"Well you don't get to make those kinds of decisions for me. I got us out of there so our lives would stop being dictated by others, or are you going to take that role now ?"

"That's not fair Moth." Markus meets my hard gaze with pain filled eyes.

"No you weren't fair ! To me or him." I snap.

"Mama ?" Caspar's voice jolts me from my rage. Turning from Markus's hunched form I see Caspar standing in the doorway, hands fisted nervously in his pyjama top, eyes red from crying.

"Sorry baby, did I wake you ?" I walk over to him and lift him into my arms, drawing him in the blanket around my shoulders and brushing his hair back from his face.

He shakes his head. "Was waiting forw you." He looks nervously around the room. "Okay ?"

"Yes, baby, everything's fine. Come on let's get you to bed." Pressing little butterfly kisses against his cheek, I move us from the room down the hall to our bedroom as rests his head against my shoulder. Shuffling the pillows a little and pulling the blankets back I get into bed and rest against the pillows so that Caspar is laying comfortable over my chest, face in the crook of my neck so he can take in my scent for comfort as my hand smooths over his back.

"Did that man hurwt you ?" He asks, looking up at me, tears starting to pool in his eyes.

"Hey, I'm here, I'm okay." I smooth, pressing his head back onto my shoulder softly. "Mama hurts a little bit, but I'll feel better in the morning. So let's get to sleep, okay ?"

"Okay." He nods his head, sniffing away his tears and burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Love you mama."

"I love you too baby." I reply, pressing a kiss into the side of his head. I hum to him until he falls asleep, nearly drifting off myself as the exhaustion of the whole evening catches up to me, until I hear soft footsteps from the hallway. I offer up a small smile to Paul as he makes his way into the room, the bed dipping as he sits on the edge and looks down at me, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Sue's in the living room. She's unready seen the Beta, got quite a shock when she saw him." He smiles tightly before removing his hand from my face and becoming serious again. "Show me." Shifting Caspar slightly I grunt a little as I try to tug the blanket from around me.

Placing his hand on me he stills my movements. "Here ?" He asks, starting to shift the blanket at my small nod.

Caspar stirs at the growl Paul lets out when he sees the gunshot wounds. "He shot you twice ?"

Making sure Caspar is still asleep before I make a sound I look back at a Paul to see that he's barely holding on to his anger. Gently sliding Caspar onto the bed, I place a soft kiss on his forehead before sitting up and moving to stand up, throwing on a loose t-shirt and pair of shorts, rolling the waistband slightly so it didn't touch the tender edges of one of the wounds, then start making my way to the doorway.

"Let me help." Paul quickly swoops him arm under my knees and draws me up against his chest, I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me out the room back into the living room where Sue was waiting for me. Paul lays me carefully on the couch, bending to press a lingering kiss on my lips. "Okay ?" He asks, lips brushing against mine.

"Perfect." I mumble back tiredly, humming happily as he presses another, softer kiss against my lips.

"She's got two gunshot wounds, I didn't see if they'd gone through." Paul says as he straightens, turning to relay the information to Sue, who nods as she puts on some surgical gloves.

Walking over to me she lifts my shirt up to reveal the wounds she prods them for a short moment, then asks Paul to help roll me slightly as she looks for exit wounds. Shaking her head as they move me back she pulls a kit out of her bag.

"Is everything alright ?" Paul asks, taking a seat on the floor beside me, brushing my hair back.

"Well they didn't hit anything vital but I'm going to have to remove the bullets. I've got a shot of painkillers I'll give that to you while I set up so it can kick in." She picks the syringe ready to offer the relief.

"No painkillers." I murmur, causing Sue to stop, needle close to my arm.

"Are you sure? It's not going to be pleasant."

"I can handle it." Sue shares a look with Paul before shrugging and moving off to prepare to remove the bullets.

"Why don't you want the painkiller ?" Paul asks, stroking my hair.

"I'm scared of needles." I say softly.

He laughs loudly before looking back down at my face "You're serious ?" He asks. "You haul a man nearly twice your size around a forest in the pouring rain after being shot twice, but you can't take a little injection ?" I smile at his amusement, seeing his expression soften. "You look like you're going to fall asleep." He chuckles, fingers running through my hair, only making me feel sleepier. My eyes move to Sue as she walks back into the room.

"I've set up in the dining room, it will be easier if we lay her out on the dining room table." She's says to Paul, who just nods and picks me up from the sofa and moves me to do as Sue instructed.

Laying me out on the table he moves to stand by my head, one hand resting on my cheek the other taking one of my hands. I notice the other guys standing around the room, Sam and Markus talking off to the side. I look away from Markus, noticing him glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

"You can still change your mind about the painkillers." Sue says coming towards me and laying out a small tray with a few tools on.

"No, I'm fine thank you. I'm probably going to fall asleep soon anyway." I reply, turning my head to kiss Paul's palm, trying to ease the worried expression on his face, he flashes a small smile, brushing his thumb across my cheek before his face hardens as he looks away from me and focuses in on what's Sue's doing.

"Alright, just relax Moth. I'll be as quick as possible."

I fall asleep as she pulls the first bullet out.


	29. Comfort

**.29.**

My eyes snapped open as a low grumble echos through the room, looking around the dark space, my sleep addled mind takes a minute to register that I was not in my bedroom but in the living room, stretched out on my back on the couch with a throw draped over me.

The grumbling sound started again, drawing my attention to the floor next to me, my frown easing off my face at the sight of Paul sprawled out on some blankets and a spare pillow. He was frowning and grumbling, obviously not happy with whatever was happening in his dream, he turns away from me onto his side.

I started to sit up, wincing at the sharp jolt in my abdomen and side, moving the throw off me and lifting my shirt I register the two bandages taped over my wounds before sitting up and sliding off the couch onto the blanket on the floor, taking more care not jolt my injuries. Holding my breath so I don't make a sound as I curl around him, spooning against his back, hoping that my presence could comfort him. I feel him sigh and his muscles relax as I make contact. Resting my head against the solid muscle of his back I close my eyes and draw in his scent, relaxing enough to fall back to sleep.

... ...

"This is where I come fwom." I feel a small poke at my lower abdomen." Frowning, I crack my eyes open to see Paul gone, replaced by Caspar and the Beta sitting on either side of me, my T-shirt pushed up to expose my stomach. The Beta looked nervously between Caspar and I as Caspar ran his finger over the scar that was left after his birth. "Which one did you come fwom ?" He asks, tilting his head at the confused looking Beta, who looked over the other scars Caspar had exposed as if trying to figure that out.

"You didn't come from the scar Cass, you came from your Mama's tummy and he didn't come from Moth. Remember Markus told you he's your half brother, you have the same father, different Mama's." I hear Seth call from across the room. "Morning moth !" He peeks his head into the room and laughs at the look on my face.

"Someone told him ?" I frown, looking between Caspar and his brother, who averted his eyes from mine in a show of submission, sensing the stronger beast in their room.

"Markus told him this morning, thought he'd get it over with so you could relax today. Sue said you need to take it easy with these injuries so you can heal faster." He turns away from me to look at the two siblings, "come now, breakfast is ready." Caspar jumps up immediately, grabbing the Beta's hand and urging him to follow along. Seth smiles at the two as they pass him into the kitchen before looking back at me, "He's taken it real well, he practically chewed the poor guys ear off with questions he was so excited, so don't worry. Why don't you go clean up and come down when you're done, I made pancakes." He moves to follow the other two into the kitchen before turning back quickly, a smile on his face. "Oh and Paul says sorry he had to leave before you woke up, he has patrol, said he'll be back as soon as he can and Markus went out to see Billy. Okay ?"

I nod, " thanks."

"No problem !" He practically skips back into the kitchen causing me to chuckle at his antics. Rising to my feet carefully I quickly go and wash up, choosing to wear a loose, blue dress that Emily had given me that would be easier on my wounds. Walking into the kitchen, twisting my hair up on my head in a high knot I pause in the doorway at the sight of a broody looking Jacob sat opposite Caspar and his newly discovered brother. The Beta shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fidgeting under the hard stare of Jacob as Caspar looked between the two, a frown creasing his brow.

"Stop being mean to my bwother." He grumps, crossing his arms across his chest tightly and glaring at Jacob.

"Woah there tough guy, enough of that now, Jake's fine." Seth says, shooting a pointed look at Jake. " Eat your breakfast before it goes cold."

Walking into the room I move round and smooth my hand through Caspar's hair, causing him to lose the frown and smile up at me, leaning up towards me as I lean down and kiss his cheek.

"Good morning." I say to everyone around the table, eyeing Jacob carefully. We haven't spoken since the incident with Bella and I wasn't getting a good feeling about his mood, which was displayed clearly on his face. "How have you been Jacob ?" I keep my voice gentle.

He grunts in reply, dropping is eyes onto his plate and seeming to put all his focus on shovelling the food into his mouth.

Sighing, I shake my head at a scowling Seth, smiling to ease the atmosphere in the room. "How come you're here so early anyway Seth ?"

"Paul asked me to help out since he's got patrol and you're injured."

"Speaking of that, what the hell were you thinking, prancing around as a wolf were anyone could see you." Jacob growls from across the table. I see Seth tense and the Beta startle at the anger in Jacobs voice, eyes planted firmly in his lap as he peek little glances at me, seeing how I'll react to Jacobs tone towards me. Caspar freezes, his pancake laden fork stopped just before his mouth, and looks between me and the angry teen.

"Seth, could you take Caspar and his brother outside to play while me and Jacob speak, please." After he hesitates, I turn to look at him, smiling reassuringly. "It's fine, don't worry." Looking over at Jacob, he nods and leads the other two out of the room, the Beta practically sprinting to get out under the oppressive atmosphere, Caspar hurrying along to keep up with him. Seth leaves at a more sedate place, unsure whether it's a good idea to leave me alone to face Jacobs foul mood. I just smile at him and nod my head, waiting for him to get out of sight. I hear the door open and close behind him before I turn back to Jacob.

We watch each other, waiting for the other to speak but neither of us saying anything. After a short while, Jacobs temper gets the better of him. "What were you thinking. You could expose our secret if you act like that again. You can't go around showing your wolf to people, we have to keep our existence hidden. Some of the guys can't even tell their families and you to and show yourself like that ?" He shakes his head frustratedly, scowling fiercely at me. I sensed that the man seeing my wolf wasn't the sole cause of Jacobs dour mood, it was something he was using to vent all his built up frustrations on.

"I didn't know that your humans don't know about wolves. Markus said that everyone knows your stories. I just assumed.." I shrug. "Everyone at the facility knew everything about us. It was their job to know every aspect of our wolves. I forget how different it can be outside. Everything has been so amazing I forget to be cautious. I'm sorry that I was reckless and risked your secret. I'm aware now and I'll take more care." I say sincerely, holding his gaze squarely.

He seems to mull over my reply, moving the cooling pancakes around on his plate. "Yeah well, your lucky that Charlie thinks your some sort of bear or something."

"Charlie is the man who shot me ?" I ask, tilting my head questioningly.

"Yeah he's a police officer, lives in forks. Him and my dad have been friends for years. It's how I know Bella." He says, eyes hardening at the mention of the pretty brunette.

"How are things going with her ?"

He scoffs, scowl coming back on his face. "Like you care. You don't even like her so what does it matter to you ?"

"It's not about liking her or not, it's about the safety of my family, and she is trouble Jake, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. She can only bring trouble when she loves a vampire." I hold my hand up to stop him as he riles up to argue with me. "But. She is important to you." He watches me closely, shoulders still tense. I reach forward and place my hand over his clenched fist. "I consider you to be a friend to me, Jacob, and you are a pack brother to my Cass. I care about you. When you are raised in an environment like the facility you learn quickly to look after and hold onto those your care for. So although I don't want her near me or Caspar, that doesn't mean you can't talk to me if you need to."

I see his chest start to heave as tremors race through his body. Bowing his head he moves his hand from beneath mine and places over it, squeezing painfully tight under the torrent of his emotions. "She loves him." He grits out, squeezing tighter, "she _wants_ him to turn her into one of _them."_ His tremors race from his body into mine at the tightness of our connected hands. Standing swiftly from my seat I crawl over the table, swinging my legs over the side but staying sat on the surface, and bring my free arm around Jacobs shoulders, holding him close and offering comfort.

He let's go of my hand and wraps his arms around my waist, burying his face against my lap. I don't say anything, I just move one hand to rest against his back and run the other soothingly through his hair as he pours out his pain, and grief at the potentially imminent death of his love as he knows her.


	30. Cake

**.30.**

Jacob had left after his little out pouring, offering a small smile, a brisk thanks and goodbyes to the boys. Waving at me over his shoulder as I watched him leave from the doorway.

"Everything okay ?" Seth asks, walking over to me.

"Yeah." I smile at him then clap my hands together. "Right guys, let's try take two on pancakes." Caspar and Seth cheer following me back into the house, while the Beta follows along more cautiously.

Sitting back around the table I remove the cold pancakes from everyone's plates and start ladling the batter into the pan, flipping, plating and repeating until even Seth felt close to bursting he was so full. After, I made Seth and I tea, and poured some orange juice for Caspar and the Beta.

"Oh no!" Seth burst out as I set Seth's tea in front of him, causing everyone to startle.

"What ?" I ask, eyes wide, eyes looking over Seth as he buries his head in his hands, trying to spot a sigh of his outburst.

"I was supposed to be doing everything, you're supposed to be resting. Paul's going to kill me." He groans. I chuckle, patting him on the shoulder before taking my seat.

"Don't worry, I'll shield you." Seth grins at me, and flashes Caspar a thumbs up, which he returns.

The table was quiet as we drank our respective drinks, the Beta not once making eye contact with me.

"So, I think we should introduce ourselves properly to our newcomer." I say, breaking the silence, the others look at me expectantly. "Right I'll start." Looking directly at the Beta, waiting until he peeks his eyes up curiously from the table top and catches my eyes before I start. "My names Moth, I'm eighteen and I'm Caspar's mama. I like long walks and have a new appreciation of Italian food. I dislike liquorice." I say lightheartedly, nose scrunching at the memory of trying a small bite from Markus's sweet stash, causing Seth to snort. Caspar claps happily and I see some of the tension leave the betas shoulders as he takes Caspar's lead.

Seth quickly gulps down his tea, not seeming to notice the heat of it as he waves his hand and clears his throat. "Me next ! Hi I'm Seth, I'm fifteen. I love my family and my friends and being a wolf. I hate math and when people say I'm too young to join in."

Me and Caspar clap our hands, the Beta hesitantly Copies.

"My turwn! My turwn! I'm Casparw, I'm fwee. I love mama and my fwiends." He looks over to the Beta, "And my bwotherw." He looks back around at the rest of us. " I don't like cawots or mushwooms." He scrunched his nose thinking of the dreaded two then giggles when Seth agrees and mock gags as he mimes eating a mushroom.

We clap our hands for a pleased looking Caspar before we all turn to look at the Beta.

He fidgets under our gazes for a while, looking from the table top to us and back again.

Finally he takes in a breath and says, "C-cake." He blushed and ducks his head, hair falling forward, covering his face.

"You like cake ?" Caspar asks excitedly. The Beta nods his head slowly. We clap our hands at the Beta for joining in.

"We should make one ! It can be to celebrate you coming here !" Seth exclaims, Caspar agrees happily.

"Oh no, you'll just end up messing around and leaving me to bake it _and_ clean up afterwards. No." I say firmly.

Caspar and Seth turn to me with excitement sparkling in their eyes. "Please mama." Caspar pleads. " We'll be good."

The Beta looks over at me, eyes peeking from beneath his mop of hair. Looking around the table, seeing the wide eyed looks of pleading from the group, even the Beta looking cautiously excited at the idea. I knew what defeat looked like and it was three pairs of big, brown eyes. "Alright, alright enough with the puppy eyes ! You better write down what cake you want to make because I'll have to pop into town to pick the ingredients up." I stand and place some paper and a pen on the table.

"No! I should go, you're supposed to be resting." Seth says determinedly, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest.

I laugh and rustle his hair. "You can't go, you'll end up forgetting something then the cake won't be able to be finished. Besides you have to stay and keep an eye on these two trouble makers for me." I wink as the Beta looks wide eyed at me.

Seth looks at me unsurley.

"I'll be there and back as quickly as I can." I reassure him.

"But you're injuries."

"Ill be fine Seth. I've dealt with worse." He doesn't loom comforted by this fact.

"That really makes me feel better." He says sarcastically.

Rolling my eyes, I grab the list of the table and slip my shoes on, going round to give Caspar a kiss on the cheek and rustle the Beta's hair. He flinches slightly but I smile softly. "You'll be alright with them while I'm out ?"

Seth sighs heavily. "Yes. I still don't think you should be going on your own, let's all go."

"We can't all go." I flick my eyes towards the Beta, seeing Seth take in his inhuman form.

"Okay, but be quick. Paul's definitely going to kill me." He buries his face in his hands, Caspar pats his on the back consolingly.

"Don't worry Seth. I'll be there and back before you know it. Paul won't even know I was gone."

... ... ... ...

 _Why are the shelves so high ?_ I glare up at the item in question, placed innocently on the top shelf, I couldn't even touch it standing on my tiptoes.

True to my word I hadn't wasted anytime getting to the store and making my way around the place, grabbing any ingredients necessary and a few odd bits I thought we needed. But of course the last item on my list didn't want to cooperate with my easy as pie plan. Casting a glance either side of me for any help, I'm met with quickly averted eyes as people didn't want to be caught as they gawped at my unusual looks.

Sighing I try again, Stretching up as far as possible, pain shooting through my side causing me to groan quietly as I lean into the shelves for support and leverage to stretch higher. My fingertips brush the top of the shelf, inches away from the plump bag of flour, sitting stoutly just out of reach.

Giving up I plant my feet back on the floor, reach forward and flick over a small bottle of food colouring before sighing and restanding it neatly back in its place.

"Need help ?"

My spine straightens when I hear the chuckle from behind me. Wincing I slowly turn my head to spot Paul standing there, arms crossed, a reluctant smile on his face. "What are you doing here ?" I ask, clasping my hands and the shopping basket behind my back guiltily, feeling sheepish at being caught out.

"I should be asking you that. You're supposed to be at home resting."

"I was just grabbing a few things." I say defensively. My back pressing against the shelves. His dark eyes take in my hunched form as I peeked up at him through my lashes. He strides forward, stopping toe to toe with me. Eyes on mine he reaches up, easily grabbing the flour of the top shelf, he gazes down at me, hand coming around my waist. I gasp as he pulls me towards him, pressing me against his scorching form. His arms move around me as he leans down towards me, mouth coming closer to mine, I lean into him, tilting my face up towards his breathlessly. His lips pause just millimetres away from mine as the weight of the flour plunks into the basket behind my back before being swept quickly away into Paul's hand.

"Come on." He moves away from me, walking a little ways away before turning back and seeing my flushed face. He grins cockily at me, handing his hand out for me to take. scowling at the smug look on his face I step forward, batting his hand away, I raise my hands to his face bring it down towards me as I lean up and kiss him. I slip away from him and take a few steps away towards the cashier as he tries to bring his arms around me with a groan. Looking Back over my shoulder at his confused frown, I imitate his earlier grin.

"Come on then."

I try to put as much of a seductive sway into my hips as possible as I saunter away from him, laughing when he catches up to me with a growl and presses me back against the shelves, dropping the basket at our feet and pressing his lips back against mine, one hand going to my hair and the other to the small of my back. Moulding himself against me he completely envelopes me, the sheer size of his being blocking out the sights and sounds around me.

I'm breathless when he pulls away from me, frowning as I follow his retreating movement, burying my face against his neck, my arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Humming happily as his arms wrap tightly around my waist, I feel the deep grumble of satisfaction as he leans back to look down into my eyes. He leans down to press our foreheads together briefly, smiling warmly at the soft sound of content I make at the contact, then pulls away, reaching down to pick up the basket with one hand whilst keeping the other wrapped firmly around my waist as we walk to the check out.

... ... ... ...

"Where have you been !? Paul could be here any minu- uh, hey Paul." Seth frantic tirade is cut short when he sees Paul walking in behind me. Paul crosses his arms over his massive chest just watching the sheepish looking teen.

Seth opens his mouth to explain, only to sigh in defeat when Paul simply cocks his eyebrow. "Sorry." He huffs, head drooping, looking remorseful.

"Leave him alone, it's not his fault I'm stubborn." Swatting Paul's arm I hold the bag of ingredients out to Seth and Caspar. Seth takes the bag excitement lighting up his face as he leads Caspar and the Beta he's towing along over to the kitchen, pulling a stool out for Caspar and taking all the ingredients out of the bag, placing them out on the counter.

"Don't forget to wash your hands." I call as I couch down to untie my shoes. Placing them neatly next to the back door. I hear the boys rustle around in the kitchen, Caspar demonstrating how to properly wash your hands to the Beta. When I stand I see the boys standing in a line waiting for my instructions, laughing I turn to Paul as he plants himself at the table. "Want to join ?"

He glances over at the three standing waiting, chuckling as he shakes his head. "I think I'll just watch the madness from a safe distance."

"Hey !" Seth shouts.

Smiling wider I turn to the guys and clap my hands together, "'right, shall we start ?" The three nod there heads, the Beta much more reservedly than the other two. I quickly delegate the three to their tasks, giving quick demonstrations when necessary, and grab one of Markus's beers from the fridge and place it in front of Paul, quickly stepping back into the chaos without missing a beat.

Flour flies as the troublesome pair get distracted but I quickly set them straight with the threat of not letting them eat the cakes they were working so hard on. After making the huge bowl of batter, enough for a few cake tins worth, hopefully enough to satisfy the wolves formidable apitite. We had to bake them in rounds since my oven wasn't big enough to do them all at once so I made some lunch for us to eat in between bakes.

Paul caught me and pulled me onto his lap as I flitted around the kitchen with a rag in my hands, wiping the cake batter of the kitchen surfaces. He takes the cloth from my hand, chucking it off to the unoccupied side of the table and slides his pile of sandwiches in front of me to pick of off.

"Eat." He grumble in between bites. He eats with one hand while he rests his free hand on the bare skin exposed below the hem of my dress. I flash him a glare, catching his motive to feed me easily.

"I've already had some." I complain, reaching for another half anyway, knowing that it was pointless to argue this issue with him.

"Then eat some more. You're too skinny. You need some meat on your bones."

"You don't seem to mind what I already have." I say, glancing pointedly at his hand sweeping fire into my exposed skin. He just grunts at me with a mouthful of food, hand squeezing my thigh before relaxing his grip and going back to brushing small circle into my skin with his thumb.

I nibble on my half as I listen to the others chat amicably, smiling as I see the Beta looking more relaxed after our little cake making project, his eyes looking softer and not wide with caution, his nostrils no longer flaring at the strong scents of different wolves setting off his inbuilt instincts to stay away. He blushes as Seth gives him a compliment on how fast he can whisk, complaining that his arm ached when he tried to do it and that he couldn't get rid of all the lumps, Caspar excitedly agreeing with him and laughing as Seth flexed his muscles as he tried to do the same.

Laughing I suddenly freeze, hand flashing down and snatching Paul's hand away from me as I feel his thumb brush a particular scar on the inside of my thigh.

Eyes snapping up to mine he looks from my hard grip on his wrist to my wide eyes. "Moth ?"

Embarrasssed about my reaction I'm thankful when the timer for the last cake goes off. Letting go of his wrist I hurriedly hop off his lap and rush to to kitchen, getting the cake from the oven and setting it to the side. I call the boys over and get the items I brought for icing and decorating out so they can decorate and assemble the already cooled cakes while the remaining ones cool properly.

As I help the boys with their cakes I feel the sharp gaze of Paul burning a hole into me, but I keep my gaze averted, focusing on my tasks.

"Beta, can you pass me the blue frosting ?" Seth asks, the Beta nods rapidly, and passes the bowl with the frosting over. Caspar frowns thoughtfully at the little exchange turning to tug on the beta's shirt to get his attention.

"Is Beta yourw name ?" He asks around his pink frosting covered fingers he has stuck in his mouth. The Beta looks down shaking his head, Caspar looks confused by his response. "Then why do people call you that ?"

"Because that's what he is." Seth explains.

"But he said that's not his name." He says even more confused now.

"He doesn't have a name Cass." I smile sadly at the Beta as he glances at me from beneath his hair, quickly averting his gaze back to the little twirls of frosting he's piping onto the cake.

"What ? But everwy one has a name !" He says.

"Not him baby." I say stroking his hair.

Seth looks up from his work at us and sees the three off us looking solemn. Clapping his hands to get our attention. "We should come up with a name !" He beams his idea at us.

"Yeah !" Caspar excitedly agrees. The Beta looks stunned by the idea.

"Don't just go deciding things by yourselves. Make sure he's alright with this." I warn the two.

They don't seem to hear me as they talk loudly about name options. After arguing for a while Seth proclaims that Caspar should be the one to name him since he was his brother. Turning suddenly to the startled looking Beta he puts his finger to his chin and looks the Beta over assessingly. His eyes narrow in on the betas clawed hands and he claps his hands together decisively.

"Pewegwine !"

Seth and I look over at each other before I turn back towards my pleased looking son.

"Peregrine ?"

The Beta stands frozen, staring down at his younger brother.

"Mhmm. He has the talons." He reasons. The Beta clenches his hands and hides them behind his back as he bows his head. Not liking the reaction Caspar hops of his stool and rushes over to his brother, tugging on his sleeve until he brings his hands out from behind his back and takes his hands. "And yourw eyes are sharwp and watchful." The betas head snaps back up. Caspar holds his gaze before breaking the intense moment with a wide smile. "Pewy for showrt !"

"Hmm Perry. I like it ! It suits you man." Seth claps the newly named Beta on the shoulder. The Beta takes no notice of the teen, focusing in on his brother.

Caspar seems to notice the look on his face as he watches his brother. Seeming wise beyond his three years his grip tightens on his brothers hands. "Everwythings okay now. Me and mama arwe with you. You'rwe not alone anymorwe. Your'rwe safe." Perry sinks down tears in his eyes as Caspar holds his arms out for a hug, tears from seeing the other upset gathering in his own eyes.

"Thank you." He murmurs accepting the offered comfort. Meeting my eyes before burying his head against Caspar's curls. "Thank you." Feeling the tears in my own eyes I crouch down and wrap my arms around the brothers feeling Perrry tense before they both turn and wrap themselves around me. The wolf in Perry responding to the physical comfort.

"It's okay." I sooth the pair of teary brothers as my watery eyes meet Paul's heavy gaze. "Everything's okay now."


	31. Apologies

"Moth." Turning to look over my shoulder from my spot on the couch watching Caspar and Perry colour in Cass's favourite book on the soft rug, I spot Markus standing stiffly in the doorway. "Can I speak to you please ?" Nodding to him I watch as he walks out onto the front porch before turning back to the brothers and smiling at them.

"I'll be right back." I assure them, Caspar agrees without looking up but Perry watches me leave nervously, looking between me and the direction of the kitchen where the boisterous sound of the pack came from.

"It's fine Perry, Caspar will look after you while I'm gone, right Cass ?"

Looking up when he heard me reassure his brother, Caspar nods vigorously. "Wight ! I'll look after you."

Walking back over I crouch down and rustle Perry's hair. "Don't worry, the guys look scary but they're nice people. They won't do anything to you." Standing back up and walking over to the door I look back over my shoulder. "I'll be right out here, just call if you need anything." Seeing the pair nod I exit the house and close the door quietly behind me.

Markus stood leaning against the porch rail, looking out into the trees surround the area, his shoulders were tensed and his fingers tapped agitatedly against the wooden rail.

Walking over I rest my hand over his. Pressing my shoulder against his as I feel the tension deflate out of him at the contact.

"I'm sorry." He says turning to look at me, eyes showing his sincerity. " I should have told you. I just wanted to give you and Caspar the best chance to get out."

"I know." I answer, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I'd never treat you like they did. I'd never try to control you. You're like a daughter to me, I'd never hurt you. I just wanted you out of there, Moth."

"I know, Markus. But that's not how we do things now. You're the only father figure I've ever had, and I love you so much. We're family. No more keeping secrets. Okay ?" He nods his head jerkily, wiping tears from his eyes before they could fall. "Now I think you need to apologise to someone else. Don't you ?"

Looking towards the door Markus steels himself. Turning back to me. "Love you too, kiddo." He places a kiss on my cheek before walking back int the house.

I turn away from the door looking back out towards the trees.

The breeze rustles my hair across my shoulders as I stand and bask in the warmth of the sun on my face.

A loud squeal suddenly rushes past me as Jake runs past me holding Caspar who laughed madly, urging his brother to keep up as Seth burst from the house and chases after the trio. The others from the house follow them out at a more sedate pace. Bringing blankets and cushions, plates and the cakes we baked earlier out. Emily lays the blanket and plates out, the. Slices the cakes and piles the plates with them as the guys sit themselves on the blankets and help themselves to the large amount of food. Caspar pouts as Emily takes a larger portion from his hands and replaces it with a more appropriate slice. I couldn't help but smile as the guys startled digging into their food, still amused by their enthusiastic appetites.

Paul hadn't come out with the other, causing me to frown, wondering where he was.

"Mama ! Come and twy some !" Caspar calls, patting the spot next to him, icing around his mouth.

"In a minute baby. Save some from me, make sure Seth doesn't eat my slice." I reply, chuckling when Caspar slides a plate away from Seth, glaring at the older boy in warning, looking more cute than menacing. Seth held his hands up in mock surrender anyway, causing Caspar to look pleased with himself turning to make sure his brother had seen how good he had been.

Turning from my toddlers antics I walk through the house looking into the rooms to find Paul.

I find him sitting on the back porch, broad back hunched, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked out, face hard, not giving away what he was thinking.

I pad over to him softly, sitting down next to him, near enough to feel the heat radiating from his body but not close enough to touch.

I don't say anything, seeing if he would tell me what was on his mind. I thought that I had probably upset him with my earlier actions, the fact that he had made no move to touch me like he normally would only made me more certain that this was the case.

"I'm sorry." I feel him turn to look at, I feel my face redden under his scrutiny. "It was nothing personal. It's just this reflex I have. I didn't mean to upset you." My eyes stay glued to my hands as they fiddle with the hem of my dress.

His hand moves to take mine, pulling them away from their restless fidgeting, his thumbs brushing against my knuckles. "You haven't upset me, Moth."

"Then why are you back here by yourself and not with the others." I look down at our entwined hands. "You wouldn't even look at me when I sat next to you." I breath.

He moves his hand to rest under my chin, bringing my eyes up to his. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the fuckers who made you react like that." Frowinging at him, I tilt my head questioningly. He sighs, running his hand through his hair roughly. "You may of noticed that I love touching you." He states matter of factly.

"I noticed." I smile softly squeezing his hand in mine.

"I love touching you and I do. I've touched some of your other scars before, and you've never even batted an eye when I've asked about them. You act like how you got them didn't even affect you. But this one." He rests his hands on my thigh just bellow the scar, making my whole body tense and my palms sweat. "I'm not even touching it and you look like you're going to throw up." He growls. "Does this one have something to do with why you don't like sex ?"

A little gasp escapes my throat at the question. My mouth opens and closes, no sound coming out, my reply getting suck in my throat. Not able to answer I just nod my head jerkily, taking in a shaky breath. My eyes rooted to his large hand, thumb just below the scar.

Paul leans forward and presses his forehead to mine.

"Show me." He asks quietly.

I shake my head rapidly, starting to pull away. He brings his hand up to cup my cheek, kissing me softly.

"I can't." I say pained. "You'll be disgusted."

"I'd never think that about you. You're so beautiful, baby." He murmurs back against my lips, pressing another barely there kiss to my parted lips.

My chest rises and falls heavily with my erratic breathing.

"Show me, Moth."

Taking in a deep, rasping breath, I slowly nod my head. "Okay." I lick my lips nervously, hands shaking as I move one to move up the hem of my dress, shifting so my leg lay open slightly, revealing the scar. "Okay." Fighting the urge to cover it up and hide it away, I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling him kiss me reassuringly before drawing away. My hands rest on his forearms, using his strength to anchor myself.

His body goes rigid under my hands.

"Is that-?" He breaks off, voice harsh. Tremors racing through his body.

"He bit me." I whisper, eyes still tightly closed. "He was-" I swallow hard. "Then he bit me."

A vicious snarl leaves Paul's throat as he shifts, the force of it knocking me back. I let out a pained grunt as my head thuds heavily against the porch floor, vaguely registering the sound of the back door slamming open.

"Paul !"

"Moth !"

My eyes open groggily as a low rumble come from the blazing heat of Paul's wolf crouched over me.


	32. Jackass

_A/n : sorry for the long wait, had trouble with this chapter. Still not completely happy with it but I'm tired and I don't want to rewrite it again. So sorry for any spelling/ grammar errors, I'm going to go through it again tomorrow, when it's been posted and I can't change it around. Hope you enjoy the chapter. :p_

* * *

 **.32.**

"Moth, don't move." Sam says urgently, eyes not leaving Paul, his voice carefully steady. Jacob and Jared stood behind him, looking between Paul and I.

Ignoring his concerns I turn over onto my front with a groan, rising up on my elbows and dragging myself forward a bit, trying to get out from under him. Paul uses his nose to push me back down, re-covering me and growling warningly at Sam when he steps towards me.

"Paul." I say quietly, trying to draw his attention to me unsuccessfully.

Sweating from the heat of being under his whole body I look over to Sam. "Go back out the front. He won't relax while their are other men around me." I whisper, knowing they could hear me. After a short pause Sam nods his head.

"Moth." Jacob pauses, reluctant to leave.

"Go. I'll be fine. He won't hurt me." I assure the worried teen.

Pauls eyes stayed glued on the retreating trio, posture not relaxing even when they were gone from sight.

"Paul. It's just us here. No one's going to hurt me." I sooth, moving my hand around to rest on his furred chest. "I'm safe." He lowers his head and laps at my exposed shoulder, nuzzling the side of my face with his. His fur tickling against my skin as he moves so that he's curled around me protectively. I snuggle into his side as he rests his head against my thigh. "I'm safe." I murmur against him, running my hand through his fur. His wet nose presses against my thigh, warm breath fanning across my skin.

We stay curled up for a long while. The softness and warmth surrounding me making me drowsy, as I lay against him, eyes drooping.

I feel the fur shift into smooth skin beneath me and Paul's firm arms come around me, holding me tight against his chest. He buries his face against my neck.

"Sorry." I say softly against his skin, feeling him tense and draw back. Bringing his face to mine he kisses me deeply, hands cupping my face, mine holding his wrists.

"Don't you ever apologise for what they did to you." He kisses me again. "Or for me for me being a hotheaded asshole." He mutters, one hand running through my hair to rest gentle against the area I bumped my head against the porch boards.

"You're not an asshole." I whispers, turning my head to kiss the palm of his hand.

"I lost it Moth." He resists his forehead against mine. "I could have hurt you."

Knowing that he was thinking about what happened to Emily I smile at him, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. "I'm okay."

"Just picturing someone treating you like that." The tremors racing through his limbs again. Smoothing my hands up his chest to his shoulders then down his arms, I follow the movement of my hands with my eyes.

"It's over. I'm away from there now." I look up, meeting his intense gaze. "I'm here with you now." Leaning forward I rests a kiss against his shoulder, running my hands up slowly to wrap my arms around his neck, lips following, pressing butterfly kisses against his skin. I trail softly up his neck and across his clenched jaw with my lips, pressing a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth before resting my forehead against him. "You'd never let anyone hurt me like that."

Paul growls as he claims my mouth, easily lifting me into his lap as he kisses me deeply, leaving me breathless. I draw away slowly, pressing softer kisses against his lips before burying my face into the crook of his neck, cheeks bright red.

"Are you blushing ?" Paul asks, hand running through my hair and down my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"I can't help it. Damn skin doesn't hide anything." I mutter against his neck.

"I love your skin." His hands run down my shoulder, slowly trailing down my arm to my hand resting against his chest. "It's so pale, like the moon. You almost glow in the night." He draws back cupping my burning cheek with his hand.

"And you're not helping." I grumble, kissing his palm, feeling my blush up to the tip of my ears. He laughs, leaning forward to kiss my nose before burying his face in the crook of my neck, kissing my skin languidly. I hum happily as I wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly against me, just content to be close to him while he took the comfort he needed from me. I feel his hand move to brush the bite on my thigh again, making me tense momentarily before relaxing quickly, muttering an apology when he draws back with a frown.

"You know I'd never hurt you." He says, one hand staying on my thigh and the other cupping the side of my neck, thumb brushing against my jaw.

"I know. I told you it's not you. It's just a reflex." I assure him, placing my hand over his.

He looks me over, eyes flicking from the bite scar as he traces it, to my face. It feels strange to let him touch it but I push through to show him that I trust him, though I can't hide the tremours in my hands.

His eyes soften as he watches me, leaning forward to reclaim my mouth, growling when I melt into him. "I'll kill whoever did this to you."

"You can't." I gasp when he nips my bottom lip. "He's already dead."

"Good." He grunts, pullling away from me and brushing my hair from my face. " I hope the fucker suffered."

"No." I whisper. "It was quick."

He watches me, waiting for me to elaborate.

"They found out what he was doing. They were furious that he was tampering with me. They were scared he'd get me pregnant and ruin their plans." Meeting his eye I felt my own glaze over with past events. "I was on my back. It was painful because he had tied my arms behind my back. He had one hand over my mouth and nose, I kept trying to move my head so I could get more air through my nose. He was straddled over me and he was trying to get his belt undone, but he was struggling because he could only use one hand." I felt the fury build in Paul again so I take his hands in mine. "It happened so quickly." I breathed, looking down at our joined hands, feeling his hold tighten over mine. "The door burst open, then his hand went limp over my mouth and he vomited blood over my face, then he was off me and I was being hauled up and out of the room, into the lab and he was being dragged away somewhere." taking in a chalky breath I look back up into Paul's blazing eyes. "I showered constantly for a long time after that, I always stank of that anticeptic stuff but I could never get rid of the smell of blood." Smiling slightly I let go of Paul's hands and rise to my feet, hugging my arms around myself and looking over the clearing. "Of course that all stopped, when I had Caspar. I didn't have time to wash constantly." Hearing him rise to his feet I keep my eyes on the trees. "I still smell it occasionally. When I dream about what happened, I swear I can smell the blood. But Markus tells me that that's not unusually for someone who's been through trauma." I shrug lightly, shivering when I feel Paul's arms wrap around me, as he pulls me to him, pressing my back tightly against his chest.

I tilt my head to the side as he trails kisses up my neck.

"You have nightmares ?" He asks.

"Mhmm."

"About what ?"

Flashes of the pack's and Caspar's lifeless bodies strewn across the field flash across my mind. "Lots of things." Turning around to face him my, taking in his troubled expression. Rising to my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck I draw him down to me, kissing him softly. "I like the way you make me feel like I don't have to fight by myself anymore. if I fought of an enemy you would tell me off for getting hurt then kiss away my pain. I've never felt like this before and I never want to be without this feeling again." His eyes burn as he squeezes me to him, lifting me off my feet. Hugging him back just as tightly my eyes drift over to the house when I see movement in the window. "We have an audience." I murmur against his ear.

Paul turns to see The guys, minus Sam peeking through the window facing us. Seeing that they'd been caught they make their way out to us sheepishly. Caspar runs up to me, holding out his arms as Paul's moves to the side and raises his eyebrows at the others as they shuffle out onto the porch.

"What ?" Seth squares up to Paul's unimpressed glare. " We were just making sure you didn't maul her you hot tempered jackass."

"Paul Jackass ?" Caspar looks around innocently. "What's that ?" Seth stutters under mine and Paul's glare as the others try and smother their laughs.

"What's a jackass Pewwy?" Caspar turns to his older brother, head tilted questioningly.

Perry shrugs in reply, looking around at the others for help.

"It's a bad word Cass. You should go and tell him off." Jake jokes as he watched Caspar wriggle out of my arms to the floor and start running towards Seth, laughing giddily as the others join him as he chases Seth down the steps and across the clearing. The bulky group and Cass chase the young teen around, lunging to take him down but Seth evades them with his lithe speed. Paul and I laugh at the groups sepctacle.

Markus, Sam and Emily come around the house holding the blankets and a pot of tea. Sam looks towards Paul as Emily and Markus sit themselves on the spread blankets, Emily pouring Markus a cup of tea then one for herself. Giving Paul a stern look that meant he was going to get a talking to later he gestures his head towards the group, grinning and taking off after them, Paul turning to plant a firm kiss on my lips before following his alpha with a laugh and a shake of his head.

As they join the effort of catching a slippery Seth, I see Perry standing unsurely just off the last step. Stepping down next to him I smile as he jerks his attention to me, eyes roaming my face searchingly in case of danger.

"It's alright. You can play with the others if you want. No one will hurt you." I assure the older wolf.

"M-might hurt them." He says looking down at his shuffling feet.

"You won't hurt them." I smile taking his hand. "Even if you did, accidentally." I say firmly as he looks at me stricken. "They heal. Like you."

"They do ?" He asks, looking over at the rowdy group. "Caspar too ?"

" No not Caspar. But I trust you not to hurt him, and you should trust yourself." Walking away from him I slowly walk towards the group, circling around them, eyes flicking between what they were doing and Perry, who watched thoughtfully. "Now. Shall we help your baby brother ?" I tilt my head towards the guys.

Perry looks between me and the group before taking a deep breath and nodding, offering me a small grin, becoming less nervous when I return the grin toothily and resume circling an evasive Seth, seeing Perry circle the other way into position. Looking over at Perry once I'm in a good position I show a thumbs up and see one in return. Lifting three fingers in the air I count them down, seeing the excitement build in Perry as he crouches low to the ground.

Three.

Seth arcs around Jared getting closer.

Two

"Give up yet ?" Seth shouts over his shoulder.

One.

"Go !" We spring into action.

Seth never stood a chance.


	33. Take It Easy

_My breath heaved in my lungs as I slam the staff bathroom door, locking and jamming the key deeper to try and prolong them getting in._

 _'Go on. Scream. No one can hear you here.'_

 _I threw up in the sink, hastily turning on the cold tap, rising my mouth out and splashing water onto my face, trying to break through the fog in my mind._

 _The door handle rattled as a whitecoat tried to open the door, cursing when he couldn't get the key into the lock. "Specimen Alpha you are to open this door right now or I'll be forced to take action and have you restrained and put into isolation." He rattled the handle again. "Specimen Alpha."_

 _Ignoring the man I look up into the mirror above the row of sinks, The black and blue of my odd eyes stare wide eyed and wild back at me, pupils blown with the adrenaline racing through my body._

 _'Do you know the first thing I saw when I first layed eyes on you ?'_

 _cringing away from the reflection, seeing my inner horror staring back at me through my hated eyes, I hastily run my trembling fingers over the thick bandage covering my wrist, feeling the edge of the object tucked under a crease in the bandage. Digging my fingers under the neat strips, I sob in frustration when the sharp corners get caught on the torn threads of the bandage. My eyes urgently flicking between my task and the door, heart-rate increasing when I hear more voices at the door._

 _"Specimen Alpha. We have engaged protocol, get down on the floor and spread your hands out wide, you will be restrained and drastic measures will be taken if you do not cooperate or attempt to resist."_

 _The heavy thud of a boot against the flimsy wood door makes me flinch as my fingers fantacle work to get the object free from the material loosening around my arm._

 _I finally tear the small silver object from my bandages, feeling the sting of sharp edges cutting into my fingers as I squeeze the cold metal in my hand, pain anchoring me._

 _Another thud against the door, wood splintering under the weight._

 _My breath huffing out of my chest in erratic little gasp, my lungs burning as I hyperventilated._

 _Mismatched eyes meeting mismatched eyes, not recognising the emotion pouring from the usually vacant stare reflected back at them._

 _'Do you know know why I can't get you out of my fucking head ?'_

 _The door swings open, slamming against the wall as bodies swarm into the room as I slash the razor against my face._

 _'Those fucking eyes.'_

* * *

"You've been quiet today."

Looking up from where I was sat watching Caspar and Perry play through the window from the kit, I meet Markus's eyes as he watches me worriedly.

"Im just tired."

"And you've been running your fingers over that scar on your cheek for about half an hour." He continues on ignoring my reason.

Dropping my hand from my face I let it drop to my lap. "Like I said. I'm just tired."

Eyeing me he sighs as he takes in the dark circles under my eyes and the slight drop in my shoulders he leans forward and takes my hand. "Why don't you go lie down, I'll watch the boys."

"I'm fine, Markus. Let me just wake up a bit. I've got loads of stuff to do around the house today."

"Moth, just take it easy today yeah ?"

It's only housework Markus. Speaking of, your in charge of getting the boys to do their chores and your own room. If you have any clothes that need washing get them or you'll have to wait for next time and it's your turn to do the washing next." I flash him a reassuring smile.

He studies me, eyebrow cocked, letting me know I'm not fooling him, but he gives in with a sigh, "Fine, But I'll do the boys chores for today." When I open my mouth to argue he just shakes his head and gestures outside. "They're in the middle of a game, Perry actually looks like he's relaxing and having fun. Well get them to set the table and do the dishes later."

Looking back out over to the two I smile softly at the sight of Perry holding his hands over his eyes tightly as Caspar looked around frantically for somewhere to hide.

"Just take it easy today Moth, okay ? You really do look like you haven't slept for a week."

"Thanks." I mutter back.

"Moth."

Turning to look at Markus I feel a twinge of guilt for the worried expression creasing his brow. "Okay Markus. I'll take it easy, no construction work for me today, I promise." I grin as I move out of the room, pecking him on the cheek as I pass him.

"I mean it Moth. Take it easy !"

"Yes, yes. I will." I wave over my shoulder.

... ... ...

Humming to myself, I snap the sheet up and down before hanging it over the washing line.

My eyes lazily look over the trees and the birds as they fly overhead, enjoying the peacefulness of the warm day.

Feeling like I should listen more often when people told me to take it easy, I breathed in the fresh air of the forest, sharp nose picking up the scents that swirled in the breezed. My mind going back to the dream I'd had last night.

It had been awhile since I had dreamt about that day, the event itself seeming to have happened forever ago.

I couldn't even recognise the me from back then. I was reckless and injured myself often through punishments, fights and even my own doing on bad occasions. My mind was clouded in a dark smog that I couldn't shake. A fog that only cleared when I saw my baby for the first time and I knew I had to be more for him, I had to be better.

Looking around I spot Perry peering through the bushes around the edge of my small bit of land, Caspar's hiding skills much improved since he'd had plenty of practice, roping in anyone who'd play at any chance he could get. He'd become quite adept at the game.

Shaking my head with a small smile I turn back to the washing, pegging the sheets to the line.

After another five minutes I heard the careful step of Perry walk up behind me as I lift Caspar's favourite canary yellow shirt to the line.

"Moth."

"Hmm ?" Turning my head as I reach into the basket to pick up another bit of washing, I see Perry shuffling his feet nervously as he struggles to meet my eyes.

Seeing that I'd turned, Perry's eyes glue themselves firmly to his hands as the fiddle with the edge of his t-shirt, his head dropping lower and his shoulder drooping.

"What's the matter Perry ?"

I see his mouth open and close as he tries to answer, but no words come out.

Dropping one of Markus's vibrant Hawaiian shirts that I had been holding back into the basket, I turn fully and walk over to the taller man, taking his hand and looking up into his face, tucking a finger under his chin and lifting his gaze to mine.

He startles at my action.

I chuckle at his reaction, thinking that him and Caspar had gotten into some sort of mischief.

"Its alright Perry, whatever it is you can tell me. I won't be mad."

Eyes searching mine, he squeezes my hand tightly.

"Caspar." He says hesitantly.

"Perry just tell me." I smile at him ruefully. "Did you help Caspar reach the cookie jar again ?"

"I-I can't find him." His eyes drop to the floor, fearing my reaction.

Not Feeling any alarm I simply squeeze his hand, before turning back to the washing, quickly hanging the shirt, grabbing the basket and turning back to Perry, smiling at his wide eyed look and gesturing for him to follow me back into the house.

"All that practice must have payed of if he's finally managed to beat you. Have you tried yelling that you give up ?" Shaking his head he goes to do as I suggested, cupping his hands around his mouth as he start circling the house.

Leaving him to it I was up the porch and into the house, making sure Perry wasn't in hearing range as I find Markus sitting at the table eating the leftovers from yesterday's dinner.

Placing the basket on the sideboard, I take the seat next to him, taking the fork from his hand and taking a bite of potato before handing it back. "Caspar managed to beat Perry, did you see where he hid ?" I ask, keeping my voice low.

"No, must be somewhere good if he beat Perry's sharp nose." He mused.

We both look up as Perry walks into the room, looking alarmed. "He won't come out. I-I can't smell him."

Feeling unease creeping into the calmness of the afternoon I turn to Markus. He frowns when he sees the worry in my eyes.

"He's probably waiting for us to stop looking for him so we won't see his hiding place and he can surprise us." Markus assures. Me and Perry look doubtfully between each other, He cowers away from me as I stand and walk to stand next to him, looking out the window for any sign of movement.

"Lets just wait before you both go getting worked up, let's give him until the guys come before we start raising the alarm, I'm sure he'll leap out and scare the crap out of Seth as soon as he arrives, then brag about his victory."

Looking back at him, his his face softens at the fear in my eyes.

"It's different here Moth. There aren't people waiting for you to drop your guard. And besides the pack patrols these woods so one of the guys will probably spot him when they make their rounds past here. Don't panic Moth. He's going to be fine, and back before you know it."

Searching the old mans face and seeing nothing but certainty I nod my head. "Okay. I'll give him until the guys arrive. If he's hasn't come out by then I'm going to look for him. In wolf. And I don't give a fuck if I scare any of those gun wielding humans."

"Thats fine. He'll be back long before that will even happen and you'll be fussing over him while he tells you all about his amazing hiding place. I'm sure of it. Come and sit down Perry and relax, Moth worries enough for everyone." Glaring halfheartedly at him I take a seat, eyes glued outside, waiting for the soft footfalls of my toddler.

 _You better be back soon baby, or mamas not going to be happy._


	34. River

**.34.**

No more waiting.

It was rapidly darkening outside, the guys hadn't arrived and there was still no sign of Caspar.

My no panicking thing had long flown out of the window.

Leaving the small route I had been pacing around the house, I quickly storm through to the kitchen, rapidly undressing as I went.

"You two stay here in case anyone turns up, I'm going to look for him. Shout if anything happens." I say, Markus calls from behind me as I sprint out of the house, across the yard and into the trees, swiftly shifting into my wolf, nose high in the air, trying to pick up his familiar smell, growling frustratedly when I couldn't pick up anything. Changing plan I lower my nose to the ground, circling around the trees just outside of the clearing around my house. I sniff the groundlike a hunting dog for any leads.

I pause on a spot that smelt strongly of moss, unusual as there was none in sight, and other out of place aromas. The scent trailed away from the house.

It was Caspar.

He'd put the tricks Seth had taught him to use. Using the plants and dirt from the forest to mask his scent. I would of laughed if I wasn't so worried.

Remembering the day Caspar had poured a cup of water over himself after Seth had told him water would help hide tracks, and the direction of the earthy scent, I knew that Caspar had headed towards the river that separated the pack land from the Coven's territory.

Panic pushed me to move. My limbs straining to move faster and faster. Nose occasionally lowering to make sure I'm on the right track.

 _Please let him be okay._

 _... ... ..._

The night had settled by the time I reached the river, my sharp eyes searching the dark bank for movement.

Sniffing along the edge, my frustration grew as the damp earth gave no clues.

Stopping still I rise on my hind legs. Standing tall I let out short, sharp barks before stopping and waiting for any sounds. Moving down the bank I repeat, barks getting louder in fear.

After a long while, my heart in my throat I throw my head back and howl, long and low, into the air, calling to my baby.

I hear a cry in the distance.

My ears perk up, straining to hear the sound again.

Nothing.

I howl again.

"Mama !" Caspar wails from further down the bank.

Relief floods through me as I race down the river, jarring to a halt at a the sight of a small skid of mud leading down into the river. Shifting as I leap down, bare feet landing painfully on the jagged ground, I hear another call. Spinning I spot the source of the wails.

Caspar lay crumpled and muddy just bellow the tall side of the river bank. Tears streamed through the mud that caked his face.

"Mama. Mama" His voice rasps as he cries out, arms stretched towards me. His throat sounded sore, as though he'd been calling for a long time.

Feeling an unbearable pressure in my chest I sweep forward and bring my sopping, muddy baby into my arms, burying my face against his neck and rocking him gently as he clutches desperately at me.

"Mama. Scarwed." His body shakes in my arms, from being drenched in the cold water and from the shock of the whole ordeal.

"I'm here baby. I've got you." I press kisses against his hair. "I've got you." I push back the tears that gather in my eyes, needing to focus on getting him home and safe.

"Hurwts Mama." Caspar cries.

"Where does it hurt baby ?" I ask alarmed, fingers running over his scalp for any bumps.

"My leg." He whimpers.

Glancing down at Caspar's mud covered legs I see that one has swelled nearly twice the size of the other.

Sucking in a deep breath I fight to keep my voice calm and steady while the tears trail down my face. "Okay baby, mamas going to get us home and we'll make your leg feel better. I need you to be brave for me, can you do that for mama ?"

"Okay." Caspar holds on tightly to me and buries his head in the crook of my neck.

Standing my head snaps round at the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps, coming from either side of the river.

A lot of them.

Looking over to the Cullen's side of the river and then down at my son I press a kiss to the side of his face, "be brave." I whisper before I shift again, my vision swimming slightly at the physical strain of shifting back and forth.

I feel Caspar's grip tighten in my fur, clinging tighter as my muscles shift beneath him.

Hiding in the shadows I press into the mud, waiting for something to happen.

The running sounds come closer. My eyes narrow as a pale form sprinting down the bank towards us. Multiply more chasing behind the red headed vampire.

Then the strong smell of the pack hits my nose and their absents this evening starts to add up.

They're hunting.

My eyes move rapidly from the redhead and area around us, looking for anything that could slow it's escape, the sounds of the pack coming closer.

 _It's too quick._

One of the Cullen's bursts forward, a hairsbreadth away from grabbing it.

Then the vamp swerves suddenly towards us and leaps.

 _The Cullen's can't follow her onto pack-lands and the packs not close enough to get her when she lands._

Without thinking my body reacts. Shifting Caspar in my arms, I coil down before rising up in a snap and snatching hold of the vamp as it flies across the bank over head, snarling as the beautiful face of the red-headed woman morphs from surprise into a sharp fanged hiss.

Only needing to stall her, I launch her down into the river, her arm breaking of with a sound like grinding stone in my iron grip and the force of the motion. She lands heavily, crying out in pain and frustration ad she rapidly scrambled to her feet.

I quickly press back into the bank as the huge, dark-haired Cullen and a wolf leap at the struggling vamp.

 _They've got her._

The two collide in a clash of claws and teeth. The red-head on her feet and running again as the two quickly regain their footing and square off, hissing and snarling, the familiar dark-silver hackles rising.

 _Paul._

I hear the high pitched whine before I realise that it came from me.

Pauls head snaps around as the other Cullen's try and calm the situation. Shocked glances going from me to the pack and their dark haired coven mate.

Immediately rushing towards me, Paul shifts midstride, brows drawn heavily from the lingering aggression and confusion about my presence at the river.

"Moth ? What the hell are you doing here ? Is that Caspar ?" Paul walks over to me, hands raised as he sees tension in my wolfish form.

"Caspar's here !?" I hear Seth's voice from above me. Glancing up I see a bare chested Seth leaning over the bank, peering down at us. "Cool, Moths wolfed out !" I see the other pack mates peer over and I feel my guard lower at their presence, relaxing my grip on Caspar's shivering body.

"Moth ?" Pauls voice lowers as he reaches forward to run his fingers through my fur. "Are you hurt ?" Hearing the worrying his voice I shift back, feeling exhaustion from the whole evening. I slump into his arms, feeling them tighten comfortingly around me.

"Caspar's hurt." I say, drawing away

"What ?" I hear multiple voices ask.

Paul gathers us into his arms seeing that I'm holding on to my emotions by a thread. "It's alright." He murmurs into my hair.

"Moth ?" Paul snaps around and snarls as Jasper stands a little away from his family looking concerned.

"I mean no harm to your mate, I just heard that the child is injured, Carlisle is a doctor at forks hospital and has a many years of experience. He can help." He gestures towards the pale-haired older man, who smile gently at me.

"Back off leech. We're getting him home and Sue will help him." Paul growls.

"Er, moms on a night shift, she won't be home until morning." Seth says cautiously, moving closer to brush his hand against Caspar's cheek. "Hey little man. You alright ?"

caspar peaks his head out from the crook of my neck at the sound of the young teens voice.

"Hurwts." He mumbles.

"I know Cass. But we're going to get you all cleaned up and make you feel better." He assures, wincing as his eyes move down and take in Caspar's swollen leg. "What were you even doing all the way out here anyway ?"

"Hiding twacks." Caspar's voice is muffled as he presses his face against my neck.

Seths eyes snap up to mine, stricken. I open my mouth to ease the guilty look on his face but I'm suddenly shifted behind Paul as he growls at the older female vampire steps forwards next to Jasper, Carlisle following closely, hand on the females arm.

"Moth. I give you my word that my family will bring no harm to you or your son. You can even bring your mate and the whole pack if that makes you feel better, just let us help the child. He's in pain." Carlisle rubs his hand up the females arm comfortingly at the worry in her voice.

My eyes look down at my son, face a mess of mud and tears, leg swollen painfully, probably bruised and broken under the thick layer of mud. Then I look over to Sam as he watches me closely.

Meeting his eyes I see him nod at the unspoken plea in my gaze.

"Paul, Jared you'll come with me to the Cullen's, the rest of you split up, one group go to my house and stay with Emily and the other go to Moths and let Perry and Markus know that Caspar has been found. Keep an eye on them. We'll keep you updated."

"I'm going with Caspar." Seth says sternly, stubborn set to his face. Sam takes in his rigid posture before he allows him to come along.

"Fine. Seth's with us, everyone else get moving." Sam orders. The pack splits, everyone getting to their tasks, leaving us with the coven.

Carlisle walks towards me cautiously, holding his hands up as he sees me and Paul tense at his proximity. My wolf feeling especially angsty about my decision as the vamp gets closer to my injured toddler.

"Paul, step aside and let him see Caspar." Sam orders.

"One wrong move leech and I'll tear you apart." Paul snarls, baring his teeth as a few members of the coven hiss in reply. Paul steps behind me, hands resting on my waist, his chest pressing against my back, placing a reassuring kiss on the back of my neck, while his eyes keep watch on the rest of the vampire's family. Seth moves closer, standing next to me on the side Caspar was tucked against me.

My eyes widen as the vampire steps even closer.

"May I see ?" He looks down at Caspar, who looked back shyly, from the crook of my neck. Nodding my consend I press my cheek against Caspar's, wincing sympathetically when the vamp carefully touches his leg, earning a yelp from Caspar's and growls from Seth and Paul as they crowd closer.

Carlisle instantly holds up his hands and steps back, frowning at Caspar's leg. "I can't be certain without checking properly and with all that mud covering his leg but I'm pretty sure that his leg is broken." I hear Seth suck in a breath from next to me, Carlisle smiles sadly at the young wolf. "If you bring him to ours we can get him cleaned and warm so I can have a proper look and treat the wound. It'll have to be set if it's broken, which I'm sure you know is t pleasant."

I feel a sob build in my chest for what's in store for Caspar, my eyes not leaving Caspar's scrunched up face, my fingers gently running from his mud crusted hair, down to smooth across his creased brow, leaning down and pressing a kiss against his forehead and then his cheek.

"He's okay baby." Paul murmurs in my ear arms wrapping tightly around me. "The leech can set Caspar's leg then I'll take you straight home, okay ? I won't let anything happen to you or Caspar."

"We'll be right there with you Moth." Sam assures me.

Looking back at the pale haired vampire I nod my head in assent, "Okay."

Carlisle smiles back at the female, who looks relieved before turning back to meet my eyes. "Come this way. When we get to the house you and Caspar can clean up and Alice will get you some clothes so you wil" feel more comfortable while you wait." He starts walking back to his family and the short pixie-haired girl waves cheerfully at me, cursing my eyes to narrow and her to giggle before she follows along with the rest of her family as they lead us to their house.

I hear Paul chuckle in my ear as well, hand brushing against my cheek. I knew that I was blushing from the vamps words, the realisation that I was stark naked turning me beet red, they had obviously made Paul take notice too, if his toothy grin was anything to go by. Bumping into his side with my shoulder grumpily, I follow along, Sam, Jared and Seth ahead of me and Paul sauntering behind me.

I ignored the snickering the whole journey as vamps and wolves alike chuckled at the dark shade my face had taken, seemingly perminantly, making me blush harder and the scowl on my face deepen.

Of course that and the presence of the vampires didn't wipe the smirk of Paul's face as he kept his eyes on my bare ass the whole journey there.


	35. A little heated

**_.35._**

 _~ Baby mine, don't you cry_

 _Baby mine, dry your eyes_  
 _Rest your head close to my heart_  
 _Never to part_  
 _Baby of mine_

 _Little one, when you play_  
 _Don't you mind what they say_  
 _Let those eyes sparkle and shine_  
 _Never a tear_  
 _Baby of mine_

 _From your head to your toes_  
 _You're so sweet, goodness knows_  
 _You are so precious to me_  
 _Cute as can be_  
 _Baby of mine ~_

"Dumbo ?" I hear the quiet voice ask from the doorway. Looking away from Caspar I look over to see Jasper standing just inside the room.

"He watched it at Sam and Emily's a little while ago, been singing it to him since." I whisper, watching from the corner of my eye as he walks further into the room, stopping on the opposite side of the table that my sleeping son was laid out on.

" You look exhausted. Why don't you try and get some sleep too ?" He asks.

"I'll sleep when I get Caspar home. I'm just waiting for Sam to finish his talk with your family then I'll be on my way." My eyes go back to the smooth cheeks of my sleeping toddler. I had washed his face and limbs the best I could with a washcloth and some warm water before Carlisle had set his fracture and proceed to bandage the break in a neon green cast, as per Caspar's choosing.

"My family were quite shocked with the sight of your wolf." Jasper says, voice cautious.

"Is that why they're taking so long in there ?" I nod my head towards the other room.

A small smile pulls up the corner of his lips. " I left as they were finally done talking about it. They're talking about what happened between Paul and Emmet, and what to do now about Victoria."

"Youve been talking about me all this time ? Who's Victoria."

"She was the vampire you relieved of her arm earlier tonight. Can you blame us ? We've never seen anything like you before in all our lives. And some of us have lived very long lives." He rests his hands on the table, my spine straightening and stance widening at his proximity to my sleeping child. "Everyone is fascinated by you. Especially Carlisle."

"I'm not that interesting." I assure him, eyes locked on his hands.

"We feel differently." Jasper states.

An awkward silence settles between us.

"What was that commotion I heard earlier ?" I ask, thinking back to the shouting that had erupted a short while ago, one of the raised voices I was sure had belonged to Paul.

"Paul and Emmett had a disagreement about whose fault it was that Victoria got away and who was on whose territory." A grin light his face, "Emmett's already a fan of yours. While we were asking your pack some questions he kept rambling about how 'badass' you looked when you were standing in our living room covered in mud, your son in one arm and a severed arm in the other. He went on so much Rosalie and Paul got jealous and things got a little heated again." He chuckles.

I sigh in frustration, just wanting to get out of here and go home.

"They shouldn't be too much longer." Jasper says consolingly, before advising, " I think you should talk to Seth after you've all had some rest."

Looking into his amber eyes, I tilt my head questioningly.

" He's feeling a lot of guilt. Especially when he looks at Caspar." He elaborates.

" Silly boy." I murmur Shaking my head.

"You don't seem curious about how I know that." Jasper states curiously.

"Jake explained your abilities to me after the incident when I met your family. It was somewhat reassuring that he read my mind and wasn't part of what the facility were doing, though it does irritate me slightly to know that he can read everything I'm thinking." I shrug.

" It can be frustrateing at times, but it comes in handy a lot too." He smiles.

"I can imagine." My mind automatically flicks through possible strategies around fighting against someone who could read your mind and counter your attacks before you even make a move.

Jaspar's bark of laughter startles me from my thoughts. My eyes narrow, hearing the bitterness in that laugh.

" You know, I don't need Edward's gift to know what just went through your head. I thought about the same things when I first met him. It's what we're conditioned to do." He smiles sadly and we lapse into silence.

Carlisle enters the room, looking between the two of us worriedly, taking in our somber expressions. "Is everything alright ?" He asks, walking over to the table and patting Jaspar on the shoulder as he passes him. "How is our patient ?"

"He's sleeping." Looking over to the blonde vampire I meet his eyes squarely. "Thank you. For helping him. And for the clothes." I gesture to the clothes and trainers I had been given and the t-shirt that Caspar was swamped in.

"You're more than welcome, Moth." He beams at me before his expression changes to the professional one he'd worn while setting Caspar's leg. "I understand that there was and incident between you and Charlie, and that you were shot. Would you like allow me to take a look ? I'd like to see how you've healed and make sure everything's okay."

An uneasy feeling started creeping up my spine at the doctor's request.

I _hated_ examinations.

"No thank you. They've healed fine." I say stiffly, rolling my shoulders to try and ease my tension.

" It would be no trouble, I'm sure that Sue did a marvellous job but it's better to be safe than sorry. A check up wouldn't hurt." He start pulling on some white gloves.

" I'm really fine." I assure.

" It's will be over quick-"

" I said no." My unease makes my voice snappier than I meant it to be.

The room suddenly fills with people.

Caspar's table pushed away from me and towards the doctor and Jasper as the huge dark haired vamp crouching in front his two shocked coven members, the other newcomers crowding around them, and the pack behind me.

The dark haired vamp hisses at me.

A low growl rumbles from my chest in answer, my claws sharpening as I reach forward to wheel the table back towards me so I could lift Caspar into my arms, only to have the huge Vampires hand clamp around my wrist as I grab the table edge.

I snarl this time, my wolf pushing to the surface, showing in my eyes, aching to get out.

" Emmett ! What are you doing, move out of the way." Carlisle pushes forwards, brushing his coven mate aside and pushing Caspar back towards me.

I quickly scoop Caspar up, tucking him against my side, being careful of the stiff cast on his leg, my eyes still locked on the dark haired vampire.

"Easy baby." Paul murmurs in my ear as he draws me close to him. "There's no fight here. Our business is finished now. We're to walk out of here and get you and Caspar home." He presses his forehead against the side of mine, my gaze not shifting, his family watching me just as closely. "Just walk away baby." I feel pressure on my arm as he presses to move me towards the door that lead out of the luxurious room. "Come on Moth. Lets get you and the little man home." My eyes reluctantly leave the vampire as I allow Paul to lead me towards the door. "Thats it baby." His arm slips around my waist.

"Moth I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push." Carlisle calls after me.

Craning my head over my shoulder I eye emmet as he moves to stand next to the stunning blonde woman before I turn my gaze to Carlisle. "It's fine. Thanks again."

The pack closes around me as I'm lead from the house.

* * *

"Caspar !" Perry rushes forward as I enter the house and I allow him to take him from my arms into his own, eyes widenening as he looks down at the neon green cast that overhead his leg from just bellow his knee. "I-I'm So s-s-sorry, Moth."

"Why are you Sorry ?" I rub my eyes tiredly.

"I-I w-wasn't w-w-Watching him-" his eyes started to get watery as he gets himself worked up.

"Perry, it wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault." I turn to look pointedly at Seth, who looks down at the floor.

"B-but- "

"Let's talk about this properly in the morning when we're all nice and rested and we can settle this properly, okay ?" Walking over to Perry I lean up and kiss his cheek, before bending down to kiss Caspar's forehead. "Why don't you take my bed tonight and I'll take the couch. He'll be happy to see his brother first thing in the morning, will give me the chance to have a bit of a lay in." I smile as I push him off towards my bedroom. Perry looks unsurely back at me before walking towards my room.

"Moth." Turning to look at Seth as he calls me I see him shuffling his feet nervously. " I'm sorr-"

"Tomorrow. We'll talk about this in the morning Seth. It's late and it's been a bit of a hectic evening."

Seth watches me for a moment before nodding and asking, "can I stay with him ? I'll sleep on the floor in wolf form, I just want to make sure he's alright, since it's my fault he got hurt."

Scowling at his needless self blame I realise that there's no point arguing with him over this tonight so I simply nod and pass him the two cushions from the back of the couch. "Even wolves need a bit of comfort."

He offers me a small smile then follows the direction of Perry and Caspar.

I release a huge sigh as I sink into the couch, exhausted.

"He's alright ? What did the doctor say ?" Markus asks, standing next to Paul, the others gone of to do their patrols or make their ways to their respective homes.

"He broke his leg and got a few bruises and scapes when he fell down the river bank. He should be all healed up within six to seven weeks." I say, eyes closed.

"You're about to fall asleep. We'll talk more in the morning," Markus leans down and kisses my forehead, exiting the room to go to his own.

"Goodnight." I call after him.

I'm left alone in the room with Paul, who watches me as my head lulls and I fight away my sleepiness, forcing my eyes open and offering him a small smile when I catch him watching me.

I hear him chuckling before he moves towards me and kneels down to start removing the gifted shoes from my feet, setting the aside when they were taken off. He kisses each knee in turn, urging me to lay down on my side and rest my head on the pillow he places against the arm. "Get some sleep, I'll be back in the morning." He presses a warm kiss against my lips.

"Stay." I murmur, curling my arm around his neck and puling him towards me, hearing him groan.

"Moth." His voice is gravely as he resists my urging.

I just shuffle over to make space for him and pat the spot next to me, dragging the throw off the back of the couch and spreading it out, holding up one side for him to slip under.

He hesitates for a long time before he quickly moves to turn the light off then slips his own shoes off and slides in behind me, spooning against my back. "Tell me if you're uncomfortable. I don't want you to freak out." His arm slowly wraps around my waist.

I crack my eyes open as I look over my shoulder at him, "I won't freak out, I know you wouldn't make me do anthing I'm not ready for." I say assuredly, giving him a lingering kiss which he returns, arm tightening around me.

"You're going to kill me." He groans as I pull away and turn back over, snuggling back against him and quickly feeling sleep pulling me under.

"Just go to sleep." I chuckle, threading my fingers through his. "Goodnight Paul." I bring his hand up to my mouth and kiss his knuckles before placing our linked hands back down.

He presses a kiss against the base of my neck before burying his face against my shoulder. "Night Moth."


	36. Morning After

**.36.**

I woke sprawled out over Paul, my cheek resting high on his chest, face close to his neck, body covering his, our legs twined together and his hand holding mine as it rests over his heart, his other under my t-shirt splayed against my back.

I start to shift to the side, so I wouldn't continue to squish him beneath me, but his hand tightens around my waist, keeping me in place.

"Stay, you're fine, you're way to light to hurt me." Paul rumbles against my ear, hand around my waist moving back up under my t-shirt to brush up and down against my back, goosebumps rising across my skin at the ticklish sensation.

"I need to get up, you'll be wanting breakfast won't you ? Since you can't eat while you sleep, you must be starving." I tease, leaning up to look down at him, stroking my hand over his dark brows and down the sides of his face, tracing my fingers across his full lips before bending down to kiss him, pulling away with a chuckle at the loud grumble from his stomach.

"You're gorgeous when you smile at me like that." Paul smiles softly at me, hand running through my hair, tightening his hold as he draws me back down to press our lips together. "I never even thought about what my imprint would look like but I could never of imagined how stunning you are." He murmurs against my lips.

"I never imagined being with anyone like I am with you. I thought I'd live my life alone, with Markus and Caspar. I was happy that I even had them in my life, now I have you, and Perry and the guys. I'm still trying to get used to my new life, but still, I can't imagine life without any of you." My eyes flick over the intense look on his face. "I can't imagine life without you with me." I say quietly, stroking his cheek. Catching my hand in his, he turns his head and kisses my palm, leaning up to press more fully against my lips, giving me a deeper, savouring kiss.

"Oh lord, my eyes." I look up in time to see Markus making a swift turn back the way he came, hands up over his eyes.

"Stop being dramatic." I call after him, rolling my eyes at the old man, giving Paul a lingering kiss the swinging my legs off him and walking to the bathroom.

I quickly do my business, knowing that the house was full of people and they'd want to have their turns. Existing the bathroom I bump into Paul's bare chest, he merely stead us me, rubbing my back and bends down for a quick kiss then walks past me into the bathroom.

Trying to smother the goofy smile on my face, I press my hands agaisnt my burning cheeks as I enter the kitchen, taking some food out of the fridge and some pans from the cupboards, flicking the gas on the stove on and quickly getting to work.

Markus enters the room as I put the bacon into the pan and start mixing the pancake mix. "Nice, what's the occasion ?" He raises his eyes at the large spread of food I'd laid out.

"Thought it might put Caspar in a good mood for the day, he's going to be down since he can't run around and play like he usually does, and Perry and Caspar will probably be mopey when they see his mood, since they feel guilty, for some reason."

"We always feel guilty when someone we care about gets hurt." Markus says, bumping his shoulder into mine and taking over cooking the bacon. "I've got this, go and wake that boy of yours up."

Doing as he says, I make my way down to my bedroom, finding Caspar and Perry still asleep, while Seth in his wolf form lies next to them, watching Caspar's little flyaway hairs over his face flutter with his breaths. "Morning, you can change in the bathroom Seth, Markus is tending to breakfast." Seth licks Caspar's curled palm and pads from the room, tail wagging slightly when I ruffle his fur as he passes me.

I step softly over to the bed, easing my self on it and holding my finger to my lips when Perry jerks awake. "It's okay Perry." I reach over and stroke my fingers through his hair, watching as he relaxes under the contact. "Did he sleep well ?" I ask. Perry sleepily rubs his eyes and nods groggily. "Thank you for looking after him for me, there's breakfast in the kitchen, go and wash you face and get something to eat." Leaning over I plant a kiss on his cheek, hiding my chuckle at the shocked look on his face as he scrambles to do as I told him, staying carefully quiet as he exits the room.

I moved so that I way laying facing Caspar and started gently brushing the hair from his face. "Time to wake up Cass." Caspar's face scrunches up as he cracks his eyes open, face relaxing as he realises it's me in front of him. Reaching forward he wraps his arms around my neck, pressing his cheek against mine.

"Morwning Mama."

"Morning baby. Ready to get up ? Everyone in the kitchen waiting for us, we've made your favourite." I carefully sit up, being mindful of his cast, and stand, making my way out of the room.

"Pancakes ?" He asks, eyes sparkling, hopefully.

"Mhmm, And since you've been so brave lately I'll let you have as many as you like."

"Weally ?"

"Really. Let's just get you cleaned up then you can stuff your face to your hearts content."

... ... ...

cleaning up had taken longer than Cass would have liked.

He whined and fidgeted as I took my time helping him wash, being cautious to make sure his cast would stay dry.

By the time we made it to the kitchen everything was sat out on the table and everyone sat waiting.

Sitting in the chair between Paul and Seth, I sit Caspar on my lap and let him reach forward to pile his plate high, reaching forward to help him pull a dish closer that was out of his reach, the guys around us chatting and filling their own plates.

"Where's your plate ?" Paul asks next to me.

"My generous son is going to share his with me." I smile, ruffling Caspar's hair who gleefully holds up his fork full of pancake, sticking my tongue out at Paul, who mearley leans forward, planted a kiss on my lips then went back to eating.

Markus fake gags and scrunches his nose down at his food, quickly giving up his teasing when I shoot him a sharp glare.

After everyone had finished I could tell Caspar was restless, wanting to start playing, while Seth and Perry were moping, still feeling guilty about what had happened.

"Markus, can you help Caspar get changed please, it's lovely outside so I thought we could spend the morning in the garden." Markus agrees, taking caspar from my arms as Caspar chatted excitedly about us all spending the morning together.

Waiting for them to leave the room I sigh heavily before looking between Seth and Perry, placeing my hand over Paul's as he rests his on my thigh, supportively.

"I'm going to tell you two again, none of what happened yesterday was your fault. It was no one's fault."

"But-" Perry starts.

"No buts. It wasn't your fault that he ran off Perry and it wasn't your fault that he tried to hide at the river, Seth." I eye the two pointedly.

"But if I hadn't said anything to him he wouldn't have run off to find water." Seth announces stubbornly.

I rake my free hand through my hair frustratedly. "Accidents happen when you're looking after children, and things you say to them can come back and bite you in the ass. You think I haven't had situations like this ?"

"You've had incidents where he could have could have died looking for a river because of what you said ?" Seth asks, frown on his face.

"Betas, not rivers. There weren't any rivers in the facility."

Seth goes quiet, and Perry stiffens from across the table.

"When He was younger and starting to explore, He was terrified of the Betas, he'd cry and scream and that would rile them up and trigger instincts better left dormant. The smell of his fear would set them off and for a while I was getting into fights nearly everyday and that put him in danger." Paul's hand squeezes my thigh, loosening slightly when I smile reassuringly at him. "So I explained to him that they're just like us, they live here like us, are watched like us, are wolves like us and that hne he gets upset they get upset and treat he didn't need to be scared because I'd always be there for him. The next day he didn't cry and he seemed to get better and better each day, then the next thing I know, he's waddling up to one of the Betas holding out a ham sandwich. Needless to say I nearly had a heart attack and luckily the Beta just snatched the sandwich out of his hand and ran off, Cass had a few scratches from the Betas claws and was a little shaken but he's fine and he learned to be more cautious, and he'll learn this time too." I look between the two. "You can't beat yourselves up over this, you just need to learn and help him learn and support him when he needs it. Like today, he's going to be pretty cranky when he realises that he can't run around with you two for a while, so be ready and be there for him." Reaching forward I take each of their hands in mine, squeezing them slightly before letting go and sitting back.

"How long will he have the cast on ?" Seth asks.

"Six weeks, give or take. He'll probably be fine for the most part, but his patience won't last long, he's going to be bored and grumpy and he'll be lonely because he can't run around with everyone. We can only be there to ease his boredom and reassure him, he'll be healed and back on his feet in no time." I smile at the two.

"I'll be there for him." Perry says quietly but firmly from across the table, eyes set with determination. "I won't let him be sad."

"We're all going to do our best, so don't stress over this, he's fine, just be a little careful of his cast, otherwise things go on as usual." The two nod their heads. "Right, shall we head outside then, we've got a toddler to entertain."

... ... ...

"Cass, since you've got the Neon Cast of Power, you're in charge and you get to choose the game." Seth bounces excitedly, his earlier down trodden mood completely absent from his face, his usual cheerfulness in its place.

We were sat and laid out over a spread of plankets we had brought out with us, a bowl of the leftover berries and the Cyrus and yogurt sat in the middle, being steadily devoured.

"Wolf !" Caspar shouts immediately.

"you want to play wolf ?" Seth asks, confused.

"You, Pewwy and Paul against me and mama." Caspar explains.

You just play games agaisnt each other as wolves, well I was a wolf." I elaborate before I quieten my voice, "If the Betas where riled up and fighting between each other a lot or starting to circle or get too close to Caspar I would shift to warn them off. They usually wouldn't come near me when I was a wolf and if they did I was ready to quickly sort them out." Turning back to Caspar I smile apologetically at him. "Sorry baby, I can't stay in wolf around here, I'm a bit scary."

"Mama not scarwy." Caspar says, a frown on his face as he takes hold of a lock of my hair.

"No lets play it ! It will be fine ! I'll change and tell the guys on patrol to warn us if they hear or see anyone that looks like their on their way here, it's not like you really know anyone outside the pack." Seth assures me, eager to play the game Caspar wants.

"I don't know." I say unsurely.

"it will be fine babe, let's just play the game with the little guy." Paul says from next to me, getting to his feet. "We'll be sure to pay attention to sounds around us while we play."

"What about Perry? He hasn't seen my wolf."

"I'll be okay. Caspar has told me about you, and I know that you won't hurt me." Perry pipes up from next to Caspar.

"please mama, just for a little while." Caspar pleads, batting those large green eyes.

"Fine, But just one game." I concede, rising to my feet and lifting Caspar. Walking over to the middle of the area, I turn to look at the guys, who stood waiting for a rundown of the rules. "This ones simple, you just have to get to Caspar." I place Caspar down, rolling my shoulders and starting to stretch out my muscles.

"Thats it ?" Paul asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You think she's going to make it easy for you ?" Markus asks, laughing loudly at the look he gets from Seth don Paul.

"This is going to be over quickly, maybe we should agree to three games." Paul smirks at me

Flashing my teeth at him in a sharp grin I swiftly shift, rising up on my hind legs to my full height, mimicking my stance as a human by cocking one hip, crossing my arms and tapping my foot, my head tilting slightly.

 _I'm waiting._

Paul snorts at my pose.

Behind me Caspar giggles gleefully at the sight of my wolf, Perry watches me wide-eyed, just taking me in and Seth beams at me, before running off into the trees to strip and shift, Paul following at a more sedate pace, after giving me a cocky look.

I drop my clawed front hands to the floor and circle around Caspar, nuzzling his cheek with my snout affectionately.

Two wolves emerge from the forest, each circling round in opposite directions, stopping still on either side of me and crouching down ready to spring. Paul's dark form on my left, The lighter Seth on my right and Perry directly in front of me.

mirroring their posture, I crouch low, anticipation burning through my body.

 _Let the game begin._


	37. Praise

**.37.**

I prowl around my giggling toddler, watching the panting wolves closely as they shakily rise to their feet, huffing at the effort it took. I felt mild surprise that they wanted to keep going after their numerous failed attempts, each of their tries going from smooth, carefully planned manoeuvres to sloppy ambushes, trying to overpower me with their superior numbers and combined strength. Some of their first tries almost worked a few times, not that I'd tell them that, too bad they got frustrated and just threw themselves at me, hoping at least one of them would break past me while I was busy with the other two.

"Just give up! I can see your legs trembling from here." Shouts Markus from his spot gently rocking on the porch swing.

The wolves grumble and shake their heads, eyes narrowing as I playfully canter closer to Caspar, nudging his cheek with my own and swiping my tongue across his nose, chuffing as he giggles and clings to my fur, snuggling his face close to mine. Frowning when I hear his belly rumbling, I cast my eyes up and start a little at how high the sun sat in the sky, we must have played longer than I thought.

Deciding to end the game, I carefully dislodge myself from Caspar's clinging grasp and quickly rush towards the shocked wolves, Seth and Perry, backing up a step at my sudden attack.

I make quick work of downing the unaturally lean, thin-haired, upright wolf that was Perry, pressing my nose to his throat to show I won, feeling him go limp beneath me in surrender, before dodging Seth as he pounces at me, twisting my self around to get out of the way, pinning the light brown wolf. Seth yipped excitedly and snapped his teeth to grab hold of my fur, tugging to try and move me from him, his tooth accidentally catching my lip in his efforts. I growl playfully and use my mouth to hold his neck, being careful not to add anymore pressure as to pierce his skin.

Seth stills and I hear the creeping steps of the remaining wolf behind me.

I allow Paul to tackle me, using our momentum to roll us so that I land on top, pushing him firmly down to the ground and holding him there. He tried to struggle out of the pin but I mearly hold him still, a wolffish grin coming to my face as he glares at me before going lax beneath me in defeat.

Practically puring I lean down and rub my cheek against his with mine to sooth his wounded ego.

"Alright kids lets go inside, everyone's got to be hungry by now, I'm cooking." Markus calls from the porch. Perry, still in his more wolfish form, picks Caspar up, cradling him comfortably in his long arms, rocking him with his motion, making the toddler giggle softly. Seth quickly picks his shorts up in his jaws then trots into the house after the others, leaving Paul and I alone on the grass.

Paul shifts beneath me, grinning up at me. "You know, I never knew I'd find it so hot to be tossed around by my girl." He leers at me, knowing that if I was in my human form I'd be blushing up to the tips of my ears from his words. Grumbling at the smirking man I suddenly get an idea to wipe the smugness from his face. I draw away from him with a huff as he laughs and rises to his feet, grabbing his denim cut-offs and quickly slipping them on. Just as he buttons them up I lunge forward and grab him, hauling him up over my shoulder and rising on my legs to my full height, causing him to startle with a shout.

"Moth! Put me down." He tries to wriggle out of my hold so I tease him by loosening my grip and letting fall slightly over my shoulder, the same way I'd tease Caspar when I played with him like this. "Woah! Careful! Don't drop me!" Chuckling I saunter into the house with him grumbling and clinging to me the whole way.

* * *

"Ouch!" Perry hisses as I press the bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel against the bump on his head.

"Sorry. I went overboard." I apologise, rubbing circles against his back.

"It's o-okay, w-we all got a little t-too into the game, It'll be g-gone in a few h-h-hours. H-How's your l-lip?" Perry looks up at me, takinging hold of the icy package, keeping it presses to his forehead as I move away from him.

"Just a cut, nothing major." I shrug, swiping my tongue across small split in my lower lip.

"Sorry about that Moth." Seth calls from across the table as I take a seat between Caspar and Paul, who immediately rests his hand on my thigh. "You have to teach me that pin! I couldn't even budge and inch!" Seth says excitedly.

"I'll show you another time." I promise.

"And the way you got Perry off your back and blocked Paul was crazy, it was like a movie fight!" Seth carried on, causing me to fidget uncomfortably under his bright eyed praise. "And you're strong, you didn't even seem to feel any strain from Paul's bulk."

"I'm going to get you back for that." Paul murmurs in my ear, kissing my neck over my quickening pulse as my face heats up in embarrassment.

Glaring at the smug expression on his face I nudge his shoulder with mine.

"How come you aren't healing though Perry?" Seth turns to look at the Beta, who looks away from where he was looking at the picture Caspar was showing him from one of his books.

Perry merely shrugs. "It's how I-I was m-made."

"It's a trait of the facility wolves. They're never quite right." Markus says nonchalantly from his seat at the end of the table, wincing when he realises how that sounds. "I mean, they are never unaffected by how they are made. Like the Betas that have mental disabilities and illnesses, some look inhuman, some have physical dissabilities and some can't heal. Moths the closest they have gotten to their ideal but she's not perfect. That's what Cass was for."

"So Perry can't heal like us?" Seth asks.

"Not as fast as you. Faster than humans and faster than me. I'm one of the slowest healers, still faster than humans but far from what they wanted. That's why they trained me so hard, I have to minimalise injuries as much as possible." I explain. "There'll be no sign of the bump by morning and he wouldn't scar if he was cut." Paul's thumb brushes against the mark on my thigh at the mention of scars and picks my hand up with his other, kissing my knuckles and turning it over to kiss the scars on my wrist.

"Enough of that please." Markus scold from across the table.

Paul sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on my lips before he leans back, cocking an eyebrow at Markus who grunts and shakes his head.

"Are you free tonight?" I ask Paul. "I'm taking Perry and Caspar to stargaze. Perry got a book from Sue about astronomy so I though we could take a look."

"I can't tonight, got some stuff I need to do. You shouldn't go tonight anyway, it's going to be cloudy, you won't see anything." Paul say, eyes averting from mine.

"Oh. Okay, another time then." Watching the evasive look in his eyes, I start feeling suspicious. "What have you got to do? I can help if you want."

"No thanks babe, it's just some pack stuff." He shrugs, dropping my hand to pick up his glass and take a drink.

"If you're sure."

"Don't worry Moth, we're just training. Hey you should come too! I bet you'd be a real help for the up coming batt-"

"Shut up Seth." Paul growls interrupting the younger teen.

"What? what did I say?"

"Just shut up. She's not coming." Paul grits out.

"But she could teach us loads of things! She beat all three of us like we were nothing. She can help!" Seth argues, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"She's not coming tonight." Paul repeats.

"Whats going on?" Markus asks, looking from my confused frown to the glaring pack mates..

"Nothing." Paul growls, getting up and grabbing Seth's arm dragging him with him as he walks towards the door.

"Wait, why are you leaving? What's wrong?" I get up and follow them.

Paul sighs and turns back, pushing Seth out of the door before he bends and quickly kisses me. "Nothings wrong, we just have pack stuff to deal with, I'll speak to you tomorrow. Don't go out tonight." He kisses me one more time then turns and leaves, shutting the door heavily behind him.

Dazed, I turn to look at Markus who looks just as confused as I am.

"What just happened?"


	38. Confusion

**.38.**

I haven't seen Paul since his sudden departure three days ago. I asked the guys where he was or why he wasn't coming over, only to be met with vague excuses that he was tired or busy.

They were keeping something from me.

 _Paul_ was keeping something from me and that troubled me. He said there were no secrets between imprints.

"Moth? Is everything alright?" Emily asks, brows drawn in concern. "You've been staring at your drink for the last ten minutes."

Looking away from my cold cup of tea, I look over at Emily as she walks towards me, away from the boys sat at her small kitchen table, carefully decorating the biscuits Emily had helped them make. Leah sat opposite them making Perry squirm nervously under her hard stare.

"Im fine." I smile.

Emily comes and stands next to me, resting her hand on my arm, a comforting look on her face and warmth in her eyes. "You can tell me Moth."

My eyes look from hers to the small group at the table as I lean closer, keeping my voice low, though knowing that it was only Caspar that wouldn't be able to hear me. "Paul's avoiding me."

"What?" Emily says loudly, causing everyone to stop and look up at us in surprise, her eyes widen and she slaps her hand over her mouth. "Sorry." She mumbles embarrassed. Quickly turning back to the small group, she moves the cookies from the tray to a large plate, picking it up and gesturing for Perry to pick Caspar up and follow her into the lounge. "Since you've done such a good job decorating these you get to eat the best ones before the boys get back. I've borrowed a movie I think you'll like from my sister why don't you two watch it Why we clean up in here?"

"Yay movie!" Caspar beams his pleasure, looking up at his brother with a wide smile. "Pewwy can choose his cookie firwst." Perry smiles down at his brother as they leave the room.

Emily settles them on the couch and puts the movie on for them. Re-entering the kitchen she quickly clears the table and guide me to sit down, taking a seat next to me, Leah opposite. "Now. Tell me what's going on."

"I don't know. He was fine then he just rushed out the other day and I haven't spoken to him since." I shrug uneasily.

"He's probably just tired from all the training they've been doing lately." Emily says

"It can't just be the training, I've been to pack training with him before. I haven't even heard from him."

"He's probably with one of his fuck buddies." Leah chimes in blandly.

"Leah!" Emily's eyes widen, shocked, at the severe looking woman.

"What? Look everyone knows you guys haven't had sex yet." My face starts to burn at her words, the table creaking under the pressure of my hands as they clench around the edge of the table. "Paul can't go two days without a fuck, he's a man whore for god sake."

"He's with Moth Leah, watch what you say." Emily's voice is firm with her distaste to her cousin's harsh words.

"Well I case you've forgotten, Paul never wanted an imprint. He hates the whole thing as much as I do."

"That was before he imprinted. He adores Moth, and you know that." Emily turns to me. "Ignore Leah Moth, Paul's crazy about you, he'd never do anything to hurt you." She says adamantly.

"He told you? About us not having..." my voice trails off.

"He told everyone." She shrugs.

I stand from the table.

"Moth." Emily searches my face, concerned.

"Can you watch the boys for me please? I need to speak to Paul. I won't be long."

"Of course. Take as long as you need." Emily follows me to the door. "I know this is just all a misunderstanding. You'll have it sorted in no time." She assures.

"I hope so." I reply softly, walking out of the house, stopping and turning with a sudden realisation. "Do you know where he lives?"

* * *

Paul's house was larger than Sam and Emily's place.

Made from dark wood with a small, wraparound porch, it seemed to blend with the forest around it, apart from the two cars parked out front. The sleek, modern exterior of the lager car looking out of place next to Paul's old banger and the slightly worn look of the house.

I wondered if that was Paul's mom's new car. Paul had told me he was going to buy her a secondhand one so she could stop borrowing his for work and he'd be able to use it more, though this monster looked to be in much better condition than I was imagining, the previous owner must have taken great care of it.

Walking up to the house I step up the small porch step and cross the short distance to the door, knocking gently on the solid wood, hoping that it was too quiet for his mom to hear.

I sigh in defeat when footsteps too light to be Paul's move towards me from inside.

Straightening my posture, I paste on my best smile and try to neaten my unruly curls, readying myself for my first meeting with my imprint's mother.

The door swings open.

"Hello Mrs. La-" My words stick in my throat as Monica's eyes meet mine, her smile dropping off her face, eyes narrowing as she looks down at me.

We stare at each other for a long moment, me frozen on the porch and her glaring at me from the doorway, in just her bra and panties.

A thick knot of dread settles in my stomach.

"Oh it's you." She trails her eyes up and down me, looking unimpressed by what she sees. "What do you want? We're busy." I'm speakless for a few seconds, unsure about how I'm suppose to react as I stare at the taller girl. "Well?" She says impatiently, glancing behind her.

"Is- is Paul in?" I try and peer around her for any glimpse of him, not even sure I wanted to see him right now. With her in his house like this, what sort of state would he be in?

"He's busy right now. She says, drawing the door close to her side, so her body blocked my view into the house. "I can take a message though, if it's urgent?" She tries to smiles sweetly at me, but the smugness in her eyes gives her away.

"Monica, what's taking so long? Let's hurry up and get this over with, I've got somewhere to be." Paul's voice calls from somewhere within the house.

The knot in my stomach tightens painfully.

"Coming! Look we're busy so if you could just say what you need to say and go, I hate to keep him waiting." She purrs, Looking very pleased with herself.

Feeling bile rise in my throat, I shake my head. "No. I have nothing to say. Sorry to-" I swallow thickly, "interrupt." Spinning around, I run back into the forest.

Sprinting through the trees, I run blindly, not caring about the branches that whip at me, or if I trip, I just needed to get home. I couldn't go to Emily's, I couldn't face the emotion in her deep, symapathetic eyes or the smugness that will be in Leah's.

Making short time of the trip, I rush straight up my porch and into the house, moving quickly through the house, searching for the person I needed the most right now.

Finding Markus sat on the back porch swing with a paper in his hands I fling myself into his shocked arms, curling myself tightly around him and burying my face against his shoulder, heaving shaky breaths.

After a shocked pause, Markus wraps his arms around me and starts rocking slightly, brushing my hair back, trying to get a look at me. "What's wrong? Sweetheart, what happened? You're shaking like a leaf!"

I skake my head against him and tighten my arms, not wanting to talk about it, not even certain what _it_ was.

I couldn't wrap my head around what had just happened. Things between me and Paul where fine, they were _amazing,_ apart from his sudden avoidance, but still, even that was baffling to me. Before these past few days I saw Paul nearly everyday, he would even come round to the house and tell me he wouldn't be able to see me today, wich made me smile and assure him that he didn't need to come and tell me in person. What was I supposed to think about this? He had made a point to reassure me that he was okay that I wasn't ready for sex, that it didn't matter and just being with me was enough for him, and I believed him, but this? Maybe he got tired of waiting.

"Moth, Tell me what's wrong." Markus says, holding me against him.

I just shake my head, pressing my face more firmly against his shoulder, trying to smother the tears gathering in my eyes.

"Is something wrong with the boys?"

Drawing away from the older man at the mention of my boys, I hastily rub my eyes with my sleeve. "No the boys are fine. I need to go and pick them up from Emily's, I told her I wouldn't be long." I say, standing from the swing seat.

"No you stay here and calm down, I'll call one of the guys and get them to drop them off. Why don't you go have a lie down? You look white as a ghost, Well whiter than usual." He smiles wryly, trying unsuccessfully to coax a smile from me. He stands and follows me as I enter the house.

"I've got to put dinner on." I say, starting to fuss around the kitchen, but not really doing anything productive.

Markus intercepts me. "No, I can sort dinner. I'm sure one of the guys could help keep the boys occupied while I cook, you just go and rest. If I need anything I'll come and get you, I promise."

Eyes flicking over the worry on his face, I nod in agreement. "Okay, but wake me up in a couple of hours, please."

"Will do. I'll have a nice hotchocolate ready for you when you wake up. Then we can talk."

Giving him a small smile, I give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Markus."

Leaving the kitchen I head to my room, barely pausing to kick my shoes off before I flop down into the bed, caccooning the duvet around me so that only the top of my head was visible.

Curling up inside the warm bundle I allow the tears to fall.

Confusion swirled inside me.

Everything Paul had said to me battled with the image of Monica lounging against the doorframe in her underwear in my mind. Everything in me wanted to believe that he would never do something like this to me, that he'd never hurt me like this.

But there was another part of me, a part I could never fully be rid of, that knew things were too good to be true. A part of me whispered that it was selfish to deny him something I was unready, maybe unwilling to give. That told me I should have expected this.

Not wanting to think anymore and wanting to be rid of the negativity in my mind I let sleep drag me under, ready to savour the few moments I wouldn't feel this lead weight in my chest anymore.

Just a few moments before I would have to confront the thoughts whirling through my mind.


	39. Guilt

**.39.**

 **Paul POV:**

I felt close to losing it.

Late night practices with the leeches so that we'd be ready for another mess created by Bella and her lover boy, mixed with having to deal with Leah's bitterness in my head at having to spend so much time around Sam and the fact that it had now been five days since I had seen my imprint left me a hairsbreadth away from snapping and just pummelling the next person to say anything to annoy me.

Seth was a high contender to be the one on the receiving end of my temper.

The young wolf was just so cheerful and positive, constantly going on about my imprint, which made me feel jealous and just made me feel the ache at her absence even more acutely.

Not that it wasn't my own fault I was feeling like this.

Avoiding her was a fucking stupid idea, I know, but it was the only way I could think of that would keep her safe, away from this mess. If I saw her I'd tell her everything and knowing her she'd march straight out onto the frontline of the battle and fight alongside me. I knew that was something that some members of the pack and the leeches thought was a good idea, since Moth was basically a genetically modified war machine, that could probably defeat the army on her own, with her strong sense of protectiveness for the people she cares about driving her through leech after leech, until there was nothing left, and she had burned herself out.

But I was never going to let that happen.

Since we had imprinted she had already been injured way too much, her nature carelessly pushing her forward to protect her child with no thought to her own well being, and that was a failure on my part, something she would deny, but that was how I felt. She was my imprint and it was my job to support her and keep her safe.

"Foods here!" Seth calls excitedly.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I look up to see Emily walking towards the group, Sam next to her, with a huge basket full of food for the pack, to keep our energy up during our sessions. Greeting everyone I see her cast her eyes around until they settle on me. "Paul. Can I speak to you for a second?"

"Sure." I shrug, curious about what she wants and hoping she would tell him how Moth was doing.

I follow Emily as she walk a small distance from the group as they dive into the hoard of food she had brought. She turns to me as she reaches the shade of the trees, voice low and urgent. "What did you say to Moth?"

"What? I haven't spoken to Moth." I say, confused by the unexpected question.

"You must have said something." She insists. "She hasn't been herself since she came to see you the other day."

"I haven't seen Moth in almost a week." I say adamantly, feeling the loss of her presence as I say it, and worry that she hasn't been acting right. "What's wrong with her? Is she alright? Is she hurt?"

"She misses you and she doesn't understand why you've suddenly disappeared." She says giving me an accusatory glare. "But I don't understand. She was telling us about how you've dissapeared then she asked me to watch the boys to go and speak to you. You can even ask Leah, she was there."

Frowning I try and think back over the last few days. I hadn't seen anyone apart from my mom, the pack and the elders since we'd started these training sessions, well apart from the day I had kicked Monica out after she-

I feel ice start to creep up my spine. "What day was this?" I ask, voice quiet, tensing coiling in my gut.

"About two days ago I think. Why?"

"Fuck!" I shout slamming my fist into the trunk of the nearest tree, startling Emily as splinters and bark scatter around us. Sam is immediately by her side and moving her away, keeping his eyes firmly set on my trembling body. Ignoring him I look at Emily, who looks worriedly between Sam and I. "Did she say anything when she got back?"

"She didn't come back to mine, she went straight home, Markus said she was pretty upset. She hasn't been speaking much these last few days so I thought you'd definitely said something stupid." Emily says. "Billy and Jake dropped the boys off, she was sleeping when they got there so they didn't get to speak to her."

"Fucking Monica." I growl, turning on the spot and marching away from the group, away from the clearing.

"Where the hell are you going?" Sam calls after me.

"To see my imprint."

* * *

Luckily for me, Moth walked out the back door of her house just as I arrived, full trash bag in her hand as she walked down the three steps and turned just off to the side where the trash can was kept hidden from view.

I felt a pang of need and guilt hit me in the chest at the sight of her. The usual luminous, pearlessence of her skin was dull and there were dark smudges beneath her large, mismatched eyes.

She looked weary, and I knew that I was the cause of it.

In my attempts to protect her from this mess I had just ended up hurting her, but I was going to make this right.

"Moth." I call softly as I step out of the tree line, wincing slightly as she jerks and tenses, slowly turning to face me. Keeping my movements slow and deliberate I started to move towards her, hands slightly raised to show I meant peace, not knowing how she would react after what had happened and these past five days.

"Paul." She breaths softly as she takes a step towards me, the musical lilt to her voice easing the tight knot in my chest that had been building these past five days. She soften as she looks at me, the mesmerising contrast of her eyes not failing to tie me up in knots. She quickly closes the distance between us, leaning up on her toes to wrap her arms around me.

"Hey baby." I murmur into her hair as I bury my face against her neck, breathing the faint smell of jasmine she always seemed to emit. Holding her close for a moment, surprised she was acting so warmly with me after what I was strongly suspecting she had seen, I give her one last squeeze before drawing away, needing to clear the air.

She looked confused as I reached up and unhooked her arms from around my neck, eyes flicking between mine trying to read the serious expression on my face.

Holding onto her wrists I take a deep breath before releasing it in a heavy sigh. "We need to talk Moth."

Her whole body goes rigid and her eyes widen. Tugging her arms from my grip she takes a step back and wraps her arms around herself. "About what?" She asks quietly, eyes moving from mine and dropping to the floor.

Stepping forward I grasp her chin and tilt her gaze back up to mine. "You know what." I say softly. She shakes her head jerkily, eyes watching mine, looking almost desperate. "About what happened with Monica." I say, voice firm, needing to be open with her.

She seems to freeze for a long moment before, to my horror, she seems to wilt, her shoulders hunching and her hands coming up to cover her face as she bursts into tears.

"I don't want to break up." She sobs into her hands.

 _Wait? What?_


	40. Explanations

**.40.**

"I don't want to break up." I sob into my hands, feeling as though a piece of my new life was starting to crumble beneath my feet, and I hated it. I never wanted to feel helpless like this again.

"What? Break up? What are you talking about Moth?" Paul asks, steeping towards me and taking hold of my arms.

I duck my head as he tries to peer at my face, covering my eyes more with my hands, trying to smother the tears that wouldn't stop leaking from my eyes.

"Look at me Moth." He says, urgency in his voice. "Look at me." He tugs my hands from my face and tilts my head up, panic in his eyes as he looks into my watery ones. "I'm not leaving you. I'm never leaving you. You're mine as much as I am yours. You're it for me, I've told you that. You need to believe me on that. You need to have more confidence in us." He strokes his thumb across my wet cheek, eyes soft. "In yourself. I'm so crazy about you, how could I leave you?" He drops his forehead to mine, and my eyes close at the contact, his hands flaming my face.

Placing my hands over his, I savour the closeness. "What about Monica?" I ask quietly, squeezing my eyes closed when I feel him tense up and growl lowly.

"I should of never invited her round. I was trying to be a nice guy."

Feeling as though I had just been doused in ice water, I step back. "So she was in your house in her underwear because you were trying to be nice?"

"She called me and asked if she could pick up this jacket or whatever that she'd left at mine from when we used to mess around, so I said she could come round and take a look." He looked up at me hesitantly as he mentioned their past together. "I've been thinking about how she acted towards you and what you said about her maybe thinking we had something between us and I was going to clear the air. But then she was acting all weird and shifty, asked to use the bathroom and come out and practically threw herself at me. I pushed her away and asked her what the fuck she was doing. I tried to be nice but she's crazy, so I kicked her out and left. I didn't sleep with her Moth, I haven't even seen her since then."

I mull over what he was telling me, mind trying to reconcile his side of the story with mine, and my hurt.

"How did your know she'd taken her clothes off anyway? Emily said you'd come to see me, but I thought you probably saw her car or something and left."

"I thought it was your mom's car. I was expecting her to open the door, but it was Monica and she was basically naked, then I heard you call her. I just left."

"Why didn't you storm in and demand to know what the fuck was going on?" Paul asks, anger radiating through his voice.

I shrug my shoulder, rubbing my arm at the chill that had settled in my bones.

"No Moth, I'm guessing you Thought I called her round to have sex with her." He says bluntly.

"I didn't know what to think. I still don't." I reply, looking down at my feet.

"So why didn't you confront me? I didn't even know you had been there until Emily told me about ten minutes ago. Why did you just leave?"

"I didn't know how to react. I needed to clear my head." I say, uneasy under his scrutinising gaze.

"This is about the sex thing again, isn't it?"

"It's not just about that." I say. "You make it sound so trivial."

"Because it is! I've told you I could wait until you're ready Moth, I don't know what I need to do to make you believe me."

"What if I'm never ready?" I challenge.

"That's not going to happen." Paul scoffs, causing me to frown.

"I'm serious Paul. Just the thought of anyone touching me like that again-" I pause as he growls at the mention of my past, "makes my skin crawl."

"Im not anyone though. I'm your imprint." It's me that scoffs this time as Paul shakes his head and steps back up to me. "You'll be ready one day Moth, I'm not worried. The way you reacted to me, to being close to me, even before you knew about the imprint and the way you lean into my touch, prove to me that one day, you'll give me that part of yourself. You've given me so much already baby, I'm happy. I can wait." He looks directly into my eyes as he assures me, large hands holding my shoulders. "So if it's not just about the sex, what else is it?"

"I was scared." I whisper, wiping the tears that start to brim in my eyes again away frustratedly. "You've been avoiding me, and then that happens." I shake my head. "I'm not use to this Paul. I'm not used to needing someone like this and you just disappeared, out of nowhere, no warning or any reason I could think of. Then after the conversation at Emily's, I found out how much you hated the idea of _having_ to be with me, and then she was there, someone you'd chosen."

"I hated the idea of it, but it's different now It's a real and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm scared too, Moth. I'm scared that I can't keep you safe, that I can't be a good father figure for Caspar, that I'm not good enough for you. You've been out in the world less that half a year, you haven't had a chance to see the world, to experience it, but by being with me I've bound you to this place. I can't leave, but what if you want to one day?"

"Why would I leave? This place has been been my dream ever since Markus told me about it. It's everything I wanted, for me and Caspar. And now that I've got everyone? I couldn't leave. I'm happy here. I'm happy with you. And I though you were happy too, then you started avoiding me."

"I was happy, _am,_ happy with you. Avoiding you had nothing to do with us." He says, and agitated look coming over his face as he rakes his hand through his short hair. "I've been trying to keep you safe."

"Safe from what?" I ask.

Paul hesitates for a long moment, watching me closely before releasing a heavy sigh and dropping his gaze to the ground.

"There's an army of new born Vampires coming here to kill Bella."

I felt like all the air was sucked out of my lungs, adrenaline immediately started to rush through my body.

"We've been meeting with the Cullen's to train. That's why we've all been so busy lately." He continues before he looks back up at me. "Moth?" Paul stepped towards me, concern on his face. "Baby?" His hands frame my face and he pushes me back until the back of my legs touch the porch and he coaches me to sit down, dropping to his knees in front of me. "I'm sorry. Just take a deep breath."

"Why?" I ask, eyes wild as my body shakes with the adreniline. "How did this happen? Why did you hide this from me? This affects me too."

"I know." He sighs. "I'm sorry. I just-" he huffs in fraustration. "You've been hurt too much, Caspar nearly got hurt when we were chasing her the other night. I didn't want you to get tangled up in Bella's mess."

"So you were just going to ignore me until this was over then come back and act like nothing had happened?"

"No! I don't know, Okay? I didn't think further than keeping you off the battlefield. I'm an idiot."

"Yes, you are." I grit out, watching as he winces and withdraws his hands from me. "A big, overprotective idiot." I growl wrapping my arms around his neck and drawing him to me, kissing him firmly. "I've missed you. You shouldn't have hidden this from me." I say between kisses, feeling the heavy weight in my chest from his absence lift as he wraps his arms around my wait and holds me firmly as he returns the kisses.

"I know. I'm sorry. I've missed you too, I was close to loosing it today. I knew I was just being stupid, I just didn't know how else to keep you out of it." He answers as he draws back, hands moving up to cup my face, placing soft lingering kisses on my lips before pulling away then leaning back into me again, and giving me more searing kisses.

"Don't do this again. If something's going on talk to me, don't hide things. I don't want there to be secrets between us." I murmur as I pull away, burying my face against his neck, arms wrapped securely around him.

"I won't, I promise. I don't think I could be away from you for that long again, it drove me crazy." He rewraps his arms around my waist and hold me tightly, one hand rubbing gently up and down my back.

"I want to help." I say quietly, knowing that he would be unhappy with the idea.

He body goes ridged against mine.

"No." He growls.

"Paul, I was pratically made to fight. I can help you." I urge.

"No." He holds up a hand when I immediately open my mouth to ague befor going on. "Anyway, some of the Cullen's think that the Vultori are involved so there's no way you are getting involved." He says firmly.

I freeze at the mention of the Voluturi, knowing that he was right, but I couldn't just do nothing when they were going to be putting themselves in danger.

"Then let me train you." He looks down at me surprised by my outburst, frown on his face as he thinks over the idea. "I won't go anywhere near the battlefield, just let me train you. I'm not good at normal stuff but fighting is something I can do. I want you safe just as much as you want me safe, and the others too. Let me help you with this, please." I practically beg, looking up into his eyes imploringly.

Paul groans. "Don't give me that look." Bending down, he kisses me softly, looking deep into my eyes as he draws back then sighs heavily. "Fine. But you aren't going to be fighting."

"Just during training. You've got to learn." I smile as he gives me a withering glare.

"I fight just fine thanks. But you can teach the others. The leeches haven't seen your wolf in action yet, right?" He asks, sudden smug smirk growing on his face. I nod my head in answer, looking up at him questioningly. "Oh I'm gonna get a camera ready. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces."


	41. Training

**.41.**

 _Why the hell did I suggest this?_

I berate myself as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, pulling my hair back tightly in a French Plait, securing the end before tucking it to the side, so it draped over my shoulder, then shrugging on my light jacket.

I should be miles away by now, away from the impending danger, but how could I leave?

Just dragging Markus, Caspar and now Perry away would be hard enough, then there's the fact that I would be leaving everyone, leaving Paul.

 _Maybe he would come with us._

I shake the though from my head.

Paul wouldn't leave his friends behind, and I would never ask him to, besides, I promised him I'd stay so I'll stay, and whatever dangers may come I'll face it here. With my pack standing with me.

Three sharp raps at the door draw my attention away from my thoughts, my eyes moving from my reflection towards the direction of the kitchen as I hear Caspar squeal excitedly.

"Paul!"

Walking from the bathroom to the kitchen I smile softly at the sight of Paul holding Caspar with one hand holding him up and the other hand pushing the beaming toddler's wild curls back from his face.

"Hey little man, how's your leg?"

"Itchy." He grumbles, pressing his face against Paul's neck, arms holding him tightly. "Missed you."

Paul freezes a little, slowly moving his arm round to hold Caspar closer, hand rubbing soothing circles around the toddlers back.

"I'm sorry, I missed you too Cass. I was and idiot but I swear I'll make it up to you."

Caspar leans back so he could look into into the older man's face. "How?"

Paul leans forward and whispers something in Caspar's ear while I watch curiously, holding his finger over his lips when Caspar gasps excitedly.

"Weally!? Pewwy too?"

"Mhmm, But it's a surprise, so keep it a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone, not your mama, not Perry and especially not Seth, he can't keep a secret to save his life. You promise?"

Caspar's nods manically. "I pwonmise! I won't tell anyone!"

"Won't tell anyone what?" I ask as I walk into the room just as Paul sits Caspar back down into his chair, the three year old practicall bouncing in his spot, beaming at his brother who tilts his head curiously at the toddler, imploring him with his eyes to tell him the secret.

"Not telling." Caspar says teasingly, nose high in the air, poking his tongue out at Perry when he catches the expectant look on his brother's face and giggling when Perry scrunches his nose and crosses his arms over the table with a huff, pouting at the younger boy.

"Hey beautiful, you ready to go?" Paul ask, turning his eyes to me standing in the doorway, trailing them down over my body then back up to my face appreciatively.

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Not going to tell me huh?"

"Nope." He says, popping the p, the corners of his mouth curling as a large grin grows across his face.

Narrowing my eyes at him I just roll my eyes and move over to kiss Perry and Caspar goodbye, raising my voice to say bye to Markus so he could hear me in the room. "Be good for Markus yu two, Okay?"

"Okay Mama. Bye bye, love you." Caspar says as Perry nods his head at me, waving at me as I join Paul at the backdoor.

"Bye Moth." Perry says quietly.

"Love you both, bye." Paul takes my hand and leads me from the house into the evening air, shoulder brushing against mine as we start making our way towards the meeting point before he just drops his my hand and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his side, giving me a small smile when I lean my head against his shoulder and lean into him.

We walk in companionable silence, though I could tell Paul was growing agitated as we neared the meeting point, pace slowing the closer we got before stopping altogether when the muted sounds of the pack could be heard a short distance away.

"You can still change your mind you know." He says turning to me, hoping I'd want to turn back.

"I thought about it. I thought about running away from here." I say honestly, moving to stand in front of him taking his hands in mine, leaning up on my tiptoes to place my lips over his in a lingering kiss as he opens his mouth to argue. "But I can't leave you, or the others. I promised you I wouldn't leave, so I'll stay, and stand with you. Even if that means I can only help you with this." I murmur.

"You shouldn't even have to do this." Paul mutters hands coming up to run through my hair.

"I'm happy that I can offer you this, might as well put my training to some use. It did take up thirteen years of my life." I smile up at him.

"Guys?" The two of us look over to see Quil standing a little way away from us. "You ready? Everyone wants to start."

"They can fucking wait until we're ready." Paul grubles, tightening his hold on me.

"We'll be right there." I speak over Paul, shooting him a little glare before pulling away and following after Quil, pulling Paul along behind me by the hand.

The clearing was split off into two groups.

The pack, in wolf form, on one side and the coven on the other, Bella with them.

"Whats she doing here?" Paul growls, hand tightening on mine.

"She just came to watch." Quil says, shrugging his shoulders.

"She knows she's the reason we have to go through this bullshit right?" Paul grumbles eyes locking on the blonde vampire, Carlisle and the two that follow behind him as he walks over towards me.

"Moth. I was surprised to hear you were coming. It's lovely to see you. How is Caspar doing?"

"He's fine thank you. A little restless but the guys keep him entertained." I say a bit stiffly, feeling uncomfortable talking about my child to the immortal, but I would be civil, He was the one that helped my baby when he was hurt.

"I'm pleased to hear that." He smiles genuinely

"Moth." Jasper, who was standing just behind Carlisle, nods in greeting, a gleam of what almost seemed like eagerness in his amber eyes.

"Hey." I murmur back, wolf shifting under my skin as I feel the predatory excitement building inside the deceptively blankfaced blonde. He was the one to watch out for.

"Jasper and Carlisle have been waiting for you to arrive since we found out you were coming. They're both curious to see you in action."

"When are we starting?" I ask, leaning into Paul when he drapes his arm over my shoulder.

"Whenever you're ready." Carlisle answers. "You and Jasper will be taking the roles of instructors since you have the most experience and training for circumstances like these."

"I thought we could start with a demonstration." Japser chimes in.

"Sounds good. I'll just go over there and get ready then we can get going, I don't really want to strip in front of everyone." I chuckle a little, trying to ease the growing tension from Paul, who growls at the mention of me undressing in front of the others.

"Of course, Me and my family will be in position so just come over when you're ready." The trio move back over to their family who gather around to here the plan, casting curious glances at me as Paul leads me over to the pack, all in wolf form, except for Quil, who quickly walks into the tree line, emerging a minute later as a wolf.

"Okay?" Paul asks, kissing the side of my face.

"Mhmm. Are you staying human or changing?"

"I'll be shifting too. That alright?"

I nod my head, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips before I turn and moving into the tree line finding a spot with good coverage and start to undress, neatly folding my clothes in a pile, shake out my shoulders, arms and legs to loosen out my limbs, center my breathing and let the shift roll over me. Shifting always felt different when it wasn't out of anger or defence, and I never really did it, much preferring to be in my human form, though I needed to be wolf more. The usual sharp pain that felt like the pressure before you pop a locked joint became slow and angonising, a full body ache that made the process seem longer than the few seconds it actually took and left me a little winded.

Carefully rising to my feet, I shake my body out, cracking the joints in my hand before I place them back to the ground and reenter the clearing, ignoring the gasps I hear from the coven as I move over the the large, very smug looking, dark silver wolf.

Chuffing happily I rub against Paul's side, running my claws through his dense fur affectionately. A deep rumble filled his chest at my ministrations as he bumps his head against mine, mock growling at Seth when he jumps over to me, tail wagging like an excited puppy, slipping between Paul and I, pushing me to try and encourage me to play.

"In all my years, I've never seen anything like it."

Looking over towards the awed voice I see Carlisle staring, amazed, at me, slowly moving closer, the others rooted to the spot. My eyes flick over to Jasper, watching as he stands frozen in place, eyes glued to me.

I push Seth off me, rising to my feet before moving slowly over to the middle of the clearing, waiting for the coven to reach me and for the whole thing to get started.

Carlisle reaches me first, reaching out a hand towards me, eyes looking up into mine for permission and placing his cold hand on my arm when I give a hesitant nod.

"Incredible." He whispers as he takes in my upright, long, furred limbs, knife like claws, pale muzzle with the bearest hint of fangs all the way up to the tips of my ears. "Legs formed more wolf like, standing upright and resting hands to the ground." He gives a surprised little laugh. "You have opposable thumbs. Amazing." I flex my hands at his words, the light glinting off my claws, seeing them from his point of view. Here I was unusual next to the natural form of the Omegas, but at the facility the Betas were formed more like me, unatural and misshapen in many cases.

Paul steps up next to me, growling at the pale haired vampire until he drops his hand from my arm.

Seeing Paul's rising tension I look over to the mind reader, waiting until he catches my eyes before looking at him pointedly, waiting for him to do his thing, and rolling my eyes when he smirks at me for referring to it as 'his thing'.

"Carlisle. I think we should start now. Everyone's getting restless." He calls, raising his eyebrow at me and chuckling when I huff at the immortal teen.

Carlisle nods in understanding and walks back to his family, the coven and the pack forming a large, spaced circle, each group forming each half, while Jasper moves into the middle. I catch the worry in Paul's eyes as he watches me but I just give him a wolffish grin and shake out my fur before I join the scarred vamp in the center, who gives me a hesitant smile before launching into his plan of attack.

"I'd like to give a demonstration if that's alright with you. I'll play the newborn and show the more common ways on how they will attack, after we'll demonstrate counters and defences then we'll go through some more advanced attacks and manuevers." He looks up at my towering form for assurance.

Sticking my newly admired clawed thumb up at the blonde I get ready to be restrained, since one of the favoured newborn techniques was to hold and crush their target with their heightened strength.

I crouch down and mimick the natural stance of the pack wolves, meeting Paul's eyes when Jasper's arms come around me, secured in the middle of my chest, I can read his unhappiness at the situation in his clearly in eyes but I put as much reassurance in mine as possible as the grip tightens and Jasper starts to address the group, going through the motions of what to expect when facing a newborn.

It felt alien to be in this position again. I thought I'd given up this part of my life when I left, given up the constant training and need to be better than the numerous threats at the facility, it almost felt wrong to let this part of my old life leak into the new, I could do it for the pack though. I'd felt this crushing grip many times before and it wasn't the firm but carefully restrained hold of a demonstration but the real bone shattering pressure of brutal training. I would do everything I could to prepare the wolves, and the Cullen's to help my pack avoid going through the same agony.

Feeling the grip tighten and shift to lift me slightly, so that the hold was fully visible across my chest, I steel my nerves and push away the stomache turning feeling of painful memories, ready to do my best for my pack.


	42. Just Tell Me

**.42.**

Paul and Caspar had been acting strangely these past few days, and it was starting to creep me out, and since they had been acting this way since Paul came to pick me up for the first night of training and spent nearly all of his free time with us to make up for the lost time we had during the whole misunderstanding with Monica, their behaviour didn't seem to be letting up anytime soon.

It started with the two of them asking little questions constantly through the day, which wasn't so bad, I loved speaking to the both of them, but it was the looks they'd give me while they waited for me to answer, then they'd look at each other like they had accomplished some scheme the two had come up with.

They did the same with Perry, watching him just as close when he was eating or asked me for anything, it was unnerving.

"Do you like wed mama?" Caspar asks from his spot on the floor, large pile of socks in front of him as he did his best to match them with their pair.

"As much as any other colour, why?"

Caspar just grins and shakes his head at me, turning his head to watch his brother who sat opposite side of the piles of clothes we were sorting. "What about Pewwy? Pewwy likes wed?"

Perry looks over at his brother from where he was putting the clothes on their hangers and separating them into a pile for each person. "I like red." He says, casting me a questioning glance.

I just shrug at him, as clueless as he was about the toddlers motive for the last few days of questioning and scrutiny we had each been subjected to.

"Why are you asking?" Perry asks, dropping the hanger he was holding and watching his brother closely. "You're up to something."

"No I'm not." Caspar says, crossing his arms and shaking turning his head away from his brother.

"Yes you are! I know it." Perry insists. "You and Paul!"

"You'rwe wong!" Caspar shouts.

"Since you're hands have stopped moving and you're chatting away I can take this to mean you've fininshed your chores?" I ask, stepping in before the bickering went any further, I was curious about the two's motives too but Caspar was obviously putting all his efforts into whatever it was and keeping it a secret so I'd let him achieve whatever goal he was aiming for and just wait and see what was to come. Grinning as the two hurriedly start on their chores again I leave them to set the table for dinner, automatically setting out two extra places since Paul and Seth were regular attendees now, seth especially since Caspar's accident.

After placing the plates piled with a leafy and potato salad, pulled barbecue chicken and some fruits down on the table, I grab the oven gloves then slide the piping hot cake out of the oven, rolling my eyes when Seth, followed by Paul, walks through the back door at that very moment, nose high in the air as he inhales the freshly baked smell of the caramel apple upside-down cake I had baked for everyone.

"Smells so good." Seth basically drools as he leans down and inhales deeply, nose almost touching the base of the cake.

"Leave it you." I scold lightly pushing him away, towards the table, "you'll get some when everyone's finished their lunch, Perry and Cass have to finish their chores before we start, shouldn't be much longer."

"No fair." He pouts before peeking up again as he quickly starts moving towards the living room. "I'll go help them!"

Shaking my head affectionately at the younger teen as he disappears from sight I turn back to flip the cake tin out on a plate, placing the sweet smelling cake in the center of the table, secretly hoping it would be enough of an incentive for Caspar to eat all of his dinner, not just picking his favourite parts.

Turning to chuck the cake tin in the sink I bump straight into Paul's solid chest, feeling the rumble of his chuckle against my face as he studies me with his hands holding firmly onto my hips, then pushes me back against the worktop before lifting me effortlessly onto the surface and settling between my legs, leaning forwards and claiming my lips in a fierce kiss.

I don't know how much time passed before the shrill sound of Caspar's giggling drew me from the pleasurable haze Paul always drew over mind. Batting him away when he chuckles at the bright flush to my cheeks, I give him a quick peck before hopping down off the side and moving over to the table, pulling Caspar's chair out for him just as he hops into the room, holding tightly to Perry's hand for balance. "All finished?" I ask.

"Yes mama." Caspar smiles, Perry nodding his head in agreement.

"Thank you for finishing your chores, I bend and kiss their cheek as they take their seats. "I've made cake for after you've eaten."

"Yummy cake!" Caspar cheers, bouncing in his seat. Taking advantage of his good mood I quickly load his plate with the various things, sliding it in front of him before he takes his eyes of the cake, and ignoring the pout on his face When he spots the salad adorning his plate next to his much loved strawberry's.

"Help yourself boys." I say to the two. Markus was, like most days, spending his time with Billy and the other tribe elders, catching up for lost time and enjoying his newly regained freedom however he wanted, of course spending just as much time with us, his family, but the man needed space to settle in a place that had changed in his absence but remained just familiar enough that he could catch fleeting reminders that he was home.

"You're not eating?" Seth asks around a mouthful of potato salad.

"No, I'm not hungry." I reply, catching the frown forming on Paul's face as he looks up from his food and takes in the plateless spot in front of me.

"Why not?" He asks.

"I don't know." I shrug, probably ate too much of the food while I was preparing dinner." I shrug, looking down into the cup of green tea I had prepared for myself.

"A few more bites won't hurt." Paul, urges nudging his half empty plate towards me, frowning when I slide it back.

"I'm fine."

Narrowing his eyes at me, Paul reluctantly goes back to his food, casting me sidelong looks as he eats.

"I'll be watching the boys tonight." Seth announces.

"You're not coming to training?" I ask.

"No, I promised these two that we'd have a sleepover and I haven't been able to see them much since lol the training started, besides Markus wants to head down to a bar with Billy so I said I'd cover for him." He laughs, grinning at the two brothers as their eyes shine with excitement. "It's okay right?"

"As long as you don't let them get too crazy and make sure Cass gets to bed at a reasonable time, I don't see why not, we're not too far away if you need anything anyway."

"Great!" Seth beams at the two brothers, receiving an enthusiastic smile and bouncing from Caspar and even a shy smile from the Beta.

"I'll catch you up on training tomorrow. We'll probably just be going over everything anyway."

"Cool, I get a one-on-one lesson from Moth!" Seth holds his hand up and high fives Caspar, then coaxed another from Perry, chuckling at the Beta as he barely looks at the teen as he hesitantly taps his waiting hand.

"Don't be too pleased about it." Rumbles Paul. "I'll be there too."

Seth merely rolls his eyes at the possessiveness in the gruff wolf's voice.

Shaking my head at the two, I carefully school my features as I feel the twinge of hunger in my stomache, giving Paul a small smile as he peers at me again suspiciously, watching me watching him eat. He offers me a fork full of food but again I shake my head. I wouldn't eat for a while. Couldn't. The wolf needed to be hungry.

"Caspar, before you eat all your chicken and are just left with greens I should warn you that you're only getting cake when everything on your plate is eaten, so maybe eat some of it with your greens and it may be more enjoyable for you to eat."

"Okay mama." Caspar pouts, using his knife to guide some salad onto his fork with the chicken and reluctantly lifting it to his mouth.

Smothering my chuckle at my pouty toddler I mentally slicing a slightly larger slice of cake off for his efforts, as I rise to refill my cup, hoping the tee may take the edge of my stomache, I will be relieved when this battle is won and over so I can settle again.

* * *

"I thought I'd pair everyone off today and have some spars, see what everyone's taken in and what needs working on. Plus I think some of them need to let off some steam. The battles getting closer and it's making everyone restless." Jaspar informs me, eyes flicking over Paul, Jacob and Emmet.

"That sounds good, there's an odd number today so I'll sit out."

"There's no need, I'll just rotate the people so everyone gets a chance to face each other."

"No, no. I can sit this one out." I assure, gazing out into the field as I watch everyone.

"Is everything alright Moth?"

Looking away from the group, my eyes settle on the vampire as he watches me, concern in his eyes. "I'm fine." Ignoring his sceptical look I turn back towards the group, smiling as some members of the pack catch my eye and give me a wave.

"You could Ref then." He says hesitantly, stepping up beside me and looking out over the spreadout supernaturals, watching with me as they go through some manuvers and stances. "This is all going to end well, you know."

"Are you reading me vampire?" I ask, vaguely amused that he was trying to comfort me.

"Everyone's going to be fine and life will go on as normal."

I shoot him a disbelieving look. "I don't think I've been in the world long enough to have a 'normal'." I tease, hand rubbing small circles on my stomache.

"Are you feeling nauseous?" Jaspar asks. "Your hand keeps moving to your stomache." He elaborates when I look at him questioningly.

"I'm fi-"

"Your fine. So you've said, but just know I know better." My eyes narrow at the vamp in irritations, outs opening to say something back.

"Moth!" Looking over towards the pack I see Paulwat hing me, eyes flicking between me and the blonde beside me. "Come here."

Sighing, I rise to my feet and nod at the watching blonde, crossing the distance to my imprint, gratefully leaning into his waiting arms. "You alright?" He asks, hand running through my hair.

"Mhmm." I nod against his firm chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"How come you haven't shifted yet?"

"You're getting paired off tonight and sparring, see you've actually been paying attentionn, I'm the Ref."

"I'm always paying attention when you're around." He teases, squeezing me closer for a moment before he relaxes his hold, thumbs brushing against my back.

"See if you've been paying attention to the _lessons._ I know you've been watching me, you're not exactly subtle about it." I roll my eyes as he leers down at me.

"How comes your not getting paired off today anyway? Not that I'm not happy about it." He rumbles.

"Didn't think it would be fair, we need to see what you've got. You wouldn't get the chance if you were fighting me." I tease. Grinning as he lowers his face to mine and kisses me with a low growl, reluctantly pulling away when Jaspar calls for everyone's attention.

"Better get going." I breathe against his lips, rising up on my tiptoes and giving his a quick peck before taking his hand and leading him over to the gathered group.

... ... ... .. .

I took advantage of my Referee role by dragging a log from the forest line into a good viewing point, ignoring the raised eyebrows at the casual show of strength, and stettling down with my back against the wood to watch the matches. Giving input to both winners and losers after each had been fought. My cheeks hurt erode we were even halfway through, seeing the enjoyment on the packs face, even knowing what these fights were leading up to, eased some of the tension that had been building since these sessions had begun.

After he had had his fun, Paul had trotted off I to the trees to shif and pull on his cutoffs before joining me at my log, pushing me forward so that he could move behind me and pull me back to lean against his chest. Rumbling happily when I slump into his hold, hands resting oh his as they lay over my stomache.

"Everyone seems to have picked up on all the techniques." Jaspar says, coming over to sit down beside us, watching the current pair as they fought to get one up on their opponent. The blonde vampires superior speed pushing the lone wolf to work harder for his win.

"Didn't expect any less, though hopefully there will be less goading and showboating during the battle." I not so subtlety dirtiest at Paul with a gentl nudge of my elbow then nod my head towards Jasper's larger, very pleased looking, dark haired coven member.

"I'm sure between the two of us we can keep them in line." He chuckles.

Paul's arms tighten around me. "You can try, but I doubt I'd be any help from where I'll be." I grin back, smile dropping slightly at the confused look on his face. "I'm not fighting." I state, hands soothing over Paul's as I speak.

"What? But why?" Jaspar shocked and baffled by my announcement.

"Paul and I decided it would be best if I stayed out of it, especially since the volturi are involved. They can't know I'm here."

"She And Cass will be with the other imprints. Away from the battle." Paul grumbles.

"But you're our best asset. With you fighting along side us we're certain to win." Jaspar stiffens as Paul let's out a low warning growl, "She's not a tool le-" I interrupt by pulling away from him and rising to my feet. He jerks his head up to check if I'm upset but I simply smile at him and hold my hand out for him and wait for him to stand, twinning my fingers with his when he does.

Looking over to the blonde vampire as he too rises to his feet, keeping his movements slow as though he was trying not to provoke a wild animal into attacking. Speaking my head at him I give him a small smile. "I don't want to be an asset for other people's battles, I just want to be safe. When he asked me to stay out of the battle Paul may have thought he was being selfish and putting my safety over everyone else's, but regardless he made me happy. Yes, I offered and yes I'm worried, but I'm ready if anything should go wrong and that's why I offered to train everyone, I'm lesseing the chances that anything will. While the pack is protecting us, I'll be with my babies safe at home. If the pack needed me to, I would face anything with them but this time they don't need me to fight their battles for them. I don't _have_ to fight anymore, I have a choice now, and I don't want to live out my life on a battlefield."

I smile up at Paul as he slides his arms around my waist, squeezing slightly as he leans down to kiss the side of my neck.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to cause offence." Jaspar says, stricken, as stands.

"No offence caused, I just wanted to make myself clear. So if you've planned everything around me being there, you may want to rethink that."

"We alright to leave now?" Paul asks before using his hold around my waist to lead me away when the vampire nods his head and utters a confirmation.

"What about the others? We haven't finished the session." I say, confused, peering behind me to see that the group had stopped the current match and were watching us leave, the creepy 'I know something you don't' look that Caspar and Paul had been wearing lately, plastered on their faces, even the covens'.

"I told them earlier that we'd be leaving early. I need you well rested for tomorrow." He says.

"What's happening tomorrow?"

"It's a surprise." Glaring up at him, I give a little huff, causing him to chuckle and shake his head as I cross my arms over my chest. "Stop sulking."

"Im not sulking." I pout up at him. "Wha-?" I stumble awkwardly as Paul stops us and pushes me back until my back his a tree before leaning down to slant his mouth over mine.

Im panting heavily by the time he pulls away with a smirk as I glare up at him. "What was that for?"

"That cute little pout of yours." He growls in answers, kissing me again.

Metling into him, I lean up and wrap my arms around his neck, moaning slightly when he deepens the kiss.

"Are you staying tonight?" I ask breathlessly, lips brushing his.

Pauls hands move to frame my face, thumbs smoothing over my reddened cheeks, nose and lips brushing against my own. "I want to... but I've got some stuff to finish before tomorrow."

Dropping my arms, my glare returns with a vengeance as I stare up at the amused looking man. "Why can't you just tell me what you're planning?"

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise." He says easily.

"Fine." I grump, pushing away from him and starting in the direction of my house again, not waiting for him. "Goodnight."

"Will you be alright getting back by yourself from here?" He asks, holding his hands up in surrender when I shoot him a withering glare. "Sleep tight baby, I'll see you in the morning, be ready bright and early." Paul calls after me, not at all faced by my attitude. Rolling my eyes I give up and wave goodbye, feeling his eyes follow me as melt into the darkness.

I wrap my arms around myself as I walk back through the trees, making quick work of the short journey. The days were warming up the night still carried a chill that raised goosebumps on my skin, a chill that Paul's substantial body heat could have eased if it wasn't for this surprise he and Caspar were so excited about.

Crinkling my nose I try and perk my mood up, knowing that my hunger was making me a little more irritable.

Paul was planning a surprise, and he was involving Caspar and Perry.

I feel warmth bloom in my chest for the older Beta. Since he had turned up he hadn't left the area surrounding the house. His long, lithe limbs and clawed hands, sharper teeth and pointed ears all stood out starkly to the very soft human features that humans typically had. He would stick out like a sore thumb, even more than me, and sticking out was a dangerous thing when you're an escaped science experiment, especially when The place you escaped from was run by the Vultori. It was difficult to even move freely here, where giant wolves, our originals, roamed the forest, keeping unknowing tribe and family members safe from creatures they thought only exsisted stories told around a fire.

This would be a first for Perry. Whatever it was.

Coming into the clearing around my house, I cross the space and quietly enter the house, quickly going through my bedtime routine and change out of my clothes in the bathroom before walking down the short hall where the bedrooms where and peeking my head into Perry and Markus's shared room, grinning at the sight of them both in their respective beds, sprawled out and deep asleep. After softly closing the door I pad a little further down the hall to my own room, pausing for a second at the sight of Seth laid out over the bottom of the bed in wolf smaller than most of the others he still curled tightly in on himself so to not hang off either side of the double bed. Caspar was deep asleep in his usual spot, on the side furthest from the door, curled on his side, with one hand clutching the edge of the blanket against his cheek and the other tucked under his pillow.

Smiling at the pair, I quietly ease into the room, slowly shutting the door behind me, and gently slip into my bed, sighing happily as I pull the blanket over me, easing some of the cramping in my gut, my eyes closing immediately. Easing over to curl my body around Caspar, sharing some of my warmth with the toddler who smiles a little in his sleep as he turns over and snuggles into me, I sigh as I relax into the mattress, quickly falling into sleep.

Ideas of what Paul's surprise could be shifting from my thoughts into my dreams.


	43. Learning to Swim

_A/N: I know that Paul was supposed to be living with his dad, but I changed it to his mum because I'm writing a lot of male characters and I fancied a change. (I'm not sure what her name was so I'm calling her Karen.) :p_

 **.43.**

"What's that?"

Frowning down at the metal contraption in front of me, looking over at a larger one in front of Perry and a much smaller one with two extra wheels in front of a beaming Caspar, I reach my hand over and slide the small lever on the handle, jumping slightly when a shrill chime rings out.

"It's a bike." Paul says standing over the other side of his own one, a small tent-like trailer thing attached to the back. "I was thinking about a present to get Caspar and Perry, something that all kids loved that Perry would enjoy too. The only thing I could think of was a bike, I saw your one while I was down at the store. Since you've not had the same upbringing as us on the outside I thought it could be something new to learn, and it will be quicker for you to get around. Caspar won't be able to ride his until his cast Is off, that's what the trailers for, but I can teach you and Perry and Cass can learn when he's healed." He shrugs.

"This is your surprise?" I ask, running my hands over the pale blue frame. "But I thought we were going to the beach, I've slavered the boys in sun cream and brought some swim trunks for Perry especially." I say quietly, knowing that Perry had been worrying about this trip since I had told him.

"It's only part of it." A grin spread widely over his face as he takes in my awed expression. "You like it?"

"I love it." I smile, walking round to plant a kiss on his cheek, quickly turning back to my new bike. "How do you work it?"

"I'll show you. First bring your leg over and sit on the seat, keep your feet planted so you don't topple over. Hmm I might have to lower the seat for you, I brought the smallest size they had for this model but it's still a little too tall." He chuckles as I stand with the bike tilted slightly so I could use one foot as a balance. "You got it Perry?" He looks over to his other student.

"Yes." He nods, deceptively stoic expression on his face, belied by the excited sparkle in his eyes, as he mounts his cherry red bike, his model much taller than mine.

"Alright, when you're ready push off and pull your feet up and peddle, there's a brake on your handle bar, here." He taps the brake, "in case you need to stop. Got it?" He waits for me to nod my head in conformation before walking off to make sure Perry understood.

Doing as he said, I push off of the ground, feet quickly coming up onto the peddles and pushing down, only to realise that I needed to build more speed as I topple clumsily to the ground, bike landing over my legs.

"Ouch." I grumble as Caspar burst out laughing, Perry looking up from where he was staring down at the bike as Paul explained to him about the gears, startled, only to then cover his mouth with his hand to stifle his laugh at my Afro ted look.

"You okay baby?" Paul asks as he moves over to pull me up with one hand while lifting the bike back up with the other.

"I'm fine, just took me by surprise. I know what to do now though." I assure, re-straddling the bike. Swiftly pushing off I start peddling at a faster pace than my first attemp, laughing joyously when I stay upright this time and start riding around the clearing surrounding the house, going full circle before skidding to a halt, using my foot not the brakes, propping the bike up and jumping off to throw my arms around Paul. "Thank you!"

He grins wrapping an arm around my waist and leaning down to kiss me. "I'm glad you like it, but maybe try using your brakes next time, it'll give me some peace of mind for when your cycling around town on it."

"Worry wart." I tease. "I'm not made of glass you know."

He merely smiles before bending down to kiss me again.

"I want a go!" Caspar shouts, bouncing up and down from his spot on the porch steps. "I want a go!"

"When you're healed." Paul answers, pulling away from me to walk over to the tot, ruffling his hair as his face creases in disappointment. "I promise. I've got your bike ready. But for now," He lifts Caspar carefully into his arms, "You'll get to be rode around in your own chariot." He sits Caspar in the seated trailer atttched to the back of his own bike, hops on and starts to ride, Caspar immediately cheering up as he goes.

Perry rides past me, wobbling slightly he tries to turn around to follow after Paul and Caspar. Pushing along with my foot for some momentum before pushing with the peddles, I follow along with the group as Paul leads us around the house, then turns down to one of the trails leading towards the beach.

"Where are we going?" Perry calls nervously towards Paul, not recognising the way since he hadn't dared going past the area around the house since he'd arrived.

"Beach!" Caspar answers happily, knowing the way to his favourite place by heart.

Perry shoots me an uneasy look over his shoulder. "I'm right here with you." I smile back reassuringly. He nods his head a little, not looking at all comfortable, and continues to follow Paul on his first trip to the beach.

... ... ... ... ...

"Boat!" Caspar squeals as paul lifts him out of his seat. "Mama, Perry boat!" He claps his hands together, Paul having to hold him more securely as he fidgets excitedly in his arms.

I laugh at his hyperactiveness as I rest my bike next to Perry's, walking next to him and taking everything in as he does.

There was a blanket and picnic basket out on the sand, under the shade of a curved tree, with a couple of pillows on it and varied collection of beach fun items next to it including, a beach ball, buckets and spades with small seashell shaped mould, arm bands and pool noodles and an inflatable boat, complete with two oars.

"I know he's not suppose to get his cast wet so, while I'm teaching Perry to swim he can row around in that little thing, I've and dry. I've got a plastic bag and some tape as an extra precaution."

"He's going to love it, thank you." I smile at him, feeling warmth burst in my chest.

He smiles back at me warmly before shifting Caspar to his side and clapping his hands together. "Right guys, what first, food or fun?"

"Fun!" Caspar shouts, Perry agreeing at a quieter volume, as I answer food, eyeing the usual large hamper I was sure Emily had packed.

"No mama." Caspar giggles, "fun firwst, then food."

"Fine." I huff, before beaming at my small family. "Let's get this boat on water and your armbands on then!"

"Yay!" Caspar cheers then giggles as Paul stets him into the boat and goes to work helping him to remove his t-shirt, chucking it on the blanket, and pulling the plastic bag up over his cast and taping it a little way above.

"No getting it wet." Paul instructs, taking hold of the line attached to the front of the blowup boat and carefulling pulling him towards the sea.

Chuckling at Caspar's glee, I carefully fold up his discarded t-shirt, and Perry's as he passes it to me, before stripping out of my dress, revealing my blue swimming costume beneath, and folding it with the other clothes and shoes. Picking up a pool noodle and a pair of armbands, I help Perry slide them up his arms, taking hold of his hand once they're in place. "Come on, Paul's going to teach you to swim." I smile, leading him towards the water.

"I don't know." He murmurs, eyeing the water fearfully.

"Let's just stand in it first, see how you feel. There's nothing to be scared of, we're right here with you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I pull him closer until his feet hit the water, continuing until the water lapped just below his knees, mid thigh on me. "Besides, you're so tall if it gets too deep you could just take a step back."

He nods jerkily, taking in a deep breath as I lead hi deeper, having to treat water by the time he was in chest deep, his arms floating out to the side, palms open flat over the surface, his eyes following their movements as he glides them over the water.

"Pewwy look!" Caspar shouts, sitting on his little boat, oars in hand as he tries to move the boat closer to his brother, Paul giving him a helping push in the right direction. Perry reaches out and grabs inflated sides, smiling at his brother's toothy grin. "You'we swimming!" He stretches his arms out wrapping his arms around his Perry's neck when he leans over to hug his little brother.

"Not yet." Paul chuckles. "But he will, there's no rush."

"Okay." Perry nods, starting to wade around in the water towing Caspar along by the line, looking over to me with a rare, wide grin slashed across his face.

Smiling at the older brother I hold my finger to my lips, telling him to keep quiet as I duck below the water, gliding easily under the surface until I'm just behind Caspar's little boat. kicking my legs, I rush to the surface. Bursting up with a splash I wrap my arms around Caspar, blowing a raspberry against his neck as he squeals happily. Laughing, I swim away as he twists in his spot to see me, cheeks red from the effort of his shrill giggles.

Sticking my tongue out to taunt him, I gasp as Paul suddenly rises up out of the water beneath me, hands grasping my waist and propelling me upwards as he throws me into the air. Landing a little way away with a large splash.

Sputtering as I resurface, I shoot a glare at the trio as they struggle to catch their breaths through their hysterics.

"Sure, throw the little guy." I grouch, mock scowling at the group of boys as they wipe the tears from their eyes. I pretend to sulk, watching as Paul sobers slightly, worrying that I'm genuinely upset, and starts wading towards me. "Aw, don't be mad baby, it's only a game."

Throwing a glare his way I sink low under the water, quickly swimming over to him before he can follow me under and planting my feet to the floor, wrapping my arms around his waist let the wolf out a little as I propel us upward, lunching him into the air.

He shouts in shock as he falls, flailing back into the sea, rising to the surface with a shocked expression on his face, his turn to take in our peels of laughter.

"No one's done that to me since I was a kid." He laughs ruefully at me, shaking his head before he starts stalking towards me. "You know this means war right?"

"Caspar, Perry help me!" I turn and start paddling towards them as they come to my aid, Caspar using his oar to splash Paul, Perry following suit after a brief hesitation.

"Hey! Who's on my side?" He asks, focusing his slashing towards Perry, who laughed and shook out his mop of hair.

"Perry get him!" Caspar shouts, laughing madly as he effectively just ineffectively slashes the surface of the water. "Get him!" Joining in, between the three of us, mainly Perry and I while Caspar squeals and giggles manically, we manage to hold Paul off until he gives in.

"Okay, Okay! I surrender!" He laughs, using his hand to wipe some water out of his eyes.

"We won, we won." Caspar grins to his brother, holding up his hand for a high-five.

Paul chuckles at the pair, wading over to grasp hold of the little boat to pass the line to me, not bothering to hide his laugh when I lean up to rest my crossed arms on the side of the boat, since unlike the taller two in the water, my feet were no where near the ground. Daring him to say something with a pointed lookbefore turning to a very unsure looking Perry, I smile at the older brother, giving him a thumbs up, mirrored by Caspar, who proceeded to blow over exaggerated kisses at the two opposite us, a little happily we had all taken up since Caspar wouldn't be as free to run up and give kisses for a little while. Perry laughs and portends to try and catch the flyaway kisses as though they were butterfly's, smacking them on his cheek as he grasps them.

"Alright little man, since you're such a good motivator, you can help keep your brother motivated while I teach him to swim."

"Okay!" He beams, immediately clapping his hands and cheering for his brother, chuckling at his eagerness I join in, watching Perry's cheeks turn red as he tries to duck his head but realises he can't without submerging his face in the water.

"Alright. Ready Perry? Once we've got it down we can eat, then we'll get to the real surprise."

"You mean this isn't the surprise? You've already done enough today." I frown as Paul simply, smirks a me.

"I'm making up for the whole sitstorm-"

"Naughty word!" Caspar chides.

"Sorry- for everything that happened last week, besides I've been meaning to do this for a while, there were just some things that needed to be sorted first. Don't worry baby, you're more than worth any extra effort I have to put in." He grins, giving me a wink. "Now Perry, let's get you swimming."

... ... ... ... ...

"I think I should have thought this through more." Paul mumbles, as he lifts Caspar from his ride, settling him comfortably in his arms and rubbing his back soothingly as Cass stirs. "I didn't think he'd be this tired since he wouldn't be swimming."

"Never underestimate Caspar." Leaning the bike up against the side of the house I eye the building curiously.

By the time Paul had announced that we needed to leave since we had to be somewhere soon we had built Perry's confidence in the water, got him swimming, ate our picnic and played away the rest of the afternoon, now it was evening and around the time I'd usually start preparing dinner for my boys, but Paul had said he had another surprise that could not wait until tomorrow, so here we were at his house.

"Do you want me to wake him? He'll miss dinner but I can put him in my room while we eat." Paul asks, watching me as I I've slowly up the porch, Perry close behind me.

"That would be great thanks, he ate a lot earlier so he should be fine, I'll give him a snack if he wakes up." Following him into the house as he opens the door, moving past him a him as he moves to the side to hold the door open to us. "You've made dinner?" I ask, jumping slightly when a feminine laugh answers.

Eyes widening I only stare as a middle aged woman emerges from one of the rooms, smiling a little at me. I hear an intake of breath behind me and I reach back to take Perry's hand, squeezing reassuringly.

"I thought that you would be hungry for something other than charcoal so I sorted dinner." She laughs. "You must be Moth. It's nice to meet you."

Perry's hand clutches mine painfully tight, his head ducking as he presses close and hunches to minimalist his height.

"I'm karen. Paul's mom."


	44. Sharing

_A/N: I didn't want another grandparent figure really so I changed the ending of the last chapter slightly. I wrote and rewrote this chapter a lot so I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post. I'm determined to get back on a regular posting routine but I'm geting a bit of writer's block now we're getting nearer to the battle with the newborns wich is a key point in the ordinal story so please bare with me. Hope you like the chapter and thanks to all for sticking with the story. ^.^_

* * *

 _ **.**_ **44.**

"Is that Caspar? He looks just like he was born here, you don't look much alike at all dear." She muses.

"Uh-" My mouth opens and closes, unable to form any words. "Yes. Um, well..."

"and you're other son... he's certainly very tall, must take after his father eh?"

I look back at Paul and Perry in desperation, hoping that one of them would have something to say, but Perry only presses his face against the back of my shoulder and Paul just frowns at his mother, a heavy sigh heaving out his chest.

"Are they alright?" Paul's mom's tight smile drops as she looks between my deer-in-the-headlights expression and Perry's ducked head before looking questioningly at Paul, who just rubs Caspar's back and chuckles, starting to move past us and into the house.

"They're just shy, I told you they weren't used to meeting new people." He pauses just in front of me. "Mom will take you through to the table, I'll just go lay him down." Leaning down he kisses me gently before moving through one of the doors.

Paul's mom watches his sign of affection with a thoughtful look on her face. "This way, I'm sorry I don't really cook so I brought a takeaway for us. I hope you like Chinese food." Leading is through to the kitchen she ushers us over to a small round table surrounded by four chairs and a high chair.

"We're not really fussy with foods." I answer, leading Perry by the hand to the seat next to the high-chair before taking the one next to him, Paul's mom taking the one the other side of the high-chair leaving a seat for Paul spare between us.

"I asked my friend if her daughter had kept any of her high-chairs, her kids are a bit too old for them now." She explains.

"You didn't have to." My hands clasp together on my lap, feeling nervous in the woman's presence.

"Oh no, it was no problem, Paul explained everything." She assures, smiling. "Though I am a bit surprised that my son is seriously dating someone, especially since that person has kids!" She says, reaching forward to take a sip out of her glass, "Oh yes, would you like some wine Moth?"

I open my mouth to reply when Paul rejoins us, taking the seat between his mom and I.

"He's out, didn't even stir when I laid him down." He smiles, placing his large hand over both of mine, squeezing comfortingly.

"I wish Paul would have slept as soundly as that, he was lightest sleeper I've ever met." She smiles a little. "Anyway, I didn't order all this food for nothing, dig in."

Paul starts serving first, dumping a large hunks of food on my plate then his, then moving on to load a large pile of stir fried vegetables and several side dishes on as well, giving me a pointed look, like he expected me to eat the whole plate and lick it clean after, peeking up at his mother, I wince at the pointed expression on her face as she watches me while filling her own plate, passing one of the tubs of food over to Perry.

 _Well shit._

Mouth watering and stomache cramping painfully, I pick up my cutlery and slowly cut of a small piece. I fight a moan as the food hits my tongue, the food tasting so good after so long of not eating properly.

Seeming satisfied with whatever he saw in my face Paul starts to dig into his own plate as his mom starts telling us about herself and her work at the local diner, whilst trying to get Perry to join in on the conversation but only receiving one worded replies or nods and shrugs of his shoulders.

I crave more of the delicious food, but I can't bring myself to eat it, so I try as hard as possible to make it look like I was, cutting it up, moving it around my plate, taking a few small bites now and again.

"- I was Surprised when Paul said he wanted to introduce me to someone, he's never done it to any of the other girls he was seeing, not that I didn't see them around the house anyway." She shakes her head.

"I wasn't that bad mom and I barely ever brought anyone here." Paul rolls his eyes. "Anyway that was all before I met Moth." He smiles over at me.

"Yes, thats why I was so surprised. Now, Moth, tell me about yourself. Paul had been tight lipped whenever I ask about you." She smiles at me, leaning back in her chair and taking a sip of her wine.

I freeze a little as the attention shifts onto me. "We'll I'm eighteen." I start, not really sure what to say.

Nearly choking on her wine, Paul's mom sputters, sitting forward with her hand on her chest. "Only eighteen? Then how is it that-?" She gestures towards Perry, who ducks his head at the attention.

"Mom." Paul warns, glaring at the shocked looking woman.

"Oh no, Perry is not my biological son, he and Cass have the same father." I see Perry tense from the corner of my eye, head ducking lower, almost resting on the table.

"He's not yours?" She asks, confused.

"He _is_ mine. I just didn't give birth to him. He's older than me but he's just as much my baby as Cass." I state firmly, smiling softly at Perry when he grips my wrist drops his knife and fork to grip my arm and press his face against my shoulder. I make soothing noises as he presses closer, combing my fingers through his thick hair.

"He's older?" She asks.

"Yes, Markus reckons he's physically about twenty-three years old."

"Why would you take him on, special needs children are a lot of time and work and you're so young, surely Markus could take him."

"He's not a burden to me." I frown, wrapping my other arm around Perry to sooth my palm over his back. "He's Cass brother, and I love having him with me. Besides, Markus does help, so does Perry, Caspar's much happier now he's with us, and the rest of the guys offer help now, my life is the easiest it ever has been. Yes he's older, and yes he's different, but he's mine, like Cass is mine." Looking up at her thoughtful expression I give a little chuckle. "It's probably a bit strange to unofficially adopt someone older than you, people might be confused if I said my oldest son is older than me huh?"

"No, not at all. They'd probably think he was mine and that I'd bagged myself a nice little trophy wife." Paul grins.

"Great." I roll my eyes, pushing Perry back to his seat, and putting his cutlery back in his hands, pushing his plate back towards him. "Eat some more Perry."

"Is their father in their lives?" Paul's mom asks.

"No." I answer, brushing Perry's hair from his eyes, so his face was more visible.

Paul's mom merely nods, taking a thoughtful sip from her glass. "So you're prepared to take them on Paul?" She asks. "You who always shrugs me off when I ask you about settling down, you're suddenly ready to raise two children who aren't yours and settle with a younger woman?"

"Moth and I have had to talk this through as well, she knows about how I used to mess around, and she found it hard to see that I'd be happy changing my ways all of a sudden. It's hard to understand unless you feel it but I'm happy. How can I not be happy with this change in my life when it's given me everything I never knew I needed." He smiles softly at me, taking my hand and squeezing it affectionately.

"It's just going to take some time for me to get used to you being all demosticated and responsible for once I guess." His mom shrugs.

Pauls mom, who insisted I called her Karen and not Mrs. Lahote, asked questions and told me about her friends throughout the evening, there was one friend she seemed especially proud to know who worked with children with special needs, helping them learn and gain confidence and independence. I assumed this was because Paul had mention something about him being Beta, though she didn't ask about that outright, I could see she was curious though, especially when I'd catch her looking over Perry's not quite human enough appearance, something that kept him hidden away in the pack too, but she bit her tongue and gave a little smile whenever Perry would peak up and catch her watching. Perry made an effort too, sometimes even using more than one word to answer, which made us all smile. I was pleased with Perry for trying but the whole thing felt very awkward.

After we'd all eaten, karen lead us through to the living room, where we sank down into the soft couches, Paul, Perry and I on the three seater and Karen across from us on the two seater, and carried on our conversation only pausing when Karen would frown at my mentions of the pack and when we heard Caspar rousing and calling out for me, Paul, sat to me left with his arm around me, and the other resting on my leg holding me close to him, squeezed my thigh gently before going to get Caspar from his room.

Karen watched closely as Paul reentered the room with a bleary looking Caspar rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Walking over to me Paul lowered Cass down into my waiting arms before retaking his potion beside me, arm going back aroun me, playing with one of my curls.

"He's certainly is handsome." Karen says softly, as she looked over Cass, who had settled with his head resting on my chest thumb entering his mouth as he watches the older woman warily. "Hello Caspar, I'm karen, Paul's mom."

"Paul's mama?" Cass asks, looking over to Paul, who nods at him, reaching over to tuck a stray curl behind his ear.

"Just look at those eyes." Karen says from across from us, not making a move to come closer to the nervous toddler. "Just like your brothers, Hmm. You're going to grow up to be just as handsome as he is." She says, eyebrow raising as she receives a thousand watt smile from Caspar.

"Weally?" Caspar whispers, eyes wide. "Like Paul?"

I smother my laugh as Paul chokes next to me.

"Even more handsome that Paul." She says indulgently.

Sitting up Caspar beams over to his brother, who automatically mirrors the bright smile. "We both be handsome Pewwy!" He cheers, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Handsome?" He asks, shyly.

"Gorgeous." I answer, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

"Alright, now we've established how you're going to be more good looking than me, I believe it when I see it," he pauses to tickle Caspar when he snorts at his comment, "We better get going. We've got to get some rest before we meet up with the other tonight."

"So soon? You've barely been home since you became friends with Sam." Karen protests, frown drawing down onto her face.

"We've been through this mom, I'm working with him and the guys, it's busy work and the rest of the time I'm with Moth and the boys. You're at work or out most of the time anyway." Paul says easily, helping me rise to my feet.

"That's true, maybe I can come and see you at your house soon Moth, It seems to be the only place I'm garanteed to find my son." She says stiffly.

"Of course, you're welcome to come round anytime." I assure.

"Oh! Let me get you the leftovers, They usually just get forgotten in the fridge anyway and you could probably use a break from trying to fill my son's crater of a stomache." She offers.

"That would be great thanks, he may have to fight Markus for it though, he's got an appetite to match any wolf's." I laugh, faltering a little at the strained expression that flicks over her features before she moves to pack the leftovers. She rejoins us with a bag full of Tupperware that she sets at my feet.

"Thank you for this. Dinner was lovely." I bend and pick up the bag, before holding my hand out to Perry and moving out the door as Paul hold it open for us. "Say bye bye boys."

"Bye bye!" Caspar shouts, waving frantically in Paul's arms as he follows me out and down the path.

"Bye bye." Perry says much softer, too quiet for Karen to actually hear and offers a small wave and starts waving back until we move from sight.

"So did you like her guys?" Paul asks as we walk side by side down one of the worn in footpaths.

"She said we handsome." Caspar beams, cheering happily when Paul shifts him up until he was sat comfortably on Paul's shoulders, his legs swinging wildly, cast thumping against Paul's chest.

"Hey careful Cass." I warn.

"Sowwy."

"No problem bub." Paul smiles easily.

"Did you have a good time Perry?" I ask, swinging our linked hands cheerfully.

"Mhmm. I like the food." He answers softly.

"We'll order from them again sometime, you can try some new things off the menu." Paul says, grinning over at the shy boy.

"Paul love his mama like we love ourws?" Caspar asks curiously. "You didn't hug bye. Mama always gives big hugs and kisses bye."

Pausing before he answers, Paul takes a breath through his nose before releasing slowly. "It's complicated Cass."

"Why?"

"Sometimes people don't really get along, no matter what your relationship with them." Paul shrugs a little. "But it's fine." He assures, looking up to see the worried unhappy look on Caspar's face "I found my own family who I love most in the world."

"Weally? Who?"

"We'll ther's you and your brother, your mama and the guys of course, but don't tell 'em I said that, got a reputation to keep." Paul winks up at the toddler.

"I won't." Giggles Caspar.

Feeling warm from his words I grin as I catch a matching blush staining Perry's cheeks, the drop the basket to the floor and use my grip to pull Perry forward as I wrap my arms around Paul, tugging Perry to do the same. Cautiously Perry wraps his long arms around Paul's other side, ducking his head slightly to rest it against Paul's shoulder.

Laughing as Casper wraps his little arms around his head, blocking his sight and then rests his head on the top of his, Paul wraps one arm around Perry's shoulders and shifts his other to press against Casper, moving his head to place a kiss against each of ours.

"Alright, enough with the sappiness let's get home and get the ice cream out the freezer and get a movie on, you two can choose." Paul announces to cheers from Caspar who grins down at his brother, receiving a bright relaxed one back.

Reaching down I pick up the bag and place the handles high on my shoulder so it left my hand free to take Paul's outstretched one and Perry's in my other.

I smiled the whole way home as I walked and laughed with my little family.

* * *

"I'm going to have to kill you."

Feeling the scorching heat presses up against me shift and the gush of air against the back of my neck as he chuckles at my melodramatic exclamation, I turn in his arms to face his unrepentant expression.

"I'm serious. How could you Just spring that on me. I looked like an idiot." I scowl through the darkness at him, voice hushed. "And the day was going so well too."

"It wasn't _that_ bad." Paul huffs, rolling his eyes at me.

Squinting at him, though I knew we both had great night vision, I put my hand on his forehead as though checking for a fever. "I think you might be sick, how else could you have missed the glare your mother was leveling at me the whole evening. She practically choked on her chow mien when I told her I was eighteen."

"I should of probably prepped her on the little details like that first, I was just so focused on comming up with an explanation for Perry since he was the hardest to normalise." Paul muses, one hand playing with a stand of my hair.

"Really?" I ask surprised. "She barely bat an eye at him, she was more intent on me than anything."

"I wasn't expecting that. Honestly I wasn't going to bother introducing the two of you, it's not like I have a close relation ship with my mom, I just live at her place until I can afford my own." He shrugs. "But its something I've been thinking about since the misunderstanding, I want my life to be open to you so we can avoid having misunderstandings like that in the future and build your confidence about our relationship, but the elders didn't want mom to be in on the whole wolf thing, she's too unreliable so then I had to come up with some cover stories for Perry and you. I was so focused on the cover stories that It didn't even cross my mind that your age would be an issue. I had a whole story on Perry's medical history and a few extremely rare conditions lined up, but I just told her he had some disabilities and that was it, she didn't question me at all."

"Is that why she kept telling me about her friend who work with 'special' people?" I ask, frowning a little at his snort of laughter.

"She's not very good at subtlety"

" _Wait._ " I say, Paul's earlier words sinking in. "Your mom doesn't know know about all of us being wolves? But I talked about you and the pack most of the night! Why didn't you tell em she didn't know before we went?"

"I didn't want to ruin the surprise, pLisa she thinks I'm in a gang and Sam's the leader, so she probably thought that our group name was something to do with the tribe's legends or something. Didn't you notice the looks she was giving us every time you referred to us as the pack." He chuckles. "It's annoying and makes things more complicated but I agree with the elders, i already knew they'd say no but I thought I could be bias since I grew up with her, but I don't think she'd handle being told her son turns into a giant wolf very well, but I wanted you to meet her, even if it's only once."

Eyes softening, I wrap my arms around Paul's neck, leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "You didn't have to go through all that stress over us. I would have been happy that you even asked to tell her about the wolves for us, you could have just told me that you weren't close to her. It's not like I can open up my life before you to show you or introduce you to my parents." I say, running my fingers across his cheek bones, Paul just shakes his head and me, leaning in to give me a more lingering kiss.

"You telling me about your past is enough, and that can be at whatever pace your comfortable with, we've got the rest of our lives together to get through everything baby, I just wanted to take the first step in showing that I'm serious and that you're part of my life now. I want you to know I'm yours completely. My past, present and future."

Cheeks heating as I stare dazed at the blaze in Paul's eyes, my mouth opens wordlessly, lump in my throat that I couldn't dislodge, instead I roll us so that I straddle his lap and place my hands on either side of his head, slanting my mouth over his. Laughing a little when I pull away and Paul tries to follow I place a hand on his chest to push him back down to the bed before grasping the bottom of my shirt, hesitating unsurely as my courage wanes and my hand freeze.

"What are you doing?" Paul breaths, hands coming to take hold of mine. "I told you there's no rush."

"I know. I'm not... having sex with you, I'm not ready for that but we can try... exploring a little. I just want to return the favour." I say, voice a little breathless with my nervousness. Paul looks at me questingly.

"Returned the favour?"

"You shared part of yourself that I hadn't seen before with me, now I'm going to do the same."

"Your hands are shaking."

"I've never done something like this before, I'm nervous. But I want to do this, just... go slowly."

Eyes flicking over my face and seeing my determination, Paul nods slowly, hands gliding from mine to my waist, thumbs brushing tantalisingly against the sliver of skin I had exposed before pausing. "We're not going all the way, we're just playing and as soon as it feels too much tell me straight away and we'll stop. Okay baby?." He breathes eyes dark as he watches me.

"Okay." I whisper, leaning down to give him a heated kiss before raising up again and taking a deep breath through my nose and releasing it slowly. "Okay." And before I let my nerves get the best of me I whip my t-shirt up and over my head, chucking it off to the side of the room then look down into Paul's eyes shyly, my face burning at the heat in his eyes as they rake over my exposed skin.

"Fuck." He breaths, grip tightening on my hips, making me giggle nervously. "Promise you'll tell me to stop when you need me to stop."

"Promise." I gasp as his hands slowly slide up my ribs and he rises of the bed to press his mouth to mine.


	45. Noticing

**.45.**

 **Paul POV:**

"Stop it." My imprint hisses at me, blushing to the tips of her slightly pointed ears.

"Stop what?" I ask over the top of my coffee mug, eyebrow cocking questioningly at her.

"Grinning like that." She ducks her head, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, "Your face is too obvious." She wrinkles her nose, eyes flicking over to the kitchen door as if she expected the pack to burst in and give us shit for reaching second base last night.

"What can I say? My girl makes me happy." I grin at her, rumbling in pleasure when she gets that soft look on her face I love so much.

"You're such a softie." She chuckles, shaking her head, reaching across the table to take my hand.

"Only for you baby." I wink, lifting her hand to kiss the scared skin of her knuckles, keeping eye contact with her the whole time then laughing out loud when she blushes impossibly brighter.

"Erm." An embarrassed voice coughs from the doorway. "Are you guys done? I can come back?" Seth scratches the back of his head sheepishly, eyes flicking from Moth's flushed face to my sharpening glare.

Moth draws her hand back from mine. "Don't be silly, come in. Here you can finish this for me, Paul always makes me too much." She grumbles. Eyes dropping to her practically untouched plate of fried eggs, bacon, beans and fried mushrooms, my wolf watches closely, uneasiness that had been building over the last few days making him stand to attention.

She hadn't eaten again.

Seth, not noticing, bounces happily over to the table and takes the seat next to her, easily accepting her plateful and shovelling it down eagerly.

"This is great." He hums around his mouthful, barely swelling before he loads another mouthful in. "Where's the boys? They already eaten?"

"You've missed them I'm afraid, Markus took them fishing with him and Billy. He wants to get Perry out and about more and Cass has been getting restless because of his leg." Moth smiles apologetically at the younger teen.

"That's great for Perry, he deserves to have fun." Seth smiles softly before shaking his head and bouncing in his seat as he turns fully to Moth, big grin on his face. "Since my plans with the boys are ruined want to come to Emily's and hang out?"

Moth looks over at me questioningly, silently asking what I wanted to do.

"Sure let's go, you can hang out there while I do my shift, spend time with everyone, they keep moaning that I don't bring you round enough. Let's make the day of it. I'll meet you back there when I'm done and we can eat before we go pick up the boys." I answer, mentally making a note to speak to Markus to see if he knows or noticed anything about her eating later tonight, since I was planning on staying over again, I'd try and catch him while Moth is getting the boys ready for bed.

"Great! You better get ready to go, your shift starts in half an hour."

"I'll just go get ready then, oh can you pack the leftover ham I have in the fridge please Seth, there's plenty enough for lunch with the others later." Moth asks as she rises from her seat and heads towards her bedroom.

"Sure!" Seth smiles easily, lifting Moth's empty plate and placing it in the sink. Growling at the oblivious teen, I stand and slap him upside the head.

"Ow! What did I do now?" He asks, rubbing the back of his head as he warily watches the scowl on my face.

"That's for poaching breakfast." I rumble, knowing it wasn't Seth's fault she didn't eat, this had been going on for at least the last week, but my wolf felt restless and didn't like being in the dark when it came to the health of my imprint, so Seth scarfing down her food was an easy target to take a bit of ire out on.

"She gave it to me!" He burst out, feeling affronted.

"You should have said no." I quickly get to work cleaning the sinkfull Of dishes, needing to do something for Moth, even if it was a minuscule chore.

My inmprint renters the room after about ten minutes smelling of her new ginger body soap and wearing a long, off the shoulder, dark-blue dress with white flowers printed over it, the light fabric floating around her as she walks towards us, her hair pulled up messily into a bun, a few strands still curling around her face.

She looked beautiful as usual, I don't think she could ever look less than to me but my sharp, already alert gaze couldn't help but notice her leaner looking frame, pale bared shoulders looking sharper than usual.

"You didn't have to do that, I would have done it when we got back." Moth says, automatically enetering my arms to press herself against me.

"It fine, wasn't much there anyway." I shrug, bending down to steal a kiss, catching Seth wrinkling his nose and averting his eyes at the show of affection. "Ready?" I ask quietly against her lips.

"Mhmm." She answers, eyes soft as she looks into mine, making me press my lips back to hers for a moment before drawing away completely and taking her hand as we leave through the kitchen door.

Walking leisurely down the worn in footpaths, Seth's chattering and Moth occasional interjection becoming background noise as I plan on how to broach the subject with Markus, hoping that he would have noticed and might have some answers.

However I went about it one thing was for sure, I will be getting to the bottom of this and I then I will do whatever I have to to help my imprint.

... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"And Pewwy caught a fish this big!" Caspar holds his arms out as wide as they would go.

"That's amazing Perry." Emily praises, warm smile on her face as she watches the two brothers regail their great fishing expedition, Perry actually seeming as excited as his little brother.

"The rod nearly broke." Perry added.

"You did well to reel it in Perry." Billy nods, patting him on the shoulder in praise.

"You should have seen his face." Markus snorts before exaggeratedly contorting his face to parody the effort on Perry's face in that moment, making the others chuckle. "He was really determined to get it."

Perry blushes and ducks his head, receiving another ruffle of his hair from Billy.

"Are you sure we shouldn't wake Moth? She might like to try some of Perry and Caspar's freshly caught fish." Emily asks, small concerned frown on her face.

"No, let her sleep, she's been pretty tired over the last few days." Markus replies around his mouthful of battered fish.

"But she must be hungry."

"I go wake herw!" Caspar volunteers, shuffling in his seat, only to be stopped by his brother, carefully placing him back back into position, and quietly asking if his leg was comfortable.

"You stay and eat your dinner, I'll go and check on your mama, I'll ask if she wants something to eat." I interject, smothering my laugh at the pout Caspar was aiming at his brother. "Emily wants someone to help her ice the cakes after dinner, you'll help her right?"

"I help!" Caspar beams at her, "Pewwy and me help!"

Chuckling at the toddler, I push away from the table and move into the living room, quietly walking up to the two-seater my imprint was curled on, an unhappy frown marring her brow as she slept. Sitting down on the edge of the couch I brush my fingers between her brow, smoothing out the pale skin. "Moth." I say softly, to draw her awake.

"Mmm?" She mumbles eyes remained tightly shut.

"Emily cooked the fish the boys brought back, you want to come and eat some?"

Rolling onto her back and stretching out with a groan, Moth cracks her left, nearly pitch black eye, open to look at me. "I'm not hungry." She whispers.

We stare at each other, both waiting for the other to say something. Waiting for the other to address the hungry elephant in the room.

"You need to eat." I say firmly. I didn't know what to do and that was making me agitated.

"I can't." Is all she says.

"Help me understand." I ask, leaning down to get closer to her, needing the contact.

She doesn't answer, but I can see in her eyes that she's searching for the right words, so I'd understand, but coming up with nothing.

"Why aren't you eating Moth?"

"It's a bad habit." She finally answers with a shrug, leaving me even more confused.

"What-?"

"Mama, come and help us decorwate the cakes!" Caspar calls.

Taking the opportunity to get out of answering my questions, Moth swiftly slips from beneath me and only offers a small smile before disappearing out of the room.

 _Goddamn it._ Growling at her evasion, and my frustration over being in the dark about what was going on with her, I felt the urge to break something. My hands clenching into the seat of the sofa.

"You alright in here? You and Moth aren't fighting are you? She come out looking all gloomy." Markus asks, popping his head around the doorway. His eyes widen as he takes in my burning scowl then steps fully into the room and closing the door behind him to give us some privacy. "What's wrong, are you actually fighting? Do you want me to go and get Sam or Emily so you can talk to them?"

"No I wanted to talk to you actually. I was going to wait until tonight while Moth was seeing to the boys, but I can't wait, I need to know."

"What is it?" Markus asks, wide eyed, body tense as he takes a seat on the other sofa, elbows resting on his knees as he waits for me to speak.

"Moth's not eating." I breathe.

Markus seems to freeze for a moment before heaving out a great sigh and raking his hands through his hair. "This again."

"What?" I demand, needing an answer now.

"You have to understand that Moth's wolf, and Moth herself, both came out of the facility traumatised in some way."

I just cross my arms over my chest and nod tightly.

"Well moths been having to push her wolf to keep going, like a beaten animal it goes into a sort of catatonic state, one time I saw her shifted, her wolf just crawled into a corner and didn't move until they sedated it and her human form took over again. The eating thing." He pauses, "When the wolf is feeling stressed or in danger it tends to stop functioning. Moth fights as much as she can but it's hard to fight something that is part of her being."

"I don't understand why it would starve itself though, for a wild animal, everything is about survival."

"I know, but that's just how traumatised the poor thing is. They were cruel to moth enough when she was human, but the wolf was tougher physically, it could take more. They didn't hold back with the wolf. Moth herself only ever fought back when it came to Caspar, she didn't protest her treatment, but the wolf." He shakes his head. "When the wolf is starving and they back it into a corner." He shakes his head again. "Let's just say it's not a good situation. Moth usually manages to get her wolf going again, especially after she had Caspar, both her and her wolf were focused on keeping him safe, and to do that she needed to be at her best, so don't worry yourself too much, she'll get back on track in time, my guess is that this whole battle sutuation is making the wolf uneasy."

"Moth said she was alright with the plan." I say with a frown.

"Moth herself may be, but the wolf has always been more flighty."

"So what should I do? Just let her starve herself and hope she sorts it out before she gets too bad? She was underweight when she got here and now... it's taking a tole."

"I don't know what do do Paul, I thought this stuff would just stop since she's out of there, naive I know. I would suggest you talk to her about this. Properly talk about this, don't just tell her to shove a cake down her throat and get chubby, sit down, tell her what you have to say and listen to her, and maybe you two can talk about how to help her and her wolf get better."

"Does she need a therapist?" I ask after a thoughtful pause.

"Definitely. But how can that truly work when she has to hide a huge part of her life because she can't expose her self and her life to a human doctor."

 _No it wouldn't work with a human doctor._

An idea started forming in my mind, an idea that made my stomach roll in unease and my inner wolf howl in protest.

I knew that moth would be against the idea but it was the best thing I could think of. I knew I wasn't the right person to help Moth come to terms with her life before coming here, I could only offer support while she worked through it. She needed a professional who had the right tools to give her the best chance at getting better. No matter how against it my wolf was there was only one person I could think of that could fulfill that role for Moth and it was going to be tricky to negotiate but I knew deep down it was the best shot, I would need to speak to a few people first, get the gist of how this would work then I'd speak to Moth about my idea.

First I needed to speak with the Cullen patriarch.


	46. Taking Action

**.46.**

The hollow feeling inside me felt normal now. Which scared me.

I hadn't felt like this since before Caspar was born, the occasional bouts I had after that nothing compared to now.

Before Caspar I felt as though I was trapped at the bottom of a dark, all consuming pit that kept me numb to the world around me. A pit so deep I couldn't see the light beyond. The horrors of my life weighed me down, keeping me trapped in that hole.

It took everything I had to claw my way out, and everyday I gather my strength and take another step away from the edge, stumbling back occasionally when I trip over an obstacle in my path to that light of happiness.

This battle was a big stumbling block, one that I had not yet encountered. One I couldn't even see but I knew it was coming.

This time it wasn't just me that had I had to haul over though, it was the people I loved too.

Just thinking about it made my wolf whine.

I would not be fighting this time, I would have to rely on others and that was something that was hard to come to terms with and feel comfortable with. I tried to appease my wolf with the knowledge that we would be with with Caspar, Perry and the imprints and would guard them until the pack got back or protect them if anything went wrong, but my wolf still worried.

Up until this point I had been relying on myself to keep us safe, it was hard to let go and share that responsibility with others, no matter how willing they were to share the load.

The wolf side of me was so anxious about it that it couldn't eat.

I had experienced this before but it hadn't been this bad for a long time, the days of starvation weakening me significantly and this was something that I could not allow to continue. I needed to be well and ready for the battle.

The trouble was that I didn't know how to sort this, usually my wolf just snaps out of it, but the whole uncertainty of the battle looming over our heads was just making me worse.

Paul had noticed by now, this I knew before he even asked me about it. I saw the way he would watch me whenever he was around, eyes taking in slight thinning of my limbs, that my wolf's higher metabolism sped up. Him noticing me pushing my food around my plate and offering my untouched leftovers to the other pack members. I didn't know how to answer when he asked me, my natural reaction to deny and divert bubbling up in my throat pushed by the guilt and failure I felt because I'd allowed myself to get this way, but I wouldn't lie to him. He asks that I trust him to take care of me so I told him the truth, it's a bad habit, well I'm sure Markus has told me another name for it, something clinical, but to me it felt like a bad habit. He had wanted to talk more about it but as usual we were interrupted, an unfortunate side effect of my becoming more social. Part of me wanted to prolong having to talk about it for as long as possible, but I too noticed the effect it was having on Paul, he was angsty, unfocused and snapped at his pack mates more often, so I had made up my mind that I would bring it up when we were alone and I would tell him everything he needed to know. I was going to trust him and rely on him, just as he always asked.

"Mama?" Caspar looks up at me, flour covered hands still rolling the dough on the table top. We were in the kitchen trying out a new bread recipe I had found in one of the cookbooks Emily had given me. I had really taken up baking and all things cooking recently, my dreams of cooking for my family and teaching Caspar too now able to become a reality. It had been a while since it had been just the two of us, then again we were never truly alone before or after we came here, Markus had taken Perry with him and Billy on another fishing trip whilst Caspar had made the surprising decision to stay behind without his brother, who had then needed to be reassured that it was okay to go without his brothers support.

"Yes Baby?"

"I moving out." He states, with a cautious blandness to his voice.

Startled, I miss my own ball of dough and the heel of my hand thuds onto the wood of the table. "You're what?"

"I moving out." He says again matter of factly, removing his hands from the dough and brushing them against each other to try and remove some of the mess on his hands.

"Right." I say, kind of stumped about how I should reply. "May I ask why? Do you not like the house?"

"No, I like it, 'specially my woom."

"Then, why?"

"I'm big boy now." He shrugs.

"Baby you're four years old, you're not moving out until you're eighteen at least, there's no rush."

"No! I moving now!" He scowls stomping his foot, his cheeks turning red and that tell tale scrunch of his eyebrows showing that he was trying not to cry.

"Caspar, I don't know what's going on right now baby, just explain what's wrong." I wipe my hands on the back of my shorts and move to stand next to him, bending until I was eye level with him, and running one hand through his curls whilst the other cups his flushed cheek. "Tell me what going on."

"You need spa- spa-" He wails before he finishes, throwing his arms around my neck and burying his face against my neck, clinging tightly as I raise to my full height and rock him soothingly.

"Shh, it's okay." I murmur, really not understanding what was going on with my toddler.

I sway from foot to foot, rubbing his back and trying to calm him through my confusion, waiting for him to settle, then sitting him on the kitchen counter and looking him in the eyes as I cup his cheeks and use my thumbs to wipe his tears.

"Tell me."

"The TV girwl said she needed space." He says, as if I'd understand him.

"TV? Space?" I frown, still not understanding what was making him so upset. "Explain it to me baby, I don't understand what you mean." I ask, tucking a curl behind his ear.

"You'we sad like TV girwl. Want mama happy so give space." He answers, looking up at me through wet lashes, fresh tears building in his eyes.

A fresh wave of guilt nearly topples me as I take in my babies words. "Oh Cass. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I kiss his damp cheek bring him back into my arms. "I don't want space from you, not ever. I love having you with me."

"But mama sad." He cries, leaning back a little to meet my eyes.

"I'm just not well right now cass, but I'm going to be better soon, I promise. I'm going to make myself better."

"Mama hurwt?" He asks, looking worried.

"I've just got a bad tummy, don't worry, I'll get better, I'll make sure of it." Kissing his forehead I gather him into my arms and hug him tightly, kissing the side of his head when he buries his face against the crook of my neck. A feeling of inevitability settles over me as I give him another kiss before rising to my full minuscule height, my mind whirring around an idea I was reluctantly forming. "Come on now, lets get this bread made then we'll see about going and finding your brother."

"Okay." Caspar agrees, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hands. Moving his hands from his eyes, I use the bottom of my shirt to gently wipe his eyes and cheeks, Caspar smiles brightly up at me after I step away. "There's my beautiful boy, look at that georgeous smile." I gently pinch his cheeks.

"Mama!" Cass giggles, rolling his eyes at me, yet another thing he had picked up from his pack brothers, a list of habbits that was steadily growing.

As we hurried as much as we could to get the bread done, I knew there was no stalling or dithering about what to do anymore, I had to act now for everyone's sake, even though the only thing I could think of made my skin crawl and was sure to land me in some hot water with my very protective imprint.

* * *

"Moth's here for you whelp." Billy calls as he lets us into the house. Perry smiles happily at us, coming up and placing a kiss on my cheek before taking his brother from my arms and taking him over to the couch and sitting him on his lap as he retakes his spot next to Seth and continues to watch baseball with Billy Markus and some of the other elders.

Peri had really taken to the old timers, and they to him. Markus had started coaxing Peri out with him when he visited his old friends, nearly always ending up at Billy's watching baseball and eating the catch of the day while listening to the men around him chat and gossip (not that they'd admit that). Seth also seemed to have attached himself to Peri, spending nearly all his free time with him, even when Peri was too shy to even raise his head in his presence, but Seth prevailed and Peri was even meeting the energetic wolf's eyes more often that not when Seth spoke to him, and on occasion answer questions with words rather that his usual nod or shake of his head.

We were all pleased with his progress, and Peri was happier, which was what mattered.

"Hey Moth!" Seth calls out to me, waving over the back of the couch, "'wanna watch the rest of the game with us? Wait." He stops, sniffing the air. "Did you bring food!?" His eyes shine as he bounces up and approaches with a huge grin on his face. Smiling back at him I hand over the tins without a word, knowing that he would find a way to snatch a couple of the still warm rolls anyway. Popping the lid of one of the tins, he lifts it to his nose and inhales deeply. "Mmm. Peri smell these, they smell amazing!" Seth rejoins the little group. "You're getting really good at baking Cass." He praises, earning a big smile from Caspar.

"He really is, helped me knead the dough." I smile affectionately, "Even had the idea to shape them into a twist."

"Wow Cass, you're a little chef in the making."

"Can I get you anything Moth? There's some fish left I can quickly fry up if you'd like." Billy asks.

"No thank you, I was actually wondering if you could watch for a Cass for a little while, while I run some errands."

"Of course, you need any help I could call Jake or one of the boys to go with you."

"No, no, I'm fine, I should only be a little while, I just thought Caspar would rather spend time with some of his favourite people rather than come with me, if you're sure you don't mind of course."

"Of course I don't mind, I love having the little man with us."

"You going to be late? Want me to sort dinner?" Markus asks.

"I shouldn't be that long but I'll find a phone and give you a call if anything changes." I assure before moving to say goodbye to everyone and leaving out the way I came and heading into the trees in an easy jog, exhausted but wanting to get to my destination before anyone caught me or I could change my mind.

I use some of the last of my wolf's energy to keep my senses alert as to avoid the wolves on patrol, one of which I knew was Paul.

As I neared the river I slowed, I wasn't sure weather the treaty borders included me since I wasn't from around here but I was living on pack land and part wolf. Easing myself down the back I gingerly picked my way across, stepping on rocks to try and avoid my feet getting too wet, then shakily climbing up the other side, pausing as I lifted myself up onto coven territory I wait for a tense moment, almost expecting someone to jump out from either side of the river, but it remained still. Moving again, I decided to keep a much slower rate.

My pulse raced despite the sedate speed, my palms clammy and prickling. Even in my weakened state my wolf pushed against my human skin as the huge glass house came into view, despite fighting to keep it in my vision blurred for a moment as my eyes shifted, before everything become monochrome.

There was movement ahead then the door in opened.

Jasper.

"Moth. What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" he asks me, eyes showing somethinng resembling worry.

"Is she okay? she looks ill." Another head pops up behind him, looking at me nervously.

Swallowing thickly, I try and blink the wolf from my eyes. "I'm fine."

Jasper watches me, concerned. "Did you need something Moth?"

I nod my head slowly, every instinct I had fighting to keep the words from leaving my mouth.

"Carlisle." I choke out. "I need to speak to Carlisle."

* * *

 _A/N: I guess paul and Moth are on the same wavelength :p_


End file.
